Explanation of the Book of Marriage-19
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The Shaykh : Then the author said: "And from Umm Salimah (may Allah be pleased with her): Bulugh al-Maram 8:107 Muslim narrated it": Umm Salimah was married to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) after the death of Abu Salimah, and her story is well known. When her husband passed away, and he was her cousin and one of the most beloved people to her, she said: What the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided her to: :
She did not mean by this to reject what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) informed her of, but she was turning over in her mind who would be better than him? Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, so-and-so, so-and-so. Yes, so one came who was better than Abu Salimah, and that was the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). He proposed to her, and she was a widow, like all the other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). All the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were widows except for one only, and that was Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).
So he married her and stayed with her for three days because she was a widow, and the Sunnah is that when a man marries a widow, he stays with her for three days and then divides his time among his wives.
Then he said to her:Sahih Muslim 1460a by your people, meaning himself (peace and blessings be upon him).
And "held in low regard" means: lowliness and cheapness. Rather, you are honored and precious in their eyes. So if he divides his time after the three days, this is not because I hold you in low regard, but because this is the right.
Then he said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1917Sahih (Darussalam):
Sunan Ibn Majah 1917Sahih (Darussalam): That is: I have given you seven days.
Sahih Muslim 1460e: I have given them seven days. Lower yourselves, everyone, meaning if I give you seven days, I give my wives seven days. Sahih Muslim 1460e:
And this hadith is clear in meaning: that if a man marries a widow, her right is that he stays with her for three days. Then, if he has stayed for three days, he gives her the choice. He said: meaning: I have given them seven days.
And this hadith adds to the first hadith a matter, which is: giving the woman the choice to stay with him for seven days or for him to divide his time among his wives after the three days.
When the Prophet (ﷺ) married her he stayed with her for three nights and said, "You are not being humbles in my estimation. If you wish I shall stay with you seven nights, and if I stay with you for seven nights I shall do the same with my other wives."
أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لما تزوجها أقام عندها ثلاثا، وقال: إنه ليس بك على أهلك هوان إن شئت سبّعت لك وإن سبّعت لك سبّعت لنسائيTo Allah we belong and to Him we return. O Allah, grant me safety in my affliction and replace for me something better than it. And she used to say to herself: Who is better than Abu Salimah?
إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون، اللهم أَجِرني في مصيبتي وأخلف لي خيرا منها، وكانت تقول في نفسها : من خير من أبي سلمة ؟She did not mean by this to reject what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) informed her of, but she was turning over in her mind who would be better than him? Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, so-and-so, so-and-so. Yes, so one came who was better than Abu Salimah, and that was the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). He proposed to her, and she was a widow, like all the other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). All the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were widows except for one only, and that was Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).
So he married her and stayed with her for three days because she was a widow, and the Sunnah is that when a man marries a widow, he stays with her for three days and then divides his time among his wives.
Then he said to her:
There is no lack of estimation on the part of your husband for you.
إنه ليس بك على أهلك هوانAnd "held in low regard" means: lowliness and cheapness. Rather, you are honored and precious in their eyes. So if he divides his time after the three days, this is not because I hold you in low regard, but because this is the right.
Then he said:
If you wish, I will stay with you for seven days, but then I will stay with my other wives for seven days too.
إن شئت سبّعت لك وإن سبّعت لك سبّعت لنسائيIf you wish, I will stay with you for seven days
إن شئت سبّعت لكand if spend a week with you, I shall have to spend a week with my (other) wives
وإن سبّـعت لك سبّعت لنسائيand if spend a week with you, I shall have to spend a week with my (other) wives
وإن سبّعت لك سبّعت لنسائيAnd this hadith is clear in meaning: that if a man marries a widow, her right is that he stays with her for three days. Then, if he has stayed for three days, he gives her the choice. He said:
If you wish, you may stay with me for the remainder of the seven days, but if I give you seven days, I will give my other wives seven days.
إن شئت بقيت عندك تتمة السبع ولكن إن سبعت لك سبعت لنسائيAnd this hadith adds to the first hadith a matter, which is: giving the woman the choice to stay with him for seven days or for him to divide his time among his wives after the three days.