A Foreign, Pious, Virgin, Prolific Woman Without a Mother
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh : Then the author mentioned "Who is it recommended to marry? He said: It is recommended to marry one woman", and the discussion on this has already taken place, mentioning the correct view in that matter, which is that the best is to have multiple wives, subject to certain conditions.
He said "Pious", meaning one who possesses religion, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)Sahih al-Bukhari 5090. Some people might say, "I will marry a woman who is not pious, perhaps Allah will guide her through me." We are not tasked with this; in response to his statement, we say to him: We are not tasked with the future. We do not know about the future. Perhaps you marry her hoping that Allah will guide her through you, but she turns you to what she is, and you suffer because of her. And conversely, some people propose to a man who is not religious, but they say, "Perhaps Allah will guide him." Worse than that is when a man is known for not praying, and they say, "Perhaps Allah will guide him." We say: We are not tasked with the future; knowledge of the future is with Allah. What are we tasked with? With what is before us, with reality, with the present. So we say: Perhaps this man you thought would be upright will actually corrupt your daughter and mislead her, because a man has control over a woman. How many a committed woman marries a man she thinks is pious, only to find out he is not, and she suffers greatly with him. And perhaps he is pious outwardly but an open sinner inwardly, and she suffers greatly with him. We are constantly complained to about this matter by women, until she wishes to flee with her religion from this man, even if it costs her all her money. Therefore, one must be cautious in these matters, whether it is the man marrying the woman or the woman marrying the man. Now, what is the evidence for choosing a pious woman? The saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) ?
The questioner : .
The Shaykh : Yes, "Foreign" means there is no kinship between them. They justify this with a cause, and we look to see if it is a valid cause or not. They say that if he marries a woman who is not related to him, the children will be more intelligent, meaning the child will be intelligent because he takes on the character of his father's side and his mother's side, taking from both. But if he marries a close relative, intelligence will not be renewed for him. However, there is a consideration here; the recommendation that she be a foreigner is debatable. What is your opinion on the intelligence of al-Hasan ibn 'Ali ibn Abi Talib? There is no doubt about it, and 'Ali ibn Abi Talib married the daughter of his cousin, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). Likewise, many relatives marry each other, and the child appears intelligent. It is true that there is a cause that may have a point, which is that problems and disputes may occur between this man and his wife, leading to the severing of family ties, which happens often, especially in the desert. If it were justified by saying "a foreigner" so that there is no discord or dispute between them leading to what? Severing of family ties. If it were justified by this cause, it would have a point. Nevertheless, we do not dare to say that it is recommended to marry a foreigner so that this does not happen, because we have a principle established by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), which is the principleSunan Ibn Majah 1858Sahih (Darussalam). So if your cousin is pious and has good character, and it is rare to find this in a foreign woman, do we say to turn away from her to this? No. Therefore, one should choose from women what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) chose: affectionate, prolific, and pious. Is that clear? Now, he says "foreign without a mother." Yes, "Virgin", based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to Jabir ibn 'Abd Allah , meaning "Why not a virgin?" . And it is true that a virgin is more preferable than a previously married woman, first because of what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) indicated, and second because she may have become very attached to her first husband, so her relationship with you will be less than what you expect.
The third is "Without a mother". And do you know what a mother is?
The questioner : Prolific.
The Shaykh : Is "Prolific"? Yes, I am rushing to the "without a mother" part because it is strange. "Prolific" means one who gives birth to many children. A prolific woman is one who gives birth to many children. There is no contradiction between his saying "virgin" and his saying "prolific," because one might ask: How do I know she is prolific if she is a virgin? We say there is no contradiction, and this is known by her relatives: her mother, her sister, her grandmother, her maternal aunt, and the like. Because it is generally the case that high fertility is hereditary. Women known for high fertility are known for it. So we say "prolific" meaning she is from those known for high fertility. The evidence for this is the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). And why? In terms of the cause, because many children are beloved to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), as he used to boast with us among the nations on the Day of Resurrection. And because a large family is a source of honor for you, my brothers, and for you. And the words of the materialists who say that a large family leads to poverty, idleness, and unemployment. A large family is honor. Allah bestowed it upon the Children of Israel, where He said [Al-Isra 17:6]. And Shu'ayb reminded his people of it, where he said [Al-A'raf 7:86]. A large family is honor, especially if their land is suitable for plowing, agriculture, and industry, meaning it has raw materials for industry and so on. And by Allah, a large family is never a cause of poverty and unemployment. A large family is honor. One should choose a woman who is what? Prolific. And the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said . Also, "affectionate." What defines her as affectionate? Meaning she tries to be affectionate with her husband. This is also known by whom? By the relatives. Because an affectionate woman causes a person to love her, and if he loves her, it necessitates that he have intercourse with her, so the children increase. Therefore, "affectionate" and "prolific" are considered almost synonymous.
"Without a mother". We have reached it now. "Without a mother" means one should choose a woman who does not have a mother, meaning she grew from the ground? Or does it mean her mother is missing?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : Yes, it means her mother is missing. And if it is decreed that Allah has given her the lifespan of old women, and every woman has a mother, does he go to the outside? This is actually debatable, greatly debatable. The cause for this, they say, is that if she has a mother, she might corrupt her for him. Look, Subhan Allah, this is superstition. "She might corrupt her for him." This is true. But if you think about it now and want to compare and apply reality, you will find that most women have mothers, and most women were not corrupted by their mothers, praise be to Allah. It is rare for a mother to corrupt. And if you say "without a mother," we say also the husband should be without a mother. Yes, that is correct, because some mothers of male husbands corrupt him for the woman, or corrupt the woman for him. How many a mother was jealous of her son's love for his wife, then stood up wailing and screaming, saying, "She corrupted my son for me," and then tried to corrupt the relationship between her and her husband. So if you say "without a mother," say "husband without a mother" as well, because the danger here is a danger here. And what we should say is that we do not engage in superstition. How many a mother became a help for her daughter's husband with her daughter. Her daughter comes to her complaining about her husband, and she says, "My daughter, this is the nature of people, all husbands do such and such," and she calms her heart and encourages her to hold on to him, and the like. And this is common. This is common. Perhaps this is more common than superstition. So the correct view is that their saying "Without a mother" is a weak statement, and that one should not look at this. And how many a mother did Allah place blessing in, so she became a cause for binding the husband and wife when there is what necessitates the breaking of the ties. Now, he says "And it is permissible for him". Yes?
He said "Pious", meaning one who possesses religion, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
تُنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها وحسبها وجمالها ودينها فاظفر بذات الدين ترِبت يداكSeize the one with religion
اظفر بذات الدينThe questioner :
May your hands be dusted.
تربت يداكThe Shaykh : Yes, "Foreign" means there is no kinship between them. They justify this with a cause, and we look to see if it is a valid cause or not. They say that if he marries a woman who is not related to him, the children will be more intelligent, meaning the child will be intelligent because he takes on the character of his father's side and his mother's side, taking from both. But if he marries a close relative, intelligence will not be renewed for him. However, there is a consideration here; the recommendation that she be a foreigner is debatable. What is your opinion on the intelligence of al-Hasan ibn 'Ali ibn Abi Talib? There is no doubt about it, and 'Ali ibn Abi Talib married the daughter of his cousin, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). Likewise, many relatives marry each other, and the child appears intelligent. It is true that there is a cause that may have a point, which is that problems and disputes may occur between this man and his wife, leading to the severing of family ties, which happens often, especially in the desert. If it were justified by saying "a foreigner" so that there is no discord or dispute between them leading to what? Severing of family ties. If it were justified by this cause, it would have a point. Nevertheless, we do not dare to say that it is recommended to marry a foreigner so that this does not happen, because we have a principle established by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), which is the principle
Choose the religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).
اظفر بذات الدين ترِبت يداكWhy not a virgin
هلا بكراYour playfulness and her playfulness
تلاعبك وتلاعبهاThe third is "Without a mother". And do you know what a mother is?
The questioner : Prolific.
The Shaykh : Is "Prolific"? Yes, I am rushing to the "without a mother" part because it is strange. "Prolific" means one who gives birth to many children. A prolific woman is one who gives birth to many children. There is no contradiction between his saying "virgin" and his saying "prolific," because one might ask: How do I know she is prolific if she is a virgin? We say there is no contradiction, and this is known by her relatives: her mother, her sister, her grandmother, her maternal aunt, and the like. Because it is generally the case that high fertility is hereditary. Women known for high fertility are known for it. So we say "prolific" meaning she is from those known for high fertility. The evidence for this is the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
Marry those who are loving and fertile
تزوّجوا الودود الولودand made you more numerous in manpower
وجعلناكم أكثر نفيراAnd remember when you were few and He increased you
واذكروا إذ كنتم قليلا فكثّركمThe affectionate one
الودود"Without a mother". We have reached it now. "Without a mother" means one should choose a woman who does not have a mother, meaning she grew from the ground? Or does it mean her mother is missing?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : Yes, it means her mother is missing. And if it is decreed that Allah has given her the lifespan of old women, and every woman has a mother, does he go to the outside? This is actually debatable, greatly debatable. The cause for this, they say, is that if she has a mother, she might corrupt her for him. Look, Subhan Allah, this is superstition. "She might corrupt her for him." This is true. But if you think about it now and want to compare and apply reality, you will find that most women have mothers, and most women were not corrupted by their mothers, praise be to Allah. It is rare for a mother to corrupt. And if you say "without a mother," we say also the husband should be without a mother. Yes, that is correct, because some mothers of male husbands corrupt him for the woman, or corrupt the woman for him. How many a mother was jealous of her son's love for his wife, then stood up wailing and screaming, saying, "She corrupted my son for me," and then tried to corrupt the relationship between her and her husband. So if you say "without a mother," say "husband without a mother" as well, because the danger here is a danger here. And what we should say is that we do not engage in superstition. How many a mother became a help for her daughter's husband with her daughter. Her daughter comes to her complaining about her husband, and she says, "My daughter, this is the nature of people, all husbands do such and such," and she calms her heart and encourages her to hold on to him, and the like. And this is common. This is common. Perhaps this is more common than superstition. So the correct view is that their saying "Without a mother" is a weak statement, and that one should not look at this. And how many a mother did Allah place blessing in, so she became a cause for binding the husband and wife when there is what necessitates the breaking of the ties. Now, he says "And it is permissible for him". Yes?