And he has a look at what generally appears repeatedly without seclusion
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The Shaykh :"And he has a look at what generally appears repeatedly without seclusion" The reality is that the author (may Allah have mercy on him), due to his extreme brevity, used this ambiguous phrase. For whom? For the husband? No, it is not for the husband; the husband may look at his wife as much as he wishes. So for whom? For the man? No, it is for the suitor. If the author had said "and for the suitor," it would have been more appropriate, clearer, and more explicit, adding only a few letters. But some scholars (may Allah have mercy on them and forgive us and them) are obsessed with complete brevity, which complicates the issues. We say that the lam indicates permissibility, and the pronoun refers to the suitor, meaning "and for the suitor." The author's phrase "and for the suitor" may be intended to dispel the assumption of prohibition, meaning the lam of permissibility. I say it may be intended to dispel the assumption of prohibition, because a person might say the original ruling is that looking at a woman is not allowed. If we say it is to dispel the assumption of prohibition rather than to establish permissibility, we can say the phrase is suitable for indicating either permissibility or recommendation. Do you understand?
The questioner : Unclear.
The Shaykh : It is not clear. Yes, I say that the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) sometimes use expressions that indicate permissibility to dispel the assumption of prohibition, not to establish the ruling of permissibility, meaning it is permissible. We give you an example to clarify. For instance, in the chapter on Hajj, they said, "It is permissible for the one performing Qiran or Ifrad to switch to 'Umrah to become a Mutamatti'." Some expressed it this way, even though the matter is a recommended practice. The author of "al-Furu'" said, "Perhaps they expressed it as permissible to dispel the opinion of those who say it is prohibited, so it does not contradict that it is recommended." Pay attention: they expressed it as permissible to dispel the opinion of those who say it is prohibited, and this does not contradict that it is recommended. The phrase we have here, "And he has a look", may be that the author expressed it in a way that indicates permissibility to dispel the assumption of prohibition, so it does not contradict that it is recommended. Therefore, we say it is recommended for one who wants to propose to a woman to look at what is apparent. It is recommended, not on the basis of permissibility, but on the basis of recommendation. If the author intended what I mentioned, which is dispelling the assumption of prohibition, there is no problem. If he intended to establish the ruling of permissibility, there is another opinion that the suitor's look at his prospective bride is on the basis of permissibility and not on the basis of recommendation. But the correct view is that it is on the basis of recommendation, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded the suitor to look at his prospective bride, especially if he suspects a defect in her. The Messenger commanded the suitor to look, sayingSunan an-Nasa'i 3247Sahih (Darussalam) This indicates that the one looking should scrutinize carefully when looking at his prospective bride. Also, among the benefits of the suitor looking at his prospective bride is that he enters the marriage with knowledge, and likewise the woman enters with knowledge, because the woman may assume the suitor is not as he actually is. She may assume a man is handsome, red-haired, or black-haired according to what pleases her, but if she looks at him and he is contrary to what she expected, then she has the right to refuse. Similarly, he may assume the woman he proposed to is beautiful and attractive, but then he sees her condition, and at that time he does not proceed with her. So looking at the prospective bride has a benefit for both parties, for the husband and the wife. But it has conditions, which we will mention, if Allah wills, in the future. And the summary of our research is first that the man chooses a woman who is religious, a stranger, a virgin, and fertile, without a mother. What did we delete from these descriptions?
The questioner : Without a mother.
The Shaykh : His saying "without a mother," we do not agree with this, and we say that a person does not choose one who has no mother over one who has a mother, but he returns to the descriptions he chooses according to what came in the Sunnah.
The questioner : A stranger, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Yes, a stranger, also a stranger, we deleted it. Yes?
The questioner : Unclear.
The Shaykh : It is not clear. Yes, I say that the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) sometimes use expressions that indicate permissibility to dispel the assumption of prohibition, not to establish the ruling of permissibility, meaning it is permissible. We give you an example to clarify. For instance, in the chapter on Hajj, they said, "It is permissible for the one performing Qiran or Ifrad to switch to 'Umrah to become a Mutamatti'." Some expressed it this way, even though the matter is a recommended practice. The author of "al-Furu'" said, "Perhaps they expressed it as permissible to dispel the opinion of those who say it is prohibited, so it does not contradict that it is recommended." Pay attention: they expressed it as permissible to dispel the opinion of those who say it is prohibited, and this does not contradict that it is recommended. The phrase we have here, "And he has a look", may be that the author expressed it in a way that indicates permissibility to dispel the assumption of prohibition, so it does not contradict that it is recommended. Therefore, we say it is recommended for one who wants to propose to a woman to look at what is apparent. It is recommended, not on the basis of permissibility, but on the basis of recommendation. If the author intended what I mentioned, which is dispelling the assumption of prohibition, there is no problem. If he intended to establish the ruling of permissibility, there is another opinion that the suitor's look at his prospective bride is on the basis of permissibility and not on the basis of recommendation. But the correct view is that it is on the basis of recommendation, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded the suitor to look at his prospective bride, especially if he suspects a defect in her. The Messenger commanded the suitor to look, saying
for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar.
فإن في أعين الأنصار شيئاThe questioner : Without a mother.
The Shaykh : His saying "without a mother," we do not agree with this, and we say that a person does not choose one who has no mother over one who has a mother, but he returns to the descriptions he chooses according to what came in the Sunnah.
The questioner : A stranger, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Yes, a stranger, also a stranger, we deleted it. Yes?