Explanation of the words of Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) regarding what he quoted: "
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "The Chapter on Advising Regarding Women": This means advising that a person should be gentle with them and fear Allah the Exalted in his treatment of them, because they are deficient and need someone to support them and complete them, as Allah the Exalted said:[An-Nisa 4:34].
Then the author cited as evidence the words of Allah the Exalted: And "living with" (mu'asharah): "means companionship and treatment; that a person treats her with kindness and accompanies her in the same manner".
And "kindness" (al-ma'ruf): "is what the Shari'ah has recognized and approved, and what custom has established". The criterion is what the Shari'ah has approved. If the Shari'ah approves something, it is kindness; and if it rejects something, it is evil, even if people recognize it.
And He said:[An-Nisa 4:129]: This address is for the one who has two wives or more. Allah Mighty and Majestic clarifies that a person cannot be just between women, even if he strives, because there are things that are beyond a person's control, such as affection, inclination, and the like, which reside in the heart. As for what is done with the body, it is possible to be just in it, such as being just in financial maintenance, and being just in treatment by allocating her night to this one and her night to that one, clothing, and the like. This is possible. But what is in the heart, a person cannot be just in it, because it is beyond his control. For this reason, Allah the Exalted said: [An-Nisa 4:129], meaning: You leave the woman whom you have inclined away from, : like one in suspension between the sky and the earth, with no stability. For when a woman sees that her husband has inclined toward her co-wife, she is greatly distressed, and her heart is preoccupied, so she becomes like one in suspension between the sky and the earth, with no stability.
Then he said:[An-Nisa 4:129]
These two verses, and others from the texts of the Book and the Sunnah, all indicate gentleness with women, attending to them, and living with them in the best manner. And that a person should not demand his full right from her, because it is not possible for her to fulfill it in a state of perfection. So let him be lenient and forgiving. And success is from Allah.
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "The Chapter on Advising Regarding Women": This means advising that a person should be gentle with them and fear Allah the Exalted in his treatment of them, because they are deficient and need someone to support them and complete them, as Allah the Exalted said:
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍThen the author cited as evidence the words of Allah the Exalted:
And live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِAnd "kindness" (al-ma'ruf): "is what the Shari'ah has recognized and approved, and what custom has established". The criterion is what the Shari'ah has approved. If the Shari'ah approves something, it is kindness; and if it rejects something, it is evil, even if people recognize it.
And He said:
And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]
وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمSo do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another
فَلا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَاlike one in suspension
كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِThen he said:
And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.
وَإِنْ تُصْلِحُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُوراً رَحِيماًThese two verses, and others from the texts of the Book and the Sunnah, all indicate gentleness with women, attending to them, and living with them in the best manner. And that a person should not demand his full right from her, because it is not possible for her to fulfill it in a state of perfection. So let him be lenient and forgiving. And success is from Allah.