The ruling on one who leans toward his other wife
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Question:
Your Eminence, this is our sister (M. N. H.) from Riyadh. She actually wrote a letter in her own style, mentioning that she is a wife with seven sons and a daughter. Her husband married another woman. She says: He consulted her about it, and she agreed only on the condition that he be just between her and her co-wife. He married, but he—she says—broke the covenant between us, which is justice. Therefore, he does not ask about his children, and he does not return the greeting when I greet him. He constantly threatens me with divorce, and he leans toward his other wife in all her matters.
Your Eminence, she asks: Is it obligatory for me to be patient in this, or should I complain about him to the Shari'ah or to the court?
May Allah reward you.
Answer:
It is obligatory for him to be just and to fear Allah the Exalted. This is what is obligatory for him: to be just between you in the division of time and in other matters. This is his obligation. If he does not be just, then you have the choice. If you wish, you can be patient and forgive him. If you wish, you can seek divorce. Say to him: "Divorce me or be just." If he refuses, take the matter to the court. Either he must be just, or he must divorce you, unless you are satisfied and patient, in which case there is no harm.
If he does not be just and does not divorce you, then you or your guardian may take the matter to the court to compel him to either divorce you or be just. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. Your Eminence, regarding the leaning of many husbands after they have taken multiple wives, is there a word of guidance for these men?
The Shaykh: It is obligatory for one who has two, three, or four wives to be just in the division of time and in other matters. This is the obligation, because Allah has made justice obligatory upon husbands. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to divide his time among his wives and be just. He said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2134 He used to divide his time among his women and be just, and he was the best of people and the most excellent of them (peace and blessings be upon him).
So it is obligatory for one who has two, three, or four wives to be just among them, and likewise in financial maintenance, unless one of them has more children, in which case he provides for her according to her need, according to the needs of her and her children. Each one is provided for according to her need and her children. He must divide his time among them equally in night and day, and he must fear Allah in being cheerful and having a pleasant face with each one. He should not frown at one and be cheerful with the other. He must fear Allah and watch over his relationship with Allah, because Allah says: [Al-Nisa: 19]. This is what is obligatory for him. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani).
So the obligation is justice or divorce. Either he must be just, or he must divorce, unless you forgive. You say: "I have forgiven him. It is fine if you come whenever you wish." There is no harm. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to divorce Sawdah, she said: "O Messenger of Allah, keep me in your household, and I am forgiving my right for the sake of A'ishah." So she waived her right, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) kept her. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
Your Eminence, this is our sister (M. N. H.) from Riyadh. She actually wrote a letter in her own style, mentioning that she is a wife with seven sons and a daughter. Her husband married another woman. She says: He consulted her about it, and she agreed only on the condition that he be just between her and her co-wife. He married, but he—she says—broke the covenant between us, which is justice. Therefore, he does not ask about his children, and he does not return the greeting when I greet him. He constantly threatens me with divorce, and he leans toward his other wife in all her matters.
Your Eminence, she asks: Is it obligatory for me to be patient in this, or should I complain about him to the Shari'ah or to the court?
May Allah reward you.
Answer:
It is obligatory for him to be just and to fear Allah the Exalted. This is what is obligatory for him: to be just between you in the division of time and in other matters. This is his obligation. If he does not be just, then you have the choice. If you wish, you can be patient and forgive him. If you wish, you can seek divorce. Say to him: "Divorce me or be just." If he refuses, take the matter to the court. Either he must be just, or he must divorce you, unless you are satisfied and patient, in which case there is no harm.
If he does not be just and does not divorce you, then you or your guardian may take the matter to the court to compel him to either divorce you or be just. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. Your Eminence, regarding the leaning of many husbands after they have taken multiple wives, is there a word of guidance for these men?
The Shaykh: It is obligatory for one who has two, three, or four wives to be just in the division of time and in other matters. This is the obligation, because Allah has made justice obligatory upon husbands. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to divide his time among his wives and be just. He said:
O Allah, this is my division concerning what I control, so do not blame me concerning what You control and I do not.
اللهم هذا قسمي فيما أملك، فلا تلمني فيما تملك ولا أملكSo it is obligatory for one who has two, three, or four wives to be just among them, and likewise in financial maintenance, unless one of them has more children, in which case he provides for her according to her need, according to the needs of her and her children. Each one is provided for according to her need and her children. He must divide his time among them equally in night and day, and he must fear Allah in being cheerful and having a pleasant face with each one. He should not frown at one and be cheerful with the other. He must fear Allah and watch over his relationship with Allah, because Allah says:
And live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِWhen a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كان له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلSo the obligation is justice or divorce. Either he must be just, or he must divorce, unless you forgive. You say: "I have forgiven him. It is fine if you come whenever you wish." There is no harm. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to divorce Sawdah, she said: "O Messenger of Allah, keep me in your household, and I am forgiving my right for the sake of A'ishah." So she waived her right, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) kept her. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.