What is the interpretation of the saying of Allah the Exalted: “And you will never be able to be just between your wives, even if you should try very hard…”
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The questioner : He says: I ask about the saying of Allah the Exalted in His Noble Book: [An-Nisa 4:129] What are the obligatory matters to be observed in being just between wives, and are there matters in which it is permissible to go beyond justice between them with their consent?
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for a husband who has several wives to divide between them with equality, so he does not prefer a young one over an older one, or a beautiful one over one who is not beautiful. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani)
Justice is obligatory in everything one is able to do, but there are things one is not able to do, which is the matter of affection. Indeed, a person cannot control affection, for it is in the heart. A person can only divide between the wives and be just in the apparent matters, such as lodging, financial maintenance, and the like.
And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]
ولن تستطيعوا أن تعدلوا بين النساء ولو حرصتمThe Shaykh : It is obligatory for a husband who has several wives to divide between them with equality, so he does not prefer a young one over an older one, or a beautiful one over one who is not beautiful. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
أنه من كان له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلJustice is obligatory in everything one is able to do, but there are things one is not able to do, which is the matter of affection. Indeed, a person cannot control affection, for it is in the heart. A person can only divide between the wives and be just in the apparent matters, such as lodging, financial maintenance, and the like.