The Ruling on Living with a Husband Who Does Not Pray or Fast

Q: This is a message we received from a sender who used the code name: Your sister in Allah, S. S. She says in her message: I am a woman in my forties with seven children: three whom Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) took to Himself, and four who are alive. My problem is summarized in several questions, the first of which is: I have been married for twenty years to a man who does not know prayer or fasting, and he drinks forbidden things like intoxicants and the like, may Allah protect us from that. Every time I try to get away from him, he tells me that he will repent, but it is only in words. And everyone I complain to about my situation says: Be patient for the sake of your children. I have been patient all these years for their sake, and now they have grown up and become men, and they are asking me for that, and they say: The house is their house and the father has no say in it. I am asking you now: Is there a sin on me for sitting with him or not? And also for my children sitting with him? Please inform us, may Allah reward you.

A: There is no doubt that abandoning prayer is disbelief, and there is no doubt that abandoning fasting is among the greatest of sins, and there is no doubt that drinking intoxicants is among the greatest of sins and major sins. So this man has combined disbelief with types of open sinfulness, and the greatest of that is abandoning prayer. It is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: These two hadiths are authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and both indicate that this man is a disbeliever with major shirk.
Some scholars said: He does not commit major shirk unless he denies the obligation, in which case he commits disbelief by the consensus of the scholars. But if he does not deny its obligation but abandons it out of laziness, then he does not commit major shirk for that, but he is considered a sinner committing a great sin, and a disbeliever with minor shirk.
Others among the scholars held that he commits major shirk by abandoning prayer, even if he does not deny its obligation. And this is the truth, and the correct view: that he commits major shirk by abandoning prayer, even if he does not deny its obligation.
So what I advise you and urge you to do is to keep away from him, and not to allow him access to yourself until he repents to Allah and returns to prayer.
The children are his children due to the doubt that is the doubt of marriage, and there is no doubt that his children are connected to him. But you remain in the house with your children, because they are grown up, and you keep away from him approaching you with intercourse or otherwise until he repents to Allah, and until he leaves his bad deeds, especially abandoning prayer. If he repents to Allah and prays, then there is no obstacle. And he must repent to Allah also from abandoning fasting, and from drinking intoxicants. And his sons must help him toward good, and advise him, and seek help in this from their good relatives, such as uncles and good cousins who help them in advising their father; perhaps Allah will guide him through their means. For among the greatest of dutifulness is that one advises and directs to good; perhaps Allah will guide him thereby. And perhaps he will hear these words of mine. And perhaps you will record them when you hear them and read them to him. So we ask Allah (Mighty and Majestic) for his guidance.
The conclusion is: that you must keep away from him, and he must not approach you until he repents to Allah from abandoning prayer. If he repents from abandoning prayer, then he is your husband. As for drinking intoxicants and abandoning fasting, they are two great sins, but they do not necessitate the invalidity of the marriage according to the scholars from the people of the Sunnah and the community.
And it is upon you, and your children, and his relatives, and the good among his neighbors to advise him. And he must fear Allah, and hasten to repent before his term comes.
And the evil of intoxicants is great. It is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he cursed the intoxicant, and its drinker, and its server, and its presser, and its presser, and its carrier, and the one to whom it is carried, and its seller, and its buyer, and the one who eats its price, may Allah protect us from that. And it is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: And this indicates weakness of faith, or absence of faith. We ask Allah for safety. And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: It was said: O Messenger of Allah, what is the mud of corruption? He said: Or he said: .
As for abandoning the fasting of Ramadan, it is a great matter; because the fasting of Ramadan is a pillar of the pillars of Islam. And some scholars held that one who abandons fasting intentionally commits disbelief. So he must repent to Allah, and fast Ramadan, and maintain the prayer. And whoever repents, Allah accepts his repentance.
We ask Allah for us, and for him, and for all Muslims, success toward sincere repentance, and guidance to the paths of good, and safety from obeying Satan, and from obeying bad companions.
And one should be advised to avoid bad companions and the company of the wicked, for the company of the wicked often drags one to the causes of corruption, and to the causes of the anger of Allah. So it is obligatory for him to beware of the company of the wicked, and to keep away from bad companions, and to repent to Allah from abandoning prayer and abandoning fasting, and from drinking intoxicants, and to be upright in the obedience of Allah and His Messenger. And Allah (Mighty and Majestic) says: [Ta-Ha: 82] And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: We ask Allah for us, and for him, and for you, and for all Muslims, guidance, success, and sincere repentance.