Guidance for one who does not act justly between his two wives

Question:
This is a question from a Muslim woman from Iraq, Diyala Governorate, who says: I am a married woman with four children, and my husband has married a second woman who also has children. The problem is that he does not treat us with justice; he has completely turned away from me, to the point where it is as if I do not exist in the house. My children are studying and need school expenses, but he does not provide them, and I am unable to ask him for them. For your information, we live in the same residence as the second wife. I fear for my children that they will be neglected due to his abandonment of everyone and his lack of concern. What is your opinion on this?

Answer:
It is obligatory for him to fear Allah; it is obligatory for the husband to fear Allah and to act justly. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Therefore, justice is obligatory in providing for them and in equal division between them. If he is unjust to the questioner, he commits a sin in doing so, unless he gives her the choice between divorce and patience. In that case, there is no blame on him. If he gives her the choice and she chooses to remain with him despite his injustice and lack of equity, there is no harm on him if he gave her the choice. However, if he prevents divorce and prevents justice, that is not permissible for him.
As for his children, he is responsible for their maintenance. It is absolutely obligatory for him, whether he divorces or not, to act justly toward his children, treat them well, and meet their needs according to his ability. If she is able to take something from his wealth for her needs, there is no harm in that. If she has money and the questioner is able to take something from his wealth without his knowledge, to the extent of her needs, in a good manner, for her children and herself, there is no blame on her. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he granted a dispensation to the wife of Abu Sufyan to take from his wealth, in a good manner, what suffices her and her children. So if she finds that he has wealth and is able to take from it something for herself and her children without his knowledge, in a good manner, without extravagance and without waste, there is no harm in that, if Allah wills. If she is unable to do so, she should contact his relatives, brothers, and those he respects and values, so that they may advise him and counsel him, perhaps he will be guided and perhaps he will fulfill his obligation.
She should also frequently ask Allah to guide him so that he may be successful in acting justly. If there is a judicial authority in personal status matters, she may bring the matter to him; there is no objection to bringing it to him so that he may compel him to act justly. However, if it is possible to achieve this through the reconcilers among his relatives, neighbors, and people he respects, that is preferable. Reconciliation between them through good brothers so that he may provide for them and act justly is preferable to complaining, safer, and closer to safety. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.

The presenter: O Allah, amen.