The Preference for Consulting the Father in Choosing a Wife
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Question:
In the last of this questioner's questions, he says: "Your Eminence, is it permissible for me to take my father's opinion in searching for a wife, without seeing her or knowing her?"
Answer:
It is better that you consult your father; this is part of good manners and dutifulness to parents. You should consult him about the woman you wish to propose to, saying: "My father, I would like to marry so-and-so." Consult with him and with people of good character who know her. Do not rush until you are reassured that she is good and righteous, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Bulugh al-Maram 8:5 You should ask about her religion, her character, and what encourages you to marry her, so that you proceed with insight.
It is recommended for you to look at her, if the opportunity to see her arises, you may look at her with the permission of her family, or without their permission, if the opportunity to see her arises, even without the permission of her family, from a window, from a door, or from another direction, while she is in the pasture, without being in seclusion. Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "He proposed to a woman, and he kept hiding until he saw her." And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 6:1350 And he said to a man who had married a woman: He said: No. He said: .
The point is: looking at her is recommended if it is possible, even without her knowledge, but without being alone with her, such as looking at her from a distance while she is with her sheep, or in a gathering at her family's home, or something similar.
The presenter: May Allah reward you and bless you.
In the last of this questioner's questions, he says: "Your Eminence, is it permissible for me to take my father's opinion in searching for a wife, without seeing her or knowing her?"
Answer:
It is better that you consult your father; this is part of good manners and dutifulness to parents. You should consult him about the woman you wish to propose to, saying: "My father, I would like to marry so-and-so." Consult with him and with people of good character who know her. Do not rush until you are reassured that she is good and righteous, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
A woman is married for four qualities, for her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion: so get the religious one and prosper.
تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها، ولجمالها، ولحسبها، ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداكIt is recommended for you to look at her, if the opportunity to see her arises, you may look at her with the permission of her family, or without their permission, if the opportunity to see her arises, even without the permission of her family, from a window, from a door, or from another direction, while she is in the pasture, without being in seclusion. Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "He proposed to a woman, and he kept hiding until he saw her." And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
If one of you proposes to a woman, and if he is able to look at what would incline him to marry her, let him do so.
إذا خطب أحدكم المرأة فإن استطاع أن ينظر منها إلى ما يدعوه إلى نكاحها فليفعلHave you looked at her?
أنظرت إليها؟Go and look at her
اذهب فانظر إليهاThe point is: looking at her is recommended if it is possible, even without her knowledge, but without being alone with her, such as looking at her from a distance while she is with her sheep, or in a gathering at her family's home, or something similar.
The presenter: May Allah reward you and bless you.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.