Ruling on Disobeying the Mother’s Wish Regarding the Naming of the Child
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Question:
Our brother the questioner, in truth, wrote a long letter. Your brother (N. Y. M) summarizes it, Your Eminence the Shaykh, by saying:
That he lives in his parents’ house with his wife and daughter for five years. He says:
First: I take the opportunity of my presence to please my father and mother.
And second: I do not have a house, and I am very comfortable, and there are no obstacles before me, praise be to Allah, except for one problem, which is: that I named my first daughter according to the mother’s wish, and it is a beautiful name, and I am pleased with it, and I thank Allah for that.
As for the second—the second daughter—my mother put me in a difficult position until I named her with a name I do not like, and no one else likes it. The problem is that I registered her name at the civil registry with a name I like, which is very beautiful, and it is from the names of the female Companions, and there is no harm in it before people or the Shari'ah. In the house, I call her by the name my mother wished for, and no one knows the truth except my wife. Your Eminence the Shaykh, am I a sinner or have I done wrong before Allah? And what must I do?
Knowing that I live with my father and mother, and they are in dire need of me, and I am afraid that if they find out the truth, they will be angry with me. Guide us, Your Eminence the Shaykh.
Answer:
You have done well in what you did to please your mother. The name written is the one that is relied upon and established in official offices; it is the one that is relied upon. And if you please your mother by naming her with the name she wished for, there is no harm—may Allah will it—if the name the mother wished for is not suitable, not good, and not fitting for her to be named with it, then you are seeking the benefit of your daughter and not naming her with a name that harms her and ruins her reputation. But if you please your mother by concealing that, the matter in this is easy—may Allah will it—if the name you named her with is suitable, and the name your mother mentioned has no religious prohibition, then there is no blame.
As for if the name your mother mentioned is a name that is not suitable and not befitting religiously, then leaving it is obligatory; because obedience is in what is right. The mother is not obeyed in disobedience, nor the father in disobedience; rather, obedience is in what is right. But if she requested a name with no religious harm, then if you name her with it, there is no harm. And if you see what is better, you name her with another name and conceal it from your mother; because you see it as better for the girl, then there is no harm in that—may Allah will it. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, Your Eminence the Shaykh. I say, Your Eminence the Shaykh: Choosing good names, and some people choosing some names that may have difficulty in them, and then we find them hesitating after these children grow up, and they want to change them. Perhaps you have a word or guidance regarding the choice of names, Your Eminence the Shaykh.
The Shaykh: It is prescribed for the father and mother to seek out good names; because a person is called by his name on the Day of Resurrection by his father’s name. So it is prescribed for the father and mother to seek out good names for their sons and daughters, and to fear Allah in that. This is the obligatory duty for everyone, and it is prescribed for everyone to seek out suitable names. But it is not permissible to make a slave of other than Allah in names. It is not said: Abd al-Ka'bah, or Abd al-Nabi, or Abd al-Lat, or Abd al-Uzza, or Abd Zayd. What is called making a slave of other than Allah. But they seek out suitable names: Muhammad, Salih, Ahmad, Zayd, So-and-so, Ibrahim. The names have no prohibition. And so the names of women: Aisha, Maryam, Fatimah, Zaynab, Khadijah... and other such good names. And if he names her with a name that is not harmful and is customary among his community, there is no harm.
The point is: that there is no dispute in names, except what is made a slave of other than Allah, which is not permissible, or what contains self-praise, such as naming her with something that means self-praise of the Prophet, other than the name Bara, and other than this. He said:Sunan Abi Dawud 4953Hasan Sahih (Al-Albani) Or an ugly name is changed. If her name is Asiya, its name is changed from Asiya to Muti'a, or to Zaynab, or to Maryam. That is, ugly names, if he changes them, there is no harm.
So the point is: that the believer, from the father and mother, chooses the good name for his son and daughter. The father and mother choose good names. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
Our brother the questioner, in truth, wrote a long letter. Your brother (N. Y. M) summarizes it, Your Eminence the Shaykh, by saying:
That he lives in his parents’ house with his wife and daughter for five years. He says:
First: I take the opportunity of my presence to please my father and mother.
And second: I do not have a house, and I am very comfortable, and there are no obstacles before me, praise be to Allah, except for one problem, which is: that I named my first daughter according to the mother’s wish, and it is a beautiful name, and I am pleased with it, and I thank Allah for that.
As for the second—the second daughter—my mother put me in a difficult position until I named her with a name I do not like, and no one else likes it. The problem is that I registered her name at the civil registry with a name I like, which is very beautiful, and it is from the names of the female Companions, and there is no harm in it before people or the Shari'ah. In the house, I call her by the name my mother wished for, and no one knows the truth except my wife. Your Eminence the Shaykh, am I a sinner or have I done wrong before Allah? And what must I do?
Knowing that I live with my father and mother, and they are in dire need of me, and I am afraid that if they find out the truth, they will be angry with me. Guide us, Your Eminence the Shaykh.
Answer:
You have done well in what you did to please your mother. The name written is the one that is relied upon and established in official offices; it is the one that is relied upon. And if you please your mother by naming her with the name she wished for, there is no harm—may Allah will it—if the name the mother wished for is not suitable, not good, and not fitting for her to be named with it, then you are seeking the benefit of your daughter and not naming her with a name that harms her and ruins her reputation. But if you please your mother by concealing that, the matter in this is easy—may Allah will it—if the name you named her with is suitable, and the name your mother mentioned has no religious prohibition, then there is no blame.
As for if the name your mother mentioned is a name that is not suitable and not befitting religiously, then leaving it is obligatory; because obedience is in what is right. The mother is not obeyed in disobedience, nor the father in disobedience; rather, obedience is in what is right. But if she requested a name with no religious harm, then if you name her with it, there is no harm. And if you see what is better, you name her with another name and conceal it from your mother; because you see it as better for the girl, then there is no harm in that—may Allah will it. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, Your Eminence the Shaykh. I say, Your Eminence the Shaykh: Choosing good names, and some people choosing some names that may have difficulty in them, and then we find them hesitating after these children grow up, and they want to change them. Perhaps you have a word or guidance regarding the choice of names, Your Eminence the Shaykh.
The Shaykh: It is prescribed for the father and mother to seek out good names; because a person is called by his name on the Day of Resurrection by his father’s name. So it is prescribed for the father and mother to seek out good names for their sons and daughters, and to fear Allah in that. This is the obligatory duty for everyone, and it is prescribed for everyone to seek out suitable names. But it is not permissible to make a slave of other than Allah in names. It is not said: Abd al-Ka'bah, or Abd al-Nabi, or Abd al-Lat, or Abd al-Uzza, or Abd Zayd. What is called making a slave of other than Allah. But they seek out suitable names: Muhammad, Salih, Ahmad, Zayd, So-and-so, Ibrahim. The names have no prohibition. And so the names of women: Aisha, Maryam, Fatimah, Zaynab, Khadijah... and other such good names. And if he names her with a name that is not harmful and is customary among his community, there is no harm.
The point is: that there is no dispute in names, except what is made a slave of other than Allah, which is not permissible, or what contains self-praise, such as naming her with something that means self-praise of the Prophet, other than the name Bara, and other than this. He said:
for Allah knows best those of you who are obedient
الله أعلم بأهل البر منكمSo the point is: that the believer, from the father and mother, chooses the good name for his son and daughter. The father and mother choose good names. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.