The Meaning of the Hadith: “Patience is only at the first shock”

Question:
A message from the listening sister (S. S.) from al-Madinah al-Munawwarah, containing a collection of questions. In one of her questions, she says: I heard a hadith among what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: What is the meaning of that?

Answer:
This is an authentic hadith. He saw a woman weeping over a child, so he advised her. She said: “Leave me alone, for you have not been afflicted with a loss like mine.” When she was informed that he was the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), she went to his house but found no doorman at his door. She asked permission to enter and told him that she had not known who he was. So he (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: This means: the patience that brings reward and recompense is what occurs at the first instance of a calamity, whether it is the death of a relative, an illness, or a sudden event that harms a person. One must be patient and seek reward from Allah, not panic, not speak ill, and not do what is not appropriate at the first shock. One is rewarded for that.
As for if one does what is not appropriate and then becomes patient afterwards, that is what is not beneficial. Patience is necessary; it will occur, and one will be consoled afterwards if the period is long. The patience of animals is not beneficial. The patience that brings great reward is at the first shock, at the very beginning when the calamity strikes, whether it is death or otherwise. One endures it, does not panic, does not wail, does not tear one’s hair, does not tear one’s clothes, and does not raise one’s voice in lamentation. This is how patience is. Rather, one endures and asks one’s Lord for success, and says: “Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we return. Allah has decreed and what He willed has happened.” One does not panic, does not do what is not appropriate, and does not say what is not appropriate. Yes.

The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.