Explanation of the words of Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) regarding what he quoted: "

The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) said, in what he quoted from Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him): , and she loved him intensely, so she could not control herself and went out to his grave to weep at it. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw her, he ordered her to fear Allah and be patient. He said to her: : meaning, leave me alone, go away from me. : and this indicates that the affliction had reached a great extent with her. So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) turned away from her. Then it was said to her: "This is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)." So she regretted it and came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) at his door, and there were no doorkeepers at the door, meaning there was no one there preventing people from entering upon him (peace and blessings be upon him). So she informed him: : The patience for which a person is rewarded is that he be patient at the first shock, when the affliction first strikes him. This is the patience. As for patience after that, it may be mere consolation, as beasts console themselves. So true patience is that when a person is struck, at the very first moment he is struck, he is patient and seeks reward from Allah. And it is good for him to say: "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we return. O Allah, reward me in my affliction and replace for me something better than it."
In this hadith, there are several benefits. First: the good character of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his calling to truth and goodness. For when he saw this woman weeping at the grave, he ordered her to fear Allah and be patient. And when she said: : he did not take revenge for himself, nor did he strike her, nor did he force her by strength. Because he knew that she was afflicted with a grief that she could not control. For this reason, she went out of her house to weep at this grave. If someone were to ask: Is not visiting graves forbidden for women? We say: Yes, it is forbidden for women. In fact, it is one of the major sins. Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: . But this woman did not go out for the purpose of visiting; rather, she went out because of the pain of parting with this boy and the intense grief in her heart. She could not control herself from coming. For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) excused her, did not force her by strength, and did not compel her to return to her house.
And among the benefits of this hadith: a person is excused for ignorance, whether it is ignorance of the legal ruling or ignorance of the situation. For this woman said to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): go away from me, even though he was ordering her to do good, to fear Allah, and to be patient. But she did not know that he was the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) excused her.
And among them: it is not befitting for a person who is asked about the needs of the Muslims to place a doorkeeper at his house to prevent people, if the people need him. Except if the person fears the crowding of people, the fatigue of people, and the occupation of people with something that they can attend to at another time. In that case, there is no harm. And permission (to enter) was not established except for the sake of looking and for the sake of a person managing his house by admitting whom he wishes and preventing whom he wishes.
And among the benefits of this hadith: the patience that is praised for its doer is the patience that is at the first shock. A person is patient, seeks reward, and knows that to Allah belongs what He takes and to Him belongs what He gives, and that everything with Him is by a specified term.
And among them, from the benefits of this hadith: weeping at the grave contradicts patience. For this reason, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: . And there are people who are tested, so when one of their relatives dies, they keep going back and forth to his grave and weeping at it. And this contradicts patience. Rather, we say: if you wish to benefit this deceased, call upon Allah for him while you are in your house. There is no need to keep going back and forth to the grave. Because going back and forth to the grave makes a person always imagine this deceased in his mind and not let him go out of his mind. And in that case, he never forgets the affliction, even though it is better for a person to distract himself and forget the affliction as much as he is able. And success is from Allah.