How to avoid the trial of wives and children?

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Question:
There are verses in the Noble Qur'an that speak of our children and our women as a trial. If a man feels that his wife distracts him from the remembrance of Allah, and wants him constantly by her side, which makes his effort in da'wah and in acquiring knowledge small; but at the same time she prays, fasts, and guards his wealth and her honor, what is the way to rectify her situation? And if there is no rectification, should I divorce her to preserve my religion and my effort in the path of Allah? Knowing that I have a child from her.

Answer:

For every disease there is a cure

لكل داء له دواء

My son, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, if the wife is righteous and good, she will not distract you, if Allah wills, from good; she only distracts you if she is not righteous.
As for the righteous wife, if you explain your needs to her, she will excuse you and be content. The Lord, (Exalted and Majestic is He), says:

indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them

إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ

[al-Taghabun:14]. If the wife helps you in sins, and the child helps you in sins and prevents you from the obligatory, these are enemies; oppose them and strive against them until you are safe from their evil. And He, (Glorified and Exalted is He), says:

your properties and your children are but a trial

إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ

[al-Taghabun:15], meaning: a test. This trial is a test and an examination. Allah tested people with their children and their wealth. If they obey their children in falsehood, and obey their wealth and occupy themselves with it in falsehood; this is evil for them. And if they use the wealth in what benefits them, and in obedience to Allah; it becomes good for them. And so it is with children. If you comply with them in falsehood, and take their opinion in falsehood and what is forbidden; they become evil for you and an enemy to you. And if you take hold of their hands, and strive against them for the sake of Allah, and teach them good, and prevent them from evil; you become a cause of their happiness, and a cause of their salvation, and you are safe from their evil and their trial.
The trial: the test and the examination. Wealth is a trial, and the child is a trial. So beware of this trial, and use it to help you in obedience to Allah, and beware that wealth or children turn you away from obedience to Allah, as Allah the Exalted said:

But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you.

وَابْتَغِ فِيمَا آتَاكَ اللَّهُ الدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ وَلا تَنْسَ نَصِيبَكَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا وَأَحْسِنْ كَمَا أَحْسَنَ اللَّهُ إِلَيْكَ

[al-Qasas:77].
The righteous, obedient wife who obeys Allah is not to be divorced; rather, she is to be honored, cared for, and retained. And if she wants you to stay with her, that is from her love for you, and her concern for you. So convince her of the things she needs, until she goes to prayer, goes to seek knowledge, goes to call to Allah, and goes to the public interests. Convince her and explain the benefits to her; so that she is on clear evidence, and so that she is convinced of your good goal, and your beautiful deeds.

Source binbaz.org.sa

The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.

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