The Ruling on a Woman Intervening When a Husband Disciplines His Children

Question:
Is it permissible for a woman to speak to her husband if he disciplines his children?

Answer:
There is no harm in her intervening in the matter if the husband is excessive in his discipline and lacks insight into proper discipline, but she should do so with wisdom, using a good manner and kind words, not with harshness or severity, nor with methods that would lead to his separation from her, or his cursing her, or the like.
As for his disciplining them with good and appropriate discipline, she should not intervene in that, because this would spoil the children for him. Rather, she should support him in that, pray for him, encourage him, and be of assistance to him in disciplining them in a way that benefits them and deters them from evil. However, some fathers may be very excessive! They place discipline where it does not belong, disciplining for trivial matters with many things. If she intervenes in this situation in a good way, or with a good manner, without causing him to deviate or spoiling the children for him, but rather with a good manner, or at another time when the children are not present, at another time it would be safer and better.
May Allah except if it is a major matter that cannot be tolerated; then she may intervene in their presence. But if it is possible for her intervention to be at another time when the children are not present, in a private matter between her and him, she says to him: such and such, and O so-and-so, such and such. Discipline should be of such and such a nature, by way of advice and cooperation in good; then there is no harm.
As for if their discipline is appropriate and in its proper place, or discipline that has not exceeded the limits, then she should support him in that, encouraging him in that in the presence of his children, and in the absence of his children.