The ruling on forcing a daughter to marry someone she rejects
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Question:
My cousin proposed to marry my daughter. He is already married, has seven children, and is forty years old. His wife, the mother of his children, is also my cousin, meaning that he and his wife are both my cousins. My wife refuses to consent to his marriage, and so does my daughter. Please note that he is a suitable man in terms of his religion and character.
Please issue a ruling on whether I should force my wife and daughter to consent to marrying him. Please note that their refusal to marry him is due to the very bad character of his wife, from whom they fear sorcery and various forms of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). Also, if I do not consent to his marriage, there will be a severance of family ties. Please advise us in detail about this matter, and may Allah reward you.
Answer:
You have no right to marry her off without her permission. You have no right to force your daughter to marry him, even if he were the best of people, and even if he did not have a wife. You have no right to force her to marry him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 6970 They said: O Messenger of Allah, how is her permission? He said: . He said: .
If she says yes, or remains silent, then marry her to him. But you must not force her. Even if your cousin becomes angry with you, or even if he cuts off ties with you, he is the one who commits the sin. If he cuts off ties with you because you did not force your daughter to marry him, he is the one who commits the sin. You bear no sin. He is the one who disobeys, meaning he wants you to force your daughter to marry him. No, that is not permissible. Marry her to a good man whom she is pleased with, whether he has wives or not, whether he is old or young.
If the daughter is pleased and consents, that is the objective. If Allah guides her mother and she consents, that is better and better. Consult with her mother and take the steps that will make her mother pleased, because if her mother is not pleased, she may spoil your marriage for you, or cause confusion for her, or the marriage may not be completed afterwards, because the daughter usually follows her mother. So if she is pleased today, she may not be pleased tomorrow because of her mother.
But strive not to marry her off until she is pleased and her mother is pleased. As for her own consent, it is necessary. As for her mother’s consent, it is better if it is possible, so that there is no confusion for them after the marriage, or before the marriage.
My cousin proposed to marry my daughter. He is already married, has seven children, and is forty years old. His wife, the mother of his children, is also my cousin, meaning that he and his wife are both my cousins. My wife refuses to consent to his marriage, and so does my daughter. Please note that he is a suitable man in terms of his religion and character.
Please issue a ruling on whether I should force my wife and daughter to consent to marrying him. Please note that their refusal to marry him is due to the very bad character of his wife, from whom they fear sorcery and various forms of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). Also, if I do not consent to his marriage, there will be a severance of family ties. Please advise us in detail about this matter, and may Allah reward you.
Answer:
You have no right to marry her off without her permission. You have no right to force your daughter to marry him, even if he were the best of people, and even if he did not have a wife. You have no right to force her to marry him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
A lady slave should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is granted.
لا تنكح الأيم حتى تستأمر ولا تنكح البكر حتى تستأذنThat she remains silent.
أن تسكتAnd the father of a virgin girl seeks her permission, and her permission is her silence
والبكر يستأذنها أبوها وإذنها صماتهاIf she says yes, or remains silent, then marry her to him. But you must not force her. Even if your cousin becomes angry with you, or even if he cuts off ties with you, he is the one who commits the sin. If he cuts off ties with you because you did not force your daughter to marry him, he is the one who commits the sin. You bear no sin. He is the one who disobeys, meaning he wants you to force your daughter to marry him. No, that is not permissible. Marry her to a good man whom she is pleased with, whether he has wives or not, whether he is old or young.
If the daughter is pleased and consents, that is the objective. If Allah guides her mother and she consents, that is better and better. Consult with her mother and take the steps that will make her mother pleased, because if her mother is not pleased, she may spoil your marriage for you, or cause confusion for her, or the marriage may not be completed afterwards, because the daughter usually follows her mother. So if she is pleased today, she may not be pleased tomorrow because of her mother.
But strive not to marry her off until she is pleased and her mother is pleased. As for her own consent, it is necessary. As for her mother’s consent, it is better if it is possible, so that there is no confusion for them after the marriage, or before the marriage.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.