The Ruling on a Daughter’s Marriage Without Her Mother’s Consent
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Question:
A lengthy letter was received by the program from one of the female listeners. The sender (E. Y. Z. H.) The letter consists of three pages. Our sister’s problem is that her cousin proposed to marry her, and everyone agreed except her mother, who did not agree due to old grudges between the two families. She asks the Shaykh for guidance regarding the guardians in this matter. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is obligatory for the woman’s guardians, her mother, and her relatives to agree if a suitable suitor proposes to her. A suitable suitor is one who is upright in his religion. They must agree to this; because it was reported from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1084Da'if (Darussalam) And in the other wording: And because a woman is in danger if she sits without a husband, and she is of marriageable age, especially in this era, for the danger is greater.
So it is obligatory for the guardians, the woman’s mother, her grandmother, and her sisters to facilitate this matter, to make things easy, and not to be strict if the suitor is acceptable in his religion and there is no harm in him. If the mother refuses and does not consent, there is no barrier to her being married without her permission if the father agrees and the husband is acceptable. She should seek her mother’s forgiveness to the best of her ability, even after the marriage.
The presenter: Even after the marriage.
The Shaykh: Even after the marriage; because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) says:Sunan Abi Dawud 2625Sahih (Al-Albani) Thus the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: Sunan Abi Dawud 2625Sahih (Al-Albani) And he says: Mishkat al-Masabih 3696.
And leaving marriage when marriage is facilitated, and a suitor is present, is either a sin or extremely disliked, and the closer view is that it is a sin; because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3080 And she was able to do so, and Allah facilitated marriage for her, and her father—meaning her father—was pleased. So it is obligatory to hasten and rush to this good, out of concern for the chastity of the private parts and lowering the gaze, and Allah is the Helper. Yes.
The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
A lengthy letter was received by the program from one of the female listeners. The sender (E. Y. Z. H.) The letter consists of three pages. Our sister’s problem is that her cousin proposed to marry her, and everyone agreed except her mother, who did not agree due to old grudges between the two families. She asks the Shaykh for guidance regarding the guardians in this matter. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
It is obligatory for the woman’s guardians, her mother, and her relatives to agree if a suitable suitor proposes to her. A suitable suitor is one who is upright in his religion. They must agree to this; because it was reported from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:
When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad).
إذا خطب إليكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه، إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض، وفساد كبيرand great corruption
وفساد عريضSo it is obligatory for the guardians, the woman’s mother, her grandmother, and her sisters to facilitate this matter, to make things easy, and not to be strict if the suitor is acceptable in his religion and there is no harm in him. If the mother refuses and does not consent, there is no barrier to her being married without her permission if the father agrees and the husband is acceptable. She should seek her mother’s forgiveness to the best of her ability, even after the marriage.
The presenter: Even after the marriage.
The Shaykh: Even after the marriage; because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) says:
Obedience is in matters which are good and universally recognized.
إنما الطاعة في المعروفObedience is in matters which are good and universally recognized.
إنما الطاعة في المعروفA creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the "Creator.”
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالقAnd leaving marriage when marriage is facilitated, and a suitor is present, is either a sin or extremely disliked, and the closer view is that it is a sin; because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality
يا معشر الشباب، من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغض للبصر، وأحصن للفرجThe presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.