The Ruling on a Woman Refusing Marriage and the Ruling on Forcing Her to Marry
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Question:
If a man has a daughter and many men of known religious righteousness have proposed to her—and we do not praise anyone beyond what is known to Allah—but the daughter refuses marriage and says, "I will never marry," should her father accede to her request?
Answer:
Marriage requires the consent of both the wife and the husband; one of the conditions of the marriage contract is that they both agree to it. A male child who has reached the age of accountability must not be forced to marry, nor must a daughter be forced. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 6970 They asked, "O Messenger of Allah, how does she give her consent?" He said: In another version, he said: If she refuses and does not agree to marriage, her guardian has no right to force her, whether he is her father or anyone else; because the need is hers, and she knows herself best. There may be a barrier to marriage in her that her family does not know about.
The intended meaning : She must not be forced, but she should be advised. When a suitable match comes, she should be advised and shown that this is what is appropriate, and that it is obligatory for her to hasten to marriage for the sake of protecting her chastity, lowering her gaze, having children, and increasing the Muslim community, among other benefits.
The man who is not inclined to marriage should also be advised and directed toward good, so that perhaps he will accept. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3080 This is the hadith. And Allah the Exalted says: [Al-Nur: 32], and He says: [Al-Nisa: 3], the verse.
The intended meaning : Marriage is sought by both men and women; indeed, it is obligatory for one who has the ability and the desire for marriage and can afford to marry. It is obligatory for a young woman to marry when a suitable match comes; she has no right to make excuses, but she must not be forced, because she knows herself best. What is obligatory for her from the perspective of Allah is to marry, to guard her chastity, and to lower her gaze. The same applies to the young man, and likewise to the older man.
However, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned young men because they are generally stronger in desire than others, and the danger for them is greater. Otherwise, an older man who has desire is also obligated to marry, and he has no right to be lax in this matter. Some scholars said: If he fears the danger, it is obligatory for him; otherwise, it is not. But the apparent meaning of the text is that it is obligatory for him as long as he has desire and is able.
If a man has a daughter and many men of known religious righteousness have proposed to her—and we do not praise anyone beyond what is known to Allah—but the daughter refuses marriage and says, "I will never marry," should her father accede to her request?
Answer:
Marriage requires the consent of both the wife and the husband; one of the conditions of the marriage contract is that they both agree to it. A male child who has reached the age of accountability must not be forced to marry, nor must a daughter be forced. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
A lady slave should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is granted.
لا تنكح الأيم حتى تستأمر، ولا تنكح البكر حتى تستأذنThat she remains silent.
أن تسكتTheir permission is their silence.
إذنها صماتهاThe intended meaning : She must not be forced, but she should be advised. When a suitable match comes, she should be advised and shown that this is what is appropriate, and that it is obligatory for her to hasten to marriage for the sake of protecting her chastity, lowering her gaze, having children, and increasing the Muslim community, among other benefits.
The man who is not inclined to marriage should also be advised and directed toward good, so that perhaps he will accept. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality
يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرجAnd marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty
وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِthen marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four
فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَThe intended meaning : Marriage is sought by both men and women; indeed, it is obligatory for one who has the ability and the desire for marriage and can afford to marry. It is obligatory for a young woman to marry when a suitable match comes; she has no right to make excuses, but she must not be forced, because she knows herself best. What is obligatory for her from the perspective of Allah is to marry, to guard her chastity, and to lower her gaze. The same applies to the young man, and likewise to the older man.
However, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned young men because they are generally stronger in desire than others, and the danger for them is greater. Otherwise, an older man who has desire is also obligated to marry, and he has no right to be lax in this matter. Some scholars said: If he fears the danger, it is obligatory for him; otherwise, it is not. But the apparent meaning of the text is that it is obligatory for him as long as he has desire and is able.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.