A woman afflicted with excessive intrusive thoughts regarding ritual purity and prayer: is there any advice for her? And as a result of these intrusive thoughts, she angered her husband, and he uttered the words of divorce with the intention of...
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The questioner : The second question says: I have a wife who is prone to excessive doubt and intrusive thoughts. She performs the ablution several times and spends a long time in the ablution, using a lot of water as well. She also repeats the prayer more than three or four times. I have tried very hard to advise her. Sometimes I get angry at her actions and speak to her harshly, and there is conflict between us. It is possible that this will lead to separation between us, knowing that we have children. I ask you to guide her and direct her to the path of truth in this matter. The word "divorce" has come out of my mouth several times, but I do not intend to divorce her; I only threaten her. What is the ruling in this case?
The Shaykh : First, we advise this woman to leave these intrusive thoughts, to seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, and to consider that she has fulfilled her obligation by doing what is obligatory for her the first time. She should not say, "Perhaps I did not do it well" or "Perhaps I did not complete it." If she performs the ablution once, she should leave the place of ablution and consider that her matter is finished and her ablution is complete. She should not pay attention to the intrusive thoughts that say she did not complete the ablution. Even if she leaves the place of ablution while believing that she did not complete the ablution, she has completed it. We say the same regarding the prayer. She must fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) in herself and in her worship, and seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan.
As for your advice to her, you are to be thanked for that. And thus it is befitting for a person to be a shepherd to his family, guiding them to what is good and warding off evil.
As for the divorce that occurred from you regarding her, you did not mention the formula by which you pronounced the divorce or what you said. Therefore, we cannot give a specific answer. However, we say in general: if you said to her, "If you repeat the ablution or the prayer or something similar, you are divorced," and you intended by that to threaten her and prevent her, not to effect the divorce upon her, then in such a case, if she defies you, she is not divorced. But you must pay the expiation for an oath, as Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said:[Al-Ma'idah 5:89] And if you intended by your saying, "If you do such and such, you are divorced," that the divorce should take effect upon her, then if she does it, she is divorced. May Allah grant success.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The questioner, A.H.B. from Sudan, sent two questions.
The Shaykh : First, we advise this woman to leave these intrusive thoughts, to seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, and to consider that she has fulfilled her obligation by doing what is obligatory for her the first time. She should not say, "Perhaps I did not do it well" or "Perhaps I did not complete it." If she performs the ablution once, she should leave the place of ablution and consider that her matter is finished and her ablution is complete. She should not pay attention to the intrusive thoughts that say she did not complete the ablution. Even if she leaves the place of ablution while believing that she did not complete the ablution, she has completed it. We say the same regarding the prayer. She must fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) in herself and in her worship, and seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan.
As for your advice to her, you are to be thanked for that. And thus it is befitting for a person to be a shepherd to his family, guiding them to what is good and warding off evil.
As for the divorce that occurred from you regarding her, you did not mention the formula by which you pronounced the divorce or what you said. Therefore, we cannot give a specific answer. However, we say in general: if you said to her, "If you repeat the ablution or the prayer or something similar, you are divorced," and you intended by that to threaten her and prevent her, not to effect the divorce upon her, then in such a case, if she defies you, she is not divorced. But you must pay the expiation for an oath, as Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said:
So its expiation is the feeding of ten needy people from the average of that which you feed your [own] families or clothing them or the freeing of a slave. But whoever cannot find [or afford it] - then a fast of three days
فكفارة إطعام عشرة مساكين من أوسط ما تطعمون ما تطعمون أهليكم أو كسوتهن أو تحرير رقبة فمن لم يجد فصيام ثلاثة أيامThe questioner : May Allah bless you.
The questioner, A.H.B. from Sudan, sent two questions.