Some people refrain from their wives when they intend to travel, and likewise when they return
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Fatwa number ( 1270 )
Q: It has been heard that many married men, when they are away from their families or intend to travel from them, do not face their wives when they depart or when they return. However, the questioner himself faces his wife and bids her farewell when he travels, and likewise faces her when he returns from his trip, as is the custom between a husband and wife. He asks: Is there any blame in this, or not?
A: What you mentioned, that many husbands do not face their wives or bid them farewell when they travel, and do not face them when they return from their trip—this has no basis in the Shari'ah. Adhering to this custom and considering it a religion is among the religious innovations (bid'ah) that should be abandoned. However, it is recommended (mustahabb) for a person, when returning from a long journey, not to surprise his family at night, nor to surprise his wife by entering the house unannounced; lest he find in her what he dislikes, or find in her what repels him from her. Rather, he should wait until she learns of his arrival so that she can prepare for him. This is part of good conduct in marriage and the etiquettes of marital life, and it is more conducive to its preservation and maintenance. It is authentically narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he forbade a man from surprising his family at night. He said (peace and blessings be upon him):Bulugh al-Maram 8:61 And Jabir ibn 'Abd Allah
(may Allah be pleased with them both) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3904 Thus, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clarified that the wisdom behind forbidding one who returns from a long journey from entering his wife's house unannounced is that she may be able to prepare and adorn herself for him, and that he may not find in her what he dislikes or what repels him. Therefore, if he writes to them before his return specifying the time of his arrival from his trip, he may enter upon them at any hour he wishes upon his arrival, as it would not be considered a surprise or an unannounced entry. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: It has been heard that many married men, when they are away from their families or intend to travel from them, do not face their wives when they depart or when they return. However, the questioner himself faces his wife and bids her farewell when he travels, and likewise faces her when he returns from his trip, as is the custom between a husband and wife. He asks: Is there any blame in this, or not?
A: What you mentioned, that many husbands do not face their wives or bid them farewell when they travel, and do not face them when they return from their trip—this has no basis in the Shari'ah. Adhering to this custom and considering it a religion is among the religious innovations (bid'ah) that should be abandoned. However, it is recommended (mustahabb) for a person, when returning from a long journey, not to surprise his family at night, nor to surprise his wife by entering the house unannounced; lest he find in her what he dislikes, or find in her what repels him from her. Rather, he should wait until she learns of his arrival so that she can prepare for him. This is part of good conduct in marriage and the etiquettes of marital life, and it is more conducive to its preservation and maintenance. It is authentically narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he forbade a man from surprising his family at night. He said (peace and blessings be upon him):
When one of you has been away from home for a long time, he must not come to his family during the night.
إذا أطال أحدكم الغيبة فلا يطرق أهله ليلا(may Allah be pleased with them both) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
When you arrive during the night do not go in to your family till the woman whose husband has been away cleans herself and the dishevelled woman combs herself.
إذا دخلت ليلا فلا تدخل على أهلك حتى تستحد المغيبة وتمتشط الشعثة
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.