If the father of the fiancée wishes to hold the wedding in a nightclub, what should be done?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Fatwa No. ( 5627 )
Q: By the grace of Allah the Exalted, and without any power or strength from myself, I proposed to a Muslim woman last Ramadan, in the year 1401 AH. My family and her family agreed on the mahr, the sadaq, and the engagement gift of gold, and so on. Before the meeting ended, I said to the father of the fiancée: "I do not like to anger Allah the Exalted in the matter of the celebration; that is, my wedding should be as the noble Shari'ah has commanded, and not like the custom of the Egyptians in their celebrations, with wailing and female dancers." He agreed with me at that time, and I praised Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He.
The days and months passed on this basis. When the wedding approached, the father of the fiancée suddenly changed his words. He said he wanted to celebrate, as it was his first celebration, and he wanted to hold the party in a nightclub with dancing and the like. I strongly refused this, until the situation changed and they said: "We will hold a family gathering. Her relatives and friends will come to the house to greet the bride—of course, there will be free mixing of men and women." It is known that the bride did not accept wearing the khimar on this night, and she said: "I will replace it with a white head covering (a cap) and a dress with a neckline, which of course does not serve as a khimar, because it reveals the outlines of the chest and the neck." O distinguished scholar: This is the last opinion expressed by the fiancée's family, and she agrees with them in this opinion. As for my family, they said: "Do not obstruct matters; this is one night in a lifetime, and when you are in your home, do as you please," along with other confusing and similar statements. O great distinguished scholar: My mind has become very confused, especially since my family tells me: "If you obstruct the matter, you are the one who is leaving the woman, and she is entitled to the gold engagement gift, which is 300 pounds, as well as the mahr (sadaq), which is 600 pounds, and also the gifts you presented during the seasons and festivals; all of these will be her right." It is known that I have not yet concluded a marriage contract, and it was planned to be on the wedding night. Since my love for Allah and His Messenger is stronger for me than the adornments of this world, I wanted to write
to you this so that I may find advice and guidance. What should I do? 1. If he wants to hold a celebration in a nightclub with dancing and musical instruments? 2. If he holds a gathering with male and female relatives and friends who are in a state of tabarruj (display of adornment), and they want to shake hands with her—of course, there will be wailing, musical instruments, and many acts of religious innovation there—knowing that she will not be observing the correct khimar? If the father of the fiancée and the fiancée herself insist on doing this, on the pretext that she does not want to anger him, should I annul the engagement, in which case all my money with her would be lost? Or should I listen to the one who said: "It is one night in a lifetime, and when you come to the house, do as you see fit"?
A: It is not permissible for the fiancée, her father, or anyone else to agree to commit what Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has forbidden. It is not permissible to do what you mentioned, such as holding a celebration in a nightclub with dancing, musical instruments, and the free mixing of men and women, and men shaking hands with women, as men are not mahram (relatives one may not marry) to women. It is also not permissible for a man who is not a mahram to shake hands with a woman. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: By the grace of Allah the Exalted, and without any power or strength from myself, I proposed to a Muslim woman last Ramadan, in the year 1401 AH. My family and her family agreed on the mahr, the sadaq, and the engagement gift of gold, and so on. Before the meeting ended, I said to the father of the fiancée: "I do not like to anger Allah the Exalted in the matter of the celebration; that is, my wedding should be as the noble Shari'ah has commanded, and not like the custom of the Egyptians in their celebrations, with wailing and female dancers." He agreed with me at that time, and I praised Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He.
The days and months passed on this basis. When the wedding approached, the father of the fiancée suddenly changed his words. He said he wanted to celebrate, as it was his first celebration, and he wanted to hold the party in a nightclub with dancing and the like. I strongly refused this, until the situation changed and they said: "We will hold a family gathering. Her relatives and friends will come to the house to greet the bride—of course, there will be free mixing of men and women." It is known that the bride did not accept wearing the khimar on this night, and she said: "I will replace it with a white head covering (a cap) and a dress with a neckline, which of course does not serve as a khimar, because it reveals the outlines of the chest and the neck." O distinguished scholar: This is the last opinion expressed by the fiancée's family, and she agrees with them in this opinion. As for my family, they said: "Do not obstruct matters; this is one night in a lifetime, and when you are in your home, do as you please," along with other confusing and similar statements. O great distinguished scholar: My mind has become very confused, especially since my family tells me: "If you obstruct the matter, you are the one who is leaving the woman, and she is entitled to the gold engagement gift, which is 300 pounds, as well as the mahr (sadaq), which is 600 pounds, and also the gifts you presented during the seasons and festivals; all of these will be her right." It is known that I have not yet concluded a marriage contract, and it was planned to be on the wedding night. Since my love for Allah and His Messenger is stronger for me than the adornments of this world, I wanted to write
to you this so that I may find advice and guidance. What should I do? 1. If he wants to hold a celebration in a nightclub with dancing and musical instruments? 2. If he holds a gathering with male and female relatives and friends who are in a state of tabarruj (display of adornment), and they want to shake hands with her—of course, there will be wailing, musical instruments, and many acts of religious innovation there—knowing that she will not be observing the correct khimar? If the father of the fiancée and the fiancée herself insist on doing this, on the pretext that she does not want to anger him, should I annul the engagement, in which case all my money with her would be lost? Or should I listen to the one who said: "It is one night in a lifetime, and when you come to the house, do as you see fit"?
A: It is not permissible for the fiancée, her father, or anyone else to agree to commit what Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has forbidden. It is not permissible to do what you mentioned, such as holding a celebration in a nightclub with dancing, musical instruments, and the free mixing of men and women, and men shaking hands with women, as men are not mahram (relatives one may not marry) to women. It is also not permissible for a man who is not a mahram to shake hands with a woman. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.