What is the ruling on a husband cursing his wife, and is she lawful or forbidden to him after he has cursed her?
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The questioner : A married man had a disagreement with his wife, and his anger toward her intensified, so he cursed her. What is the ruling in this matter? Is she lawful or forbidden to him after he cursed her?
The Shaykh : The ruling in this matter is that a person should, when angry, be strong, meaning firm, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih Muslim 2609a A man said to him: Al-Bukhari narrated it.
Therefore, what I advise this man and my other Muslim brothers to do is to control themselves when angry. If anger overtakes them, let them seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, for that removes it. Let them perform wudu, for that also removes anger. If a person is standing, let him sit, and if he is sitting, let him lie down. All of these things serve to alleviate his anger.
As for his cursing his wife, the curse of a Muslim is forbidden. In fact, cursing a specific disbeliever is forbidden; it is not permissible for anyone to curse a specific person, because cursing means invoking upon them expulsion and distance from the mercy of Allah. He must repent to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) from this curse, and he should seek his wife's forgiveness for it, so that perhaps Allah will accept his repentance. As for his wife, she does not become forbidden by this; rather, she is lawful to him, because cursing does not render something forbidden.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and give you reward.
The Shaykh : The ruling in this matter is that a person should, when angry, be strong, meaning firm, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.
ليس الشديد بالصرعة، وإنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضبHe said, "Advise me, O Messenger of Allah." He said, "Do not get angry." He repeated it several times, saying, "Do not get angry."
أوصني يا رسول الله قال: له لا تغضب، فردد مراراً قال: لا تغضبTherefore, what I advise this man and my other Muslim brothers to do is to control themselves when angry. If anger overtakes them, let them seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, for that removes it. Let them perform wudu, for that also removes anger. If a person is standing, let him sit, and if he is sitting, let him lie down. All of these things serve to alleviate his anger.
As for his cursing his wife, the curse of a Muslim is forbidden. In fact, cursing a specific disbeliever is forbidden; it is not permissible for anyone to curse a specific person, because cursing means invoking upon them expulsion and distance from the mercy of Allah. He must repent to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) from this curse, and he should seek his wife's forgiveness for it, so that perhaps Allah will accept his repentance. As for his wife, she does not become forbidden by this; rather, she is lawful to him, because cursing does not render something forbidden.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and give you reward.