Is there any advice for the brothers present and listening regarding reducing the costs of marriage, such as the mahr and other expenses?

The questioner : A questioner says: O Shaykh, is there any advice for the brothers present and listening regarding reducing the costs of marriage, such as the mahr and other expenses, and the wedding cards that end up in the trash, which may cost five to ten riyals? If they were placed on a tape or a book for one or two riyals, Allah would make them beneficial, the card would be preserved, and good would be spread through that marriage?

The Shaykh : Yes. I advise my Muslim brothers to avoid extravagance in mahr and excessive pricing, and to avoid extravagance in wedding feasts. Marriage is not a strange thing. All of Adam’s descendants get married, so it is not a strange matter for us to be extravagant in its occasions; it is a natural matter. So let it be natural . And the more a person eases the burden of marriage, the more that becomes a cause for the union between the spouses and good conduct between them, because that is part of its blessing. So my advice to my brothers is not to be excessive in mahr; that is one point.
Second: Do not be excessive in wedding feasts. I have been informed that in some countries, people spend one hundred thousand riyals or more on a wedding feast, by hiring female and male singers, renting luxurious hotels, and the like. This is a mistake, a great mistake, and extravagance that one fears will bring punishment.
Third: Do not be excessive in invitation cards. Sometimes the card you receive costs ten riyals or more, and it is—as the questioner said—where does it end up? In the trash. And yet, if you send invitations to one hundred men, what is the value? One hundred times ten is one thousand riyals. Why? It is a mistake, a great mistake. Even those who receive the card—and I am one of them—feel pity for these brothers and have mercy on them. I say: Poor things! They spent money to no avail. Did you see if they had made a thousand copies on a copying machine? How many riyals would that be? Hmm? Let it be fifty riyals, and that would suffice for this. The point is to inform the invitee that he holds a status with the inviter that necessitated sending him an invitation.
Third: Extravagance in wedding nights in the women’s clothing, to which what came in the hadith applies, or to some of it, what came in the hadith applies: . And uglier than that is for the man and his wife to stand on a stage, where he may kiss her, or sweets or an apple may be brought to her. She may eat part of the apple and give it to him to eat part of it, or vice versa. I swear by Allah, does this arouse desire or not? Answer, everyone. Yes, it arouses the dormant desire that knows no life. And uglier than that is for a video to be taken of the man and the woman, claiming it is for remembrance. It is a scandal and a denial! And worse than that is for women to be seen in front of him, displaying their adornment, perfumed, wearing the best clothes. Perhaps one of them is, in relation to his wife, like the moon in relation to the star Suhah. Suhah is a weak star. So his heart attaches to the women he sees and turns away from what? From his wife. And his night becomes dark, even in the moonlit nights. Why? Because he saw among the women someone who made his life bitter. In his own heart, he feels that his wife is the most beautiful of women and the best of women, but this woman he saw at this gathering covers the virtues of his wife. And the strange thing is, who invites these women? The wife’s family. So they ruin their homes with their own hands! They bring these women so that his wife becomes cheap among them. And this, by Allah, is from what is wrong. And it did not happen except recently. And I inform people that the husband comes to the wife’s house after the 'Isha' prayer with a few people. They sit and talk for about a quarter of an hour, drinking coffee and tea, then they say: Peace be upon you, may Allah bless you both and unite you in goodness. And one of them says: May Allah bless the one who visited and lightened the burden. And they did not stay except a quarter of an hour. Now, how long do they stay? How long? Until Fajr. By Allah, I have been informed that they stay until Fajr. And they turn the husband’s head, poor thing! He is with them like a sheep walking. Yes? He gets tired and bored. So when he reaches zero in his physical and sexual strength, they take him to his wife. What is the benefit? Yes? Now, from the moment he enters, where does he go? To the bed, to sleep immediately. Where did these customs come from? The example I mentioned to you: after a quarter of an hour of the 'Isha' prayer, or half an hour at most, they take the husband by the hand and take him to his wife in his father-in-law’s house. A calm, beautiful marriage, in accordance with fitrah, pleasant. But as it is said: "In luxury is destruction". And this is in accordance with reality; the more people increase in luxury, the more they increase in destruction and decline. So we ask Allah for guidance. Yes.