How do we reconcile the verses and hadiths that prohibit lowering the gaze and free mixing of men and women with the report that Aisha watched the Abyssinians playing?

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good. How do we reconcile the verses and hadiths that command lowering the gaze with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) watching the Abyssinians play?

The Shaykh : It commands lowering the gaze. Correct your wording; it commands, it does not prohibit!

The questioner : Yes, it commands lowering the gaze.

Another questioner: Peace be upon you.

Those present : All together: And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : And how do we reconcile this with the permission granted to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) for Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) to watch the Abyssinians dance, and with the hadith about when he was collecting alms and saw a woman with sunken cheeks?

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : So how do we reconcile the verses that command lowering the gaze with...?

Another questioner: Peace be upon you.

Those present : All together: And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.

The Shaykh : The command is clear, if Allah wills. The lowering of the gaze that is commanded is the gaze that has no need in it, and... in allowing one to look. In other words, we are commanded to avert our gaze from what is feared to lead to fitnah (trial, discord or temptation), meaning that a second look leads to a third, and fitnah follows from that. If we note this condition, the difficulty is resolved and reconciliation is achieved. It is certain that when the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) allowed... Lady Aisha to look at the Abyssinians, there was no likelihood of Lady Aisha being tempted by a second or third look, or any further, at the Abyssinians. That is not a possibility. Hence, the permission was given. Similarly, when a man is in a situation of a phone call with a non-mahram woman, and she is permissive in revealing her face, he certainly averts his gaze. But sometimes he raises his gaze for a second or third time, or perhaps more. The important point is that the hadith which says: explains the verse , and the hadith confirms this by saying: ; that is, your gaze for which you have no need, and from which fitnah is feared to result. As for the gaze that has a need, it is not included in the Quranic command or the Prophetic command.
And what confirms this meaning for us is the hadith in al-Bukhari that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) while he was with his Companions and said to him that she wanted to offer herself to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). He looked at her, lowered his gaze and raised it, looking at this woman, then averted his gaze from her, which made her feel that he had no need of her. Until that man stood up and said, "O Messenger of Allah, marry me to her." He said to him: . After he had asked him to seek a mahr (bridal gift) for her, even if it were a ring of iron; for his saying (peace be upon him): . He said, "By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I find nothing." He said (peace be upon him): .
And of this kind is also the well-known authentic hadith: . Based on this hadith and its meaning, one of the Companions was seen following a woman with his gaze on the ajjar (roof terrace) of her house. Do you know what ajjar is, or is it not known to you? It is the paved surface on top. A woman, for example, goes up to hang out her laundry. This paving is the ajjar. That Companion was seen following that woman with his gaze. So one of those who saw him—perhaps one of the Tabi'un (the generation after the Companions)—said to him, "How do you do this when you are a Companion of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)?" So he narrated to him the hadith that he intended in his heart to marry her, and the Messenger had commanded him to look at her. So the prohibited look is one thing, and the permitted look is another. And thus the difficulty is resolved, if Allah wills.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh : And beware of that.