On the meaning of the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Your self has a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your children have a right over you.”

The Shaykh: Allah has forgiven you what has passed of your sin and what remains; meaning, they said to him: your need is met, until when will you tire yourself out? The goal we aim for in our life here, and in our obedience to our Lord and following the Sunnah of our Prophet, is to attain the forgiveness of our Lord. Our Lord has forgiven you what has passed of your sin and what remains. Why this self-torment? He said: . Those men were heedless of this matter. They said: It is his right (peace be upon him) to marry women, and that he should not stand in prayer at night at all, nor fast the whole year; because he has achieved the purpose. This is a statement that touches the station of prophethood and messengership, had they known. So they agreed among themselves after they uttered this erroneous word, saying: This is the Messenger of Allah, and Allah has forgiven him what has passed of his sin and what remains. As for me—one of them speaking of himself—I will stand in prayer at night and not sleep. The second said: I will fast the whole year and not break the fast. The third said: I will not marry women at all. Who says that fasting is evil, and praying at night is evil, and not marrying women is evil, especially for the sake of dedicating oneself to the worship of Allah? Reason does not say it is evil, but the Shari'ah clarifies for us that it is evil.
And here is the point; it is not permissible for a Muslim to stand in prayer at night and not sleep because it harms himself. This is what happened to 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As; his father married him to a young woman from Quraysh while he was a young man in the prime of his life, fifteen years old. And among the wonders of things, there were fifteen years between him and his father; meaning his father married early, so he wanted to marry his son early, and this is good. I wish the fathers of this time would follow this good example! They do not marry their sons until after thirty and more, so that they study and get the high school diploma and the university degree and the doctorate and so on, and the city is ruined! [The Shaykh laughs!].
The point: When he married her, after a few days, as is natural, he entered upon his daughter-in-law. He asked her about her state with her husband? She said: He has not yet touched our bed! He has not yet touched our bed; meaning it was as if there was no marriage. Without a doubt, the father here means he would be extremely angry, so he complained to the Messenger (peace be upon him), saying: We married our son to protect him, for such and such, and so on. And he remained in his worship and was not concerned about his wife. What was his worship? The Messenger came to him or met him—this is how the narration goes—and said to him: . He said to him: That was the case, O Messenger of Allah. So how did he harm her? With fasting and prayer and what else?

The questioner : Standing up.

The Shaykh: And standing in prayer at night. What did he (peace be upon him) say to him? He said: . Meaning: Who visits you. In another hadith: A dispute occurred between Salman and Abu al-Darda': . He said: O Messenger of Allah, I am a young man, I have strength, I am able to do more than that? When did he say this? After he had set for him a method that he should read instead; he used to read a complete recitation of the Qur'an every night. What good is one who completes the Qur'an every night for women? And what good is one who fasts the whole year for women? So he said to him: You should read the Qur'an as the last thing in every month, just once. Excuse me, . Regarding fasting, he had said to him: You should fast three days of every month; because one good deed is ten times its like, and if you fast three days, it is as if you fasted a month. He used to say: O Messenger of Allah, I am a young man, I have strength, I am able to do more than that? He said to him: .
The Messenger (peace be upon him) departed to the highest companion, and 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr lived a long, blessed life thereafter. He grew old, reaching my age and my old age, and he was persistent in the method of the Messenger that he had set for him. Not fasting the whole year, nor a complete recitation of the Qur'an every night, no; completing the Qur'an in three days, and fasting one day and breaking the fast the next. This was the most generous thing he gave him. When he reached this age, he used to say: I wish I had accepted the dispensation of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).
The point: ; it is not permissible to harm yourself, even with good. I want you to understand this. Just as it is not permissible to harm another, even with good. These stories are examples of the two sides of the hadith: harm to the self, and harm to another. Without a doubt, the woman here was harmed.

The questioner: What if it is with smoke?

The Shaykh: Well done, well done, and this has a second hadith.
The point—may Allah bless you: The jurists, based on his saying (peace be upon him), when he heard a voice in the mosque reciting the Qur'an, he lifted the curtain and said: . This is a correct addition, even if it is not known in many books of hadith. With what? With raising the voice in recitation; as if he is saying to them: Lower your voices in recitation, each of you is whispering to his Lord, so what is the benefit of raising the voice? The jurists built upon this the following image, which is very wonderful. He said: If there is a man sleeping in the mosque, and a man feels inclined to read the Qur'an; it is not permissible for him to raise his voice in reciting the Qur'an; why? Because he harms the sleeper. So by raising his voice with the Qur'an, he is not sinful and he is not an innovator, rather it is permissible; it is permissible to raise your voice with the Qur'an, especially if a person fears boredom if he reads quietly, and some people feel this. But if there is a person sleeping in the mosque, it is not permissible to raise your voice with the Qur'an.