A woman says to her husband whenever he invites her to the bed: For the sake of Allah, leave me alone, and do not come to the house; does he sin if he goes to his wife and comes to his house?

The Shaykh : Here is a question that is, in reality, a regrettable question, representing the relationships of people, and specifically husbands with their wives. The questioner says: A woman says to her husband whenever he invites her to the bed, what does she say? "For the sake of Allah, leave me alone," and she says: "If you love Allah and His Messenger, do not come to the house." And when he reminds her of a hadith, she says: "If it were for the benefit of women, you would not have reminded me of it," so she refuses. So the question is: Does he sin if he goes to his wife and comes to his house? Naturally, the question has two parts; this is the first. The second part of the question is: And is it permissible for her to be dutiful to her mother through these actions because her mother-in-law does not like him, as is the custom of mothers-in-law in this age?
The answer regarding the first part: Does he sin if he goes to his wife and comes to his house?
We say with complete frankness: He sins by doing the opposite; he sins if he fulfills her oath and does not enjoy her and does not come to the house for her sake. This is the sin. If it is said: She swore upon him by Allah (Mighty and Majestic)! We say: Yes, she is sinful with this oath; because she wants to forbid what Allah (Mighty and Majestic) has made lawful, indeed what Allah has made obligatory for the man for the woman, and for the man himself in terms of enjoyment, satisfying desire, and protecting himself and her. But women, due to their disbelief and ignorance, do not care about the consequences of their affairs until the incident occurs and the lightning strikes them; at that time—and as it is said: "After the destruction of Basra"—they become aware of their previous crookedness.
In summary: It is obligatory for this husband not to fulfill his wife's oath in her oath. And first, indeed it is obligatory for him first, to come to the house and not leave the house for her sake. And second, indeed it is obligatory for him second, to compel her to the bed to satisfy his desire from her, so that he protects himself and his self does not fall into what Allah has forbidden, and his self does not also desire what Allah has forbidden.
As for this wife, if she is doing these actions in obedience to her mother and out of spite from this mother toward her son-in-law; then she is also sinful with two sins; because on one hand she obeys the mother in disobedience to Allah, and on the other hand she disobeys her husband because of that. But I want, after this clear and evident answer, to remind men that it is obligatory for them not to forget themselves and the rights and obligations they have toward women within the limits of the Shari'ah; for we know by experience and by the news that comes to us that often the defiance of women and their going out of obedience to the husband, the cause is the husband himself; either he is severe, he is of a harsh nature, he does not fulfill the obligation of spending within his ability, or he falls short with her in what is obligatory for her from his rights; so she consequently meets him with the same. Therefore, we men should not forget ourselves and not always and forever cast the blame on our wives; because in many cases the cause originates from ourselves.
This is a reminder, and the reminder benefits the believers.