A woman who defied her husband and swore not to let him approach her in obedience to her mother, and says to her husband: If you love Allah and His Messenger, do not come to the house

The Shaykh : ... and she says: If you love Allah and His Messenger, do not come to the house. And when he reminds her of a hadith, she says: If it were for the benefit of women, he would not have reminded me of it, so she refuses. So the question is: Does he sin if he goes to his wife and comes to his house? Naturally, the question has two parts, and this is the first. The second part of the question is: Is it permissible for her to be undutiful to her mother with these actions? Because her mother-in-law does not like him, as is the custom of mothers-in-law in this age?
Answer: Regarding the first part: Does he sin if he goes to his wife and comes to his house?
We say with complete frankness: He sins by doing the opposite. He sins if he honors her oath and does not enjoy her and does not come to the house for her sake. This is the sin. If it is said: She swore by Allah (Mighty and Majestic). We say: Yes, she is sinful in this oath; because she wants to forbid what Allah (Mighty and Majestic) has made lawful, indeed what Allah has made obligatory for the man toward the woman and for the man himself in terms of enjoyment, satisfying desire, and protecting oneself, his own self and her self. But women, because of their disbelief and ignorance, do not care about the consequences of their affairs until the incident occurs and the lightning strikes them. At that time, as they say, "after the destruction of Basra," they become aware of their previous crookedness.
In summary: It is obligatory for this husband not to honor his wife in her oath. And first of all, indeed it is obligatory for him first of all to come to the house and not leave the house for her sake. And secondly, indeed it is obligatory for him to compel her to the bed so that he may satisfy his desire from her, so that he protects himself and his self does not fall into what Allah has forbidden, and his self does not also desire what Allah has forbidden. As for this wife, if she is doing these actions in obedience to her mother and out of spite from this mother toward her son-in-law, then she is also sinful, two times over, because on one hand she obeys her mother in disobedience to Allah, and on the other hand she disobeys her husband because of that.
But I want, after this clear and evident answer, to remind men that it is obligatory for them not to forget themselves and the rights and obligations they have toward women within the limits of the Shari'ah. For we know by experience and by the news that comes to us that often the defiance of women and their going out of obedience to the husband, the cause is the husband himself. Either he is severe, he is of a harsh nature, he does not fulfill the obligation of financial maintenance within his ability, or he falls short with her in what is obligatory for her from him in terms of rights. So she consequently meets him with the same. Therefore, we men should not forget ourselves and not always and forever cast the blame on our wives, because in many cases the cause originates from ourselves. This is a reminder, and the reminder benefits the believers.