Did it come from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that the Khutbat al-Hajah is recited when the marriage contract is concluded, and what is the secret behind that?
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The questioner : He says: Your Eminence, the Shaykh, you mentioned the Khutbat al-Hajah, and we hear that those who conclude marriages for people begin the marriage with it. Did it come from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that it is recited when the marriage contract is concluded, and what is the secret behind this?
The Shaykh : Yes, there is no doubt that one of the greatest needs is the need for marriage. A person’s need for marriage may be like his need for food and drink. Therefore, it is obligatory for a person, if he has children who need to marry and he is wealthy, to marry them, just as it is obligatory for him to provide them with food, drink, clothing, and shelter. He must marry them. If he does not do so, and they are able to take something from his wealth, even secretly, to marry with, then they have that right, just as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) permitted Hind bint 'Utbah when she complained to him about her husband who did not give her what was sufficient for her and her child. He said:Sunan Ibn Majah 2293Sahih (Darussalam). So, if marriage is one of the greatest needs of a person, it is recommended that this sermon precede the marriage contract, but it is not a condition. If a man wanted to marry off his daughter and brought two witnesses and said to the suitor, “I give you my daughter So-and-So in marriage,” and he said, “I accept,” without the sermon, is this permissible or not permissible? Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) married the man who asked him to marry him to the woman who offered herself to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) without the sermon preceding it.
Do you know the story of the woman who offered herself? This is part of the perfection of the etiquette of the Companions; he did not say outright, “Marry me to her.” He said, “If you have no need for her, then marry me to her.” He said: . Because a woman is not lawful except with a bridal gift, as Allah the Exalted said: [An-Nisa 4:24]. He said: , meaning, so teach her what you have of the Qur'an. Thus, I have married her to you with what you have of the Qur'an. So the man married her. So, is the sermon that you hear being recited when the marriage contract is concluded obligatory or recommended?
The student: Recommended.
The Shaykh : Recommended. So if he did not give the sermon and said, “I give you my daughter in marriage,” and he said, “I accept,” it is finished and the contract is valid.
The Shaykh : Yes, there is no doubt that one of the greatest needs is the need for marriage. A person’s need for marriage may be like his need for food and drink. Therefore, it is obligatory for a person, if he has children who need to marry and he is wealthy, to marry them, just as it is obligatory for him to provide them with food, drink, clothing, and shelter. He must marry them. If he does not do so, and they are able to take something from his wealth, even secretly, to marry with, then they have that right, just as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) permitted Hind bint 'Utbah when she complained to him about her husband who did not give her what was sufficient for her and her child. He said:
Take what is sufficient for you and your child, on a reasonable basis.
خذي ما يكفيك وولدك بالمعروفDo you know the story of the woman who offered herself?
A woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) and said: O Messenger of Allah, I have offered myself to you – as a free gift – so he looked at her and approved of her, but he did not want her. However, out of his good character, he did not say, “I do not want you.” He remained silent. So a man from among the people stood up and said: O Messenger of Allah, if you have no need for her, then marry me to her.
امرأة جاءت للنبي صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم ، قالت : يا رسول الله وهبت نفسي لك - هبة مجانا - فصعد فيها النظر وصوب ولكنه لم يردها إلا أنه من حسن خلقه لم يقل لا أريدك، سكت، فقام رجل من الناس قال : يا رسول الله إن لم يكن لك بها حاجة فزوجنيهاWhat will you give her as a bridal gift?
ما تصدقها؟And lawful to you are [all others] beyond these, [provided] that you seek them [in marriage] with [gifts from] your property
وَأُحِلَّ لَكُمْ مَا وَرَاءَ ذَلِكُمْ أَنْ تَبْتَغُوا بِأَمْوَالِكُمْWhat will you give her as a bridal gift? He said: O Messenger of Allah, I will give her my waist-cloth – and he had nothing but a waist-cloth, he had no cloak – He said: Your waist-cloth? If you give it to her, you will remain without a waist-cloth, and if it remains with you, you will remain without a bridal gift – what is suitable? Seek it – seek it, even if it is a ring of iron. So the man went and sought it, but he found nothing. So he said: Do you have anything of the Qur'an? He said: Yes, I have such-and-such a surah. He said: I have married her to you with what you have of the Qur'an.
ما تصدقها؟، قال: يا رسول الله أصدقها إزاري - وليس عنده إلا إزار، ما عنده رداء - قال: إزارك إن اعطيتها إياه بقيت بلا إزار وإن بقي عليك بقيت بدون صداق - ما يصلح التمس - التمس ولو خاتما من حديد، فذهب الرجل فالتمس، لم يجد شيئا، فقال : هل معك شيء من القرآن قال: نعم معي سورة كذا وكذا، قال : زوجتكها بما معك من القرآنThe student: Recommended.
The Shaykh : Recommended. So if he did not give the sermon and said, “I give you my daughter in marriage,” and he said, “I accept,” it is finished and the contract is valid.