I am a young man, twenty-three years old, and I married a girl in accordance with the Sunnah of Allah and His Messenger. She is the daughter of my paternal uncle, my father’s full brother.
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The questioner : He says that he is a young man, twenty-three years old, married in accordance with the Sunnah of Allah and His Messenger to a girl who is the daughter of his paternal uncle, his father’s full brother. He says that he has been married for about four months, and he and his wife live in his father’s house. He says that one day a misunderstanding occurred between his wife and his family, so his wife went to her father’s house. After that, his wife asked him to rent an apartment suitable for their circumstances so that he and she could live alone and stay away from problems, or to live in her father’s house, on the condition that he never cut off his ties with his family and that he always ask after them. He agreed to this and presented it to his family, but they refused and insisted that he live with them. He asks if he commits a sin if he disobey them in their insistence and he and his wife live in an apartment or in her father’s house. Please advise us; may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : This problem that the questioner described often occurs between a man’s family and his wife. What is required in such a situation is that the man should try to reconcile his wife and his family, and to make peace as much as possible. He should admonish whoever among them is being unjust or encroaching on his brother’s rights, in a polite and gentle manner, so that affection and unity are achieved. Unity and affection are all good. If reconciliation and making peace are not possible, there is no blame on him if he separates himself in a residence of his own. In fact, that may be better and more beneficial for everyone until the ill feelings some have toward others disappear. In this situation, he should not cut off ties with his family, but rather contact them every day. It is good for the house where he and his wife live alone to be near his family’s house so that visiting and maintaining contact with them is easy. If he does what is obligatory toward his family and toward his wife, while living alone with his wife in one residence because it is not possible for everyone to live in one place, then this is better and more appropriate.
The Shaykh : This problem that the questioner described often occurs between a man’s family and his wife. What is required in such a situation is that the man should try to reconcile his wife and his family, and to make peace as much as possible. He should admonish whoever among them is being unjust or encroaching on his brother’s rights, in a polite and gentle manner, so that affection and unity are achieved. Unity and affection are all good. If reconciliation and making peace are not possible, there is no blame on him if he separates himself in a residence of his own. In fact, that may be better and more beneficial for everyone until the ill feelings some have toward others disappear. In this situation, he should not cut off ties with his family, but rather contact them every day. It is good for the house where he and his wife live alone to be near his family’s house so that visiting and maintaining contact with them is easy. If he does what is obligatory toward his family and toward his wife, while living alone with his wife in one residence because it is not possible for everyone to live in one place, then this is better and more appropriate.