Four sisters living in a committed household with their father state in this message that whenever they are visited by committed, religious young men as suitors, their father complains of a mental illness.
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The questioner : Four sisters living in a committed household with their father state in this message: Whenever committed, religious young men come to us as suitors, our father complains of a mental illness. Is it permissible for the judge in this case to perform the marriage contract for us? We ask for guidance.
The Shaykh : Yes, if the wali (guardian) prevents a woman from marrying a suitable suitor in his religion and character, the guardianship transfers to the next of the first group of male heirs, and so on. If they refuse to marry her off, which is the common case, because each of them says, "I am safe; I will not take precedence over her father, for example," then if they refuse, the guardianship transfers to the legal ruler, and the legal ruler marries the woman.
It is obligatory for the legal ruler, if the case reaches him and he knows that her guardians have refused to marry her off and the suitor is suitable in his religion and character, that he must marry her off, because he has general guardianship. If specific guardianship is not obtained, he must marry her off through general guardianship.
The jurists (may Allah have mercy on them) mentioned that if the wali repeatedly rejects a suitable suitor, he thereby becomes an open sinner, and his integrity and guardianship are dropped. In fact, according to the well-known view of the school of Imam Ahmad, even his leadership is dropped, so it is not valid for him to be an imam in the congregational prayer of the Muslims. This is a serious matter, and it occurs among some people, as we mentioned earlier, where he rejects the suitors who come forward to those whom Allah has placed under his guardianship, even though they are suitable.
However, the daughter may be shy about going to the judge to request marriage, and this is a real situation. But it is obligatory for her, meaning the daughter, to weigh the benefits and harms: which is the greater harm, remaining without a husband while this wali controls her according to his mood and desire, so that when she grows older and her desire for marriage cools, he marries her off, or going to the judge to request marriage, even though that is her legal right?
There is no doubt that the second option is preferable: going to the judge to request marriage, because she is asserting a right that belongs to her. Also, in her going to the judge and the judge marrying her off, there is a benefit for others as well, because others will come forward as she has come forward. And in her going to the judge, there is a deterrent for these oppressors who oppress those whom Allah has placed under their guardianship by preventing them from marrying suitable men.
So in that, there are three benefits: a benefit for the woman so that she does not remain unmarried, a benefit for others by opening the door for women who are waiting for someone to go to the judge so they can go forward, and third: preventing these oppressive guardians who control their daughters or the women whom Allah has placed under their guardianship according to their moods and what they want. In it is also a benefit of establishing the command of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), where he said:Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:875, and in it is also a fifth benefit, which is fulfilling the requests of those who come forward to women who are suitable in religion and character.
The Shaykh : Yes, if the wali (guardian) prevents a woman from marrying a suitable suitor in his religion and character, the guardianship transfers to the next of the first group of male heirs, and so on. If they refuse to marry her off, which is the common case, because each of them says, "I am safe; I will not take precedence over her father, for example," then if they refuse, the guardianship transfers to the legal ruler, and the legal ruler marries the woman.
It is obligatory for the legal ruler, if the case reaches him and he knows that her guardians have refused to marry her off and the suitor is suitable in his religion and character, that he must marry her off, because he has general guardianship. If specific guardianship is not obtained, he must marry her off through general guardianship.
The jurists (may Allah have mercy on them) mentioned that if the wali repeatedly rejects a suitable suitor, he thereby becomes an open sinner, and his integrity and guardianship are dropped. In fact, according to the well-known view of the school of Imam Ahmad, even his leadership is dropped, so it is not valid for him to be an imam in the congregational prayer of the Muslims. This is a serious matter, and it occurs among some people, as we mentioned earlier, where he rejects the suitors who come forward to those whom Allah has placed under his guardianship, even though they are suitable.
However, the daughter may be shy about going to the judge to request marriage, and this is a real situation. But it is obligatory for her, meaning the daughter, to weigh the benefits and harms: which is the greater harm, remaining without a husband while this wali controls her according to his mood and desire, so that when she grows older and her desire for marriage cools, he marries her off, or going to the judge to request marriage, even though that is her legal right?
There is no doubt that the second option is preferable: going to the judge to request marriage, because she is asserting a right that belongs to her. Also, in her going to the judge and the judge marrying her off, there is a benefit for others as well, because others will come forward as she has come forward. And in her going to the judge, there is a deterrent for these oppressors who oppress those whom Allah has placed under their guardianship by preventing them from marrying suitable men.
So in that, there are three benefits: a benefit for the woman so that she does not remain unmarried, a benefit for others by opening the door for women who are waiting for someone to go to the judge so they can go forward, and third: preventing these oppressive guardians who control their daughters or the women whom Allah has placed under their guardianship according to their moods and what they want. In it is also a benefit of establishing the command of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), where he said: