A woman says: Two men proposed to a girl; the girl and her mother agreed to one, and the father agreed to the other. A disagreement arose between them. Who has priority in acceptance? Please inform us.
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The questioner : This is a listener who used the initials M.A.H. from Jordan. She sent a message saying: Two men proposed to a girl; the girl and her mother agreed to one, and the father agreed to the other. A disagreement arose between them. Who has priority in acceptance? Please inform us, may you be rewarded?
The Shaykh : The one who has priority in acceptance is the wife. So if the proposed-to woman chooses one person, and her father or mother chooses another, the word of the proposed-to woman is the one that is followed, because she is the one who will live with the husband and spend her life with him and bear children from him. Yes, if it were assumed that she chose someone who is not a suitable match in religion or character, then her choice would not be accepted. And if she refuses to marry the others who are suitable in religion and character, except for this man whom you approved of, who is not a suitable match, then she is prevented from marrying him and remains without a husband, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:875.
Likewise, if the father and mother disagree regarding the suitors, and the mother chooses one and the father chooses one, then the matter is referred back to the proposed-to woman in this case. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : The one who has priority in acceptance is the wife. So if the proposed-to woman chooses one person, and her father or mother chooses another, the word of the proposed-to woman is the one that is followed, because she is the one who will live with the husband and spend her life with him and bear children from him. Yes, if it were assumed that she chose someone who is not a suitable match in religion or character, then her choice would not be accepted. And if she refuses to marry the others who are suitable in religion and character, except for this man whom you approved of, who is not a suitable match, then she is prevented from marrying him and remains without a husband, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
When there comes to you one of whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry her to him. If you do not do so, there will be a fitnah on the earth and great corruption.
إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبيرLikewise, if the father and mother disagree regarding the suitors, and the mother chooses one and the father chooses one, then the matter is referred back to the proposed-to woman in this case. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.