Among the blameworthy practices in weddings are the high costs of bridal gifts, where the father, mother, and brother are given a share of the gift, and the excessive number of feasts; thus, anyone who helps with a sacrificial animal or money must be helped in return with the same amount, and no one sits except on a sacrifice dedicated to him and his companions.

The questioner : May Allah reward the honorableThe Shaykh : Among the blameworthy practices in weddings that may be hidden are the customs and traditions observed by some brothers in the desert, where the groom is required to pay more than one hundred thousand riyals, and sometimes up to two hundred, upon marriage. The father receives a gift, as do the mother, sons, brothers, and sisters, and the wife receives multiplied amounts. Sometimes this becomes a competition for prestige and rivalry among the tribes, not to mention the feasts. If anyone helps you with a sacrificial animal or a sum of money, you must slaughter an animal for him alone, and he does not sit except on a sacrifice dedicated to him and his companions. What is your advice? They are in need, and debts may accumulate on them. What do you advise those who do this, and is it permissible for them?

The Shaykh : Yes, the reality is as the questioner mentioned regarding some of the desert dwellers: they are extravagant in feasts and invitations, and whoever does not be extravagant is the subject of blame, cursing, and backbiting. This is regarding the invitations. Each person brings a sacrificial animal, and this animal remains a debt on him. If he marries, it remains a debt on the groom. If the one who brought the sacrificial animal marries his son, he must return it to him, and thus competition for prestige occurs. As for what the father, mother, uncle, brother, or maternal uncle conditions on the groom in addition to his wife's bridal gift, it is forbidden for them and not lawful for them, and they eat it unjustly and as a sin, because there is no right for the father, mother, brother, uncle, or maternal uncle in what exceeds the bridal gift. By what right do they take it? What is the compensation they received for this money? Therefore, the scholars said that if it is conditioned for someone other than the father, it all belongs to her. For example, if a brother marries his sister and says to the groom, "Ten thousand for me and fifty thousand for the wife," and the groom agrees, then the ten thousand conditioned by the brother belongs to the wife, and he has no right to it. The wife can claim it from him if they dispute before a judge; the ten thousand belongs to the wife, and the bridal gift becomes sixty thousand. Some scholars say regarding the father: there is no harm in him conditioning something for himself, and if he conditions something for himself, it is his. But the correct view is that he has no right to condition anything, because it was reported in a hadith from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): But it is not permissible for the father to condition anything for himself, because if the door were opened, daughters would be like goods to be bought and sold. My advice to those about whom the questioner mentioned what he mentioned is to repent to Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and to make the bridal gift simple among them, so that marriage increases among them and so that they do not burden themselves with debts. How many debtors come and say, "We have such and such a debt due to marriage."
Yes.