Washing My Father-in-Law in the Absence of My Husband
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The questioner : The questioner says: In the absence of my husband, because he is traveling, I am the one who washes my father-in-law. Some people say that this is forbidden because I see his private parts. Is this forbidden, considering that he is an old man who cannot take care of himself? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : If he needs you to wash him, there is nothing wrong with it, because this is a pressing need, and a pressing need permits looking at the private parts. However, if he does not need it, it is not permissible for you to look at his private parts, because he is one of the mahram (a relative one may not marry), and a woman may look at a mahram’s face, head, forearms, lower legs, and the like. But the husband should strive to take care of his father, because that is part of his dutifulness to him, and he will have a reward from Allah (Mighty and Majestic) for it. The continuation of a state is impossible, and one does not know when his father will answer the call of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) to leave this world. So what we advise this husband is to take care of his father as long as he is alive, and to be patient and count on Allah. Indeed, Allah the Exalted said in His Noble Book:[Al-Isra 17:23-24].
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : If he needs you to wash him, there is nothing wrong with it, because this is a pressing need, and a pressing need permits looking at the private parts. However, if he does not need it, it is not permissible for you to look at his private parts, because he is one of the mahram (a relative one may not marry), and a woman may look at a mahram’s face, head, forearms, lower legs, and the like. But the husband should strive to take care of his father, because that is part of his dutifulness to him, and he will have a reward from Allah (Mighty and Majestic) for it. The continuation of a state is impossible, and one does not know when his father will answer the call of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) to leave this world. So what we advise this husband is to take care of his father as long as he is alive, and to be patient and count on Allah. Indeed, Allah the Exalted said in His Noble Book:
Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (24) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا * وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًاThe questioner : May Allah reward you with good.