What is your advice for one who takes un-Islamic means to have children?
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Abu Layla : My Shaykh, I have a neighbor, a noble man, who has been my neighbor for fifteen years.
The Shaykh: Yes.
Abu Layla : And we believe in him, if Allah wills, that he is righteous.
The Shaykh : If Allah wills.
Abu Layla : This man, my Shaykh, has been married for about twenty years.
The Shaykh: Yes.
Abu Layla : And he had a son and a daughter from his first wife.
The Shaykh : Yes.
Abu Layla : And what Allah willed, his health is good and excellent, and especially as I heard from him, he said that from the sexual aspect, I am good and fine with the first wife. So he married a second time because his first wife fell ill with an illness we do not want to detail for you, because there is no need for it.
The Shaykh : Yes, yes.
Abu Layla : So he married another woman, but the second one did not become pregnant from him.
The Shaykh: Yes.
Abu Layla : As is the custom of some people, because he did not consult the religious matters regarding whether it is permissible to expose his wife to doctors or not, he went the way of some other people and began to seek a path, going from doctor to doctor, until some people told him to go to France, and some said to go to Palestine, and others said to go to the fortune-tellers. One would say so-and-so did a spell on you, and another would say so-and-so did such-and-such to you. So this man, my Shaykh, is living in confusion, he does not sleep at night or during the day, and he has become very, very weak, even in his mind. So I said to him, why are you trying all these attempts? Leave your matter to Allah the Mighty and Sublime, and entrust your matter to Allah the Exalted. He said, my brother, I want to be at ease. I said to him, the only solution is what I am saying now with my Shaykh, and perhaps Allah the Mighty and Sublime will inspire him to speak some kind words from you, if Allah wills, and they will be the cause that he calms down and knows the path he must know, which every Muslim knows, namely what Allah has decreed for him.
The Shaykh : Yes, exactly.
Abu Layla : Please, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I say to the noble brother and to those like him among the Muslims who truly believe in Allah and His Messenger and the words of Allah and the hadiths of His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that it is not permissible for him to resort to un-prescribed means in order for his wife, with whom he has been married for years and who has not become pregnant, to become pregnant. There is no harm in resorting to the prescribed, permissible means. As for resorting to means that are not permissible, that is forbidden and does not befit the Muslim who truly believes in Allah and His Messenger, as we said, to resort to such forbidden means. Among these is going to fortune-tellers, astrologers, and those who summon jinn, and the like. This is based on his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Ibn Majah 639Hasan (Darussalam). And in another hadith: . Forty days. Therefore, this brother must, as I told him, be content with the decree and destiny of Allah. If he is provided with a son or more from the first wife, that is by the decree and destiny of Allah. And if he is not provided with anything from the second wife, that is also by the decree and destiny of Allah. And if he considers this a calamity, if he considers the non-arrival of children from the second wife a calamity, let him remember the saying of the Messenger (peace be upon him): — meaning something that harmed him and he did not like it — . Then let him remember, along with this religious reality, which is the obligation of the Muslim to be content with the decree and destiny of Allah, whether it is negative or positive, let him remember some real events. Among them is a story my father (may Allah have mercy on him) used to tell, the summary of which is that he had a wealthy friend who had a beautiful and pleasing wife, and everything about her was good, but she was barren. So this friend, when he sat with my father, would lament and say, "Oh, if only my Lord would provide me with a son." My father would say to him, "My dear, be content with the decree and destiny of Allah. What would this son do for you if he came to you? He might become a curse upon you. If you are provided with a son, he might become a curse upon you." He would say, "Even if I could just see a son." The days passed and the days came, and by Allah, He sent him a son. He was a wealthy man and his wife was likewise, meaning she was completely compatible with him. So he raised the son with a rare upbringing that no couple could match. When the son reached manhood, the son and the father were reversed; the son would beat the father and insult him, as they say in our place in Syria, "until he wished for the stars of the sky in broad daylight." He would say, "Oh, if only I had remained as I was, barren, and not been provided with such a son." My father (may Allah have mercy on him) would say to him, "Do you remember when you used to say such-and-such, and I would say to you, so-and-so, be content with the decree and destiny of Allah, and that is better for you?" Perhaps this brother should first consider what we mentioned from the religious, divine matter, which is contentment with what Allah has written for him. The second matter is that today, let him take a general look: are the majority of children, whether male or female, obedient and pleasing to their parents, or are most of them undutiful and defiant, and the like? This is all I have, and peace be upon you and upon him.
Abu Layla : And upon you be peace and the mercy of Allah and His blessings, and may Allah reward you with good, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
Abu Layla : Peace be upon you, and Allah’s mercy and blessings.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings, and His forgiveness.
Abu Layla : How are you, my Shaykh?
The Shaykh : I praise Allah and thank Him.
Abu Layla : Praise be to Allah, I am well
The Shaykh : How is everyone?
Abu Layla : They are all well, praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, and what has happened with you?
Abu Layla : By Allah, my Shaykh, as we say in Jordan, "you have put your hand on it."
The Shaykh : How?
Abu Layla : Yes, and he is laughing.
The Shaykh : May Allah assist you.
Abu Layla : My Shaykh, we have here our brother Aymen from the people of Irbid, who gathered with us a while ago, and he wants to ask you a question. Do you allow him?
The Shaykh: Go ahead.
Aymen: My teacher, peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
Aymen: I would like to ask you about the chain of narration of this hadith.
The Shaykh : What is it.
Aymen: Mu'ammal narrated to us, Hammad narrated to us, Ishaq ibn Suwayd narrated to us, Yahya ibn Ya'mar narrated to us.
The Shaykh : Who?
Aymen: Yahya ibn Ya'mar narrated to us.
The Shaykh : Ishaq, tell me, who is his father?
Aymen: Ishaq ibn Suwayd.
The Shaykh : Suwayd, Suwayd. Yes.
Aymen: I ask for your forgiveness. From Yahya ibn Ya'mar from Aisha that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to Uthman ibn Maz'un, "Do you believe in what we believe in?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then you are equal to us in status." Its narrators are all trustworthy except for this Mu'ammal...
The Shaykh : This Mu'ammal is Mu'ammal ibn Isma'il.
Aymen: Yes, this is the one about whom there is discussion. Al-Bukhari said he is a denouncer of hadith, and Ibn Ma'in said he is trustworthy, and Abu Hatim said he is truthful, strict in the Sunnah, and makes many mistakes, and Ibn Hajar said he is truthful but has poor memory. I said, one of them said, perhaps it is a good hadith, if Allah wills. What is your opinion? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : The hadith's chain of narration is weak, but it may be good if you follow up its corroborating narrations.
Aymen: And what is its defect?
The Shaykh : It is this Mu'ammal.
Aymen: Yes, of course, my teacher. Ibn Ma'in's authentication, he said he is trustworthy, does that not count?
The Shaykh : And why would the criticized one not be taken?
Aymen: Yes, of course.
The Shaykh : Of course.
Aymen: May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
Aymen: Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
The Shaykh: Yes.
Abu Layla : And we believe in him, if Allah wills, that he is righteous.
The Shaykh : If Allah wills.
Abu Layla : This man, my Shaykh, has been married for about twenty years.
The Shaykh: Yes.
Abu Layla : And he had a son and a daughter from his first wife.
The Shaykh : Yes.
Abu Layla : And what Allah willed, his health is good and excellent, and especially as I heard from him, he said that from the sexual aspect, I am good and fine with the first wife. So he married a second time because his first wife fell ill with an illness we do not want to detail for you, because there is no need for it.
The Shaykh : Yes, yes.
Abu Layla : So he married another woman, but the second one did not become pregnant from him.
The Shaykh: Yes.
Abu Layla : As is the custom of some people, because he did not consult the religious matters regarding whether it is permissible to expose his wife to doctors or not, he went the way of some other people and began to seek a path, going from doctor to doctor, until some people told him to go to France, and some said to go to Palestine, and others said to go to the fortune-tellers. One would say so-and-so did a spell on you, and another would say so-and-so did such-and-such to you. So this man, my Shaykh, is living in confusion, he does not sleep at night or during the day, and he has become very, very weak, even in his mind. So I said to him, why are you trying all these attempts? Leave your matter to Allah the Mighty and Sublime, and entrust your matter to Allah the Exalted. He said, my brother, I want to be at ease. I said to him, the only solution is what I am saying now with my Shaykh, and perhaps Allah the Mighty and Sublime will inspire him to speak some kind words from you, if Allah wills, and they will be the cause that he calms down and knows the path he must know, which every Muslim knows, namely what Allah has decreed for him.
The Shaykh : Yes, exactly.
Abu Layla : Please, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I say to the noble brother and to those like him among the Muslims who truly believe in Allah and His Messenger and the words of Allah and the hadiths of His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that it is not permissible for him to resort to un-prescribed means in order for his wife, with whom he has been married for years and who has not become pregnant, to become pregnant. There is no harm in resorting to the prescribed, permissible means. As for resorting to means that are not permissible, that is forbidden and does not befit the Muslim who truly believes in Allah and His Messenger, as we said, to resort to such forbidden means. Among these is going to fortune-tellers, astrologers, and those who summon jinn, and the like. This is based on his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):
or who goes to a fortuneteller and believes what he says, he has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.
من أتى كاهنا فصدقه بما يقول فقد كفر بما أنزل على محمدWhoever goes to a fortune-teller or a diviner and believes in what he says, his prayer will not be accepted for forty days.
من أتى كاهنا أو عرافا فصدقه بما يقول لم تقبل له صلاة أربعين يوماAstonishing is the affair of the believer, for it is all good. If something good happens to him, he praises and thanks Allah, and it is good for him. And if something bad happens to him,
عجبا أمر المؤمن كله إن أصابته سراء حمد فشكر الله فكان خيرا له وإن أصابته ضراءhe is patient, and it is good for him. So the affair of the believer is all good, and that is not so except for the believer.
فصبر فكان خيرا له ، فأمر المؤمن كله خير وليس ذلك إلا للمؤمنAbu Layla : And upon you be peace and the mercy of Allah and His blessings, and may Allah reward you with good, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
Abu Layla : Peace be upon you, and Allah’s mercy and blessings.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings, and His forgiveness.
Abu Layla : How are you, my Shaykh?
The Shaykh : I praise Allah and thank Him.
Abu Layla : Praise be to Allah, I am well
The Shaykh : How is everyone?
Abu Layla : They are all well, praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, and what has happened with you?
Abu Layla : By Allah, my Shaykh, as we say in Jordan, "you have put your hand on it."
The Shaykh : How?
Abu Layla : Yes, and he is laughing.
The Shaykh : May Allah assist you.
Abu Layla : My Shaykh, we have here our brother Aymen from the people of Irbid, who gathered with us a while ago, and he wants to ask you a question. Do you allow him?
The Shaykh: Go ahead.
Aymen: My teacher, peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
Aymen: I would like to ask you about the chain of narration of this hadith.
The Shaykh : What is it.
Aymen: Mu'ammal narrated to us, Hammad narrated to us, Ishaq ibn Suwayd narrated to us, Yahya ibn Ya'mar narrated to us.
The Shaykh : Who?
Aymen: Yahya ibn Ya'mar narrated to us.
The Shaykh : Ishaq, tell me, who is his father?
Aymen: Ishaq ibn Suwayd.
The Shaykh : Suwayd, Suwayd. Yes.
Aymen: I ask for your forgiveness. From Yahya ibn Ya'mar from Aisha that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to Uthman ibn Maz'un, "Do you believe in what we believe in?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then you are equal to us in status." Its narrators are all trustworthy except for this Mu'ammal...
The Shaykh : This Mu'ammal is Mu'ammal ibn Isma'il.
Aymen: Yes, this is the one about whom there is discussion. Al-Bukhari said he is a denouncer of hadith, and Ibn Ma'in said he is trustworthy, and Abu Hatim said he is truthful, strict in the Sunnah, and makes many mistakes, and Ibn Hajar said he is truthful but has poor memory. I said, one of them said, perhaps it is a good hadith, if Allah wills. What is your opinion? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : The hadith's chain of narration is weak, but it may be good if you follow up its corroborating narrations.
Aymen: And what is its defect?
The Shaykh : It is this Mu'ammal.
Aymen: Yes, of course, my teacher. Ibn Ma'in's authentication, he said he is trustworthy, does that not count?
The Shaykh : And why would the criticized one not be taken?
Aymen: Yes, of course.
The Shaykh : Of course.
Aymen: May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
Aymen: Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.