Advice for the woman who harms her husband and does not obey him

Question:
Your Eminence, I have a letter consisting of two pages. I do not know whether I should read these two pages or read the summary I made of them?

The Shaykh: The summary is sufficient.

The presenter: The summary of what is in this letter is that its author complains about his wife with much bitterness. He says that she insists on going to her parents' house every week, and that she gives her entire salary to her parents, even though he is the one who takes her to school and brings her back. She leaves the house often for the sake of this job. He also says that she neglects caring for the house and the child, leaving all of that to the maid. She goes back and forth to people frequently. He asks for your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, the master of the children of Adam, and upon his family and his Companions, and whoever follows his path and is guided by his guidance until the Day of Judgment. As for what follows:
It is obligatory for every wife to listen to and obey her husband in what is good. She has no right to go to her parents' house without his permission, nor to anyone else's house without his permission. Likewise, regarding teaching, she has no right to teach without his permission, unless he stipulated this in the marriage contract, in which case Otherwise, she has no right to teach without his permission.
Her going to her parents' house every week is not permissible for her without your permission. You should look into the matter and consider the benefit. If you see that there is benefit in her going, there is no harm in doing so, out of consideration for her parents' feelings, and to preserve the soundness of hearts and the continuation of affection. If it can be arranged that her visits to them are less frequent, such as every ten days or half a month, there is no harm. You, the parents, and the woman should agree on what is in the best interest of everyone, which brings you satisfaction and avoids causing separation.
Likewise, she has no right to go out to anyone other than her parents without your permission. It is obligatory for her to stay in the house, care for the children, and raise them with good upbringing. She should not leave them to the maid; rather, she should care for them herself, strive to raise them, and be kind to them. If they are old enough to understand, she should strive to give them an Islamic upbringing and guide them to what is good.
As for the salary, it belongs to her, but she should give you some of it in return for your effort, your going and coming, and to put your mind at ease, especially if you are in need. It is prescribed for her to help you, because Allah the Exalted says: [Al-Ma'idah: 2], and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: So my advice to her is to help you from her salary. It is obligatory for her to listen to and obey you in everything that does not involve disobedience to Allah , whether in her going to her parents or to others.
As for the presence of the maid in your home, you made a mistake in bringing the maid. She is the one who caused these problems. Remove the maid so that she [the wife] can stay in the house, take care of her children, and serve the house. Removing the maid is the way to... safety from her going to her parents and others at all times. Also, the presence of the maid in your home is a danger to you and to your religion, and there is no one else in the house. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: So her presence in the house, while the woman is outside the house for teaching or at her parents', is a great danger.
So my advice to you is to remove the maid and send her back to her family, and for the wife to take care of what concerns the house, even if she leaves teaching. This is my advice to you both. We ask Allah for guidance and success for everyone.

The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good. So, is the priority in these matters the marital life?

The Shaykh: Yes, it is incumbent upon each of them to care for the marital life and strive to maintain it in the manner prescribed by the Shari'ah, without disobedience to Allah .
The point is: It is prescribed for you, my brother, to care for preserving your wife and keeping her in the house, and to do everything that keeps her from going out except with your permission.

The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. Perhaps this letter gives us the opportunity, Your Eminence, to ask: If a man wants to marry a working woman, what conditions do you advise him to stipulate so that the marital life is straight?

The Shaykh: He should do what is best. If he sees that agreeing to her staying in the job is fine, there is no harm. If he sees that stipulating she leave the job is better, there is no harm. He knows himself best, and this is a matter that depends on his knowledge, his need, and his judgment. If it is possible for her to stay in a good job, and there is someone in the house who can take her place in managing the house, such as her mother, her sisters, or the like, that is fine. Otherwise, the best option is not to accept a working woman, but to marry a woman who does not work, so that she stays in his house, cares for the house, and he can relax when he comes home from work and finds her there.
The point in any case is that he should look at what is best for him in his religion and his worldly life, whether with a working woman or one who is not.

The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and may He benefit us with your knowledge.