I committed a sin and swore by Allah not to return to it a second time, but I did return to it. Then I said, if I return to this act, my wife will be to me like my mother's back, but I

The questioner : I committed a sin and swore by Allah not to return to it a second time, but I did return to it. Then I said: If I return to this act, my wife will be to me like my mother's back. But I did return to it, and unfortunately so. The question is: Do I owe an expiation, and do I have to feed the poor?

The Shaykh : This man mentioned that he first swore an oath and then committed zihar. As for his oath, if he had said "if Allah wills," it would have been a means to achieving his objective. If he had said, "By Allah, if Allah wills, I will not return to it," perhaps this would have been a means to achieving what he swore to. But he did not say "if Allah wills," and therefore he broke his oath. What is recommended for every person who swears an oath, even if he is certain, is to say "if Allah wills," because if he says "if Allah wills," he benefits in two ways. The first benefit is that it helps him to do what he swore to do. The second benefit is that if he breaks his oath and does not do it, he owes no expiation. The evidence for this is what is established in the Prophetic Sunnah that Sulayman (peace be upon him), who was one of the prophets of the Children of Israel, to whom Allah granted prophethood and kingship, swore one day that he would go around ninety women, meaning he would have intercourse with ninety women, each of whom would give birth to a boy who would fight in the cause of Allah. It was said to him: Say, "If Allah wills." But he (peace be upon him) did not say it, relying on the certainty and determination in himself. So he had intercourse with ninety women that night, and only one of them gave birth, and she gave birth to a half-person, not a complete human being. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And based on this, we say to this brother: If you, when you intended to swear not to return to this sin, had said "if Allah wills," this would have been a means to achieving what you wanted. But that did not happen, so you now owe the expiation for an oath, which is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If you do not find the means to do so, then fasting for three consecutive days. Then I advise you, and I advise everyone who hears this, not to make oaths or vows a means of abstaining from sin or of performing obedience, because Allah the Exalted condemned that and said: meaning that you should have known obedience without an oath. This is a text from the Qur'an. As for the Sunnah, it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) that he forbade vows and said: meaning that the miserly one is the one who obligates himself to give charity through a vow. How many people have vowed to Allah to perform an act of obedience, then it became heavy for them afterwards and they did not do it, and they began knocking on the door of every scholar hoping to escape from this vow, and the end result is that they do not fulfill their vow, and they fall into this severe warning that Allah the Exalted mentioned in His saying: This is the answer to the first part of the question, which is that he swore not to return to this sin but did return to it. The summary is that if he had said "if Allah wills," it would have been better for him. Second, it is obligatory for him, when he returned to it, to expiate the oath by feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he does not find the means, then fasting for three consecutive days.
As for the second part: he committed zihar regarding his wife if he returned, saying: If I return to this, my wife will be to me like my mother's back. This is also more severe than the first, because zihar, as Allah the Glorious and Exalted described it in His saying: is an abominable statement because it is forbidden, and a lie because it is falsehood. So it is said to this man: Did you intend by this zihar that your wife would be to you like your mother's back in terms of prohibition? If so, this is zihar, and its expiation is severe. Or did you intend by it to strengthen the deterrent for yourself, and that because of how much you dislike this act, you attached zihar to it? If it is the first, then your wife is not lawful for you to approach until you expiate, and the expiation is freeing a slave. If you do not find the means, then fasting for two consecutive months. If you are unable to do that, then feeding sixty poor people. If it is the second, meaning that you intended by it to strengthen the deterrent for yourself from this act, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath. That is, when you returned to it, you owe the expiation for an oath, which is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If you do not find the means, then fasting for three consecutive days. And I advise you at the end of this answer to repent to Allah the Glorious and Exalted, to abandon this sin, and to resolve with a firm, sincere resolution for Allah the Exalted not to return to it. And if Allah the Exalted knows from you the sincerity of intention, He will help you, guide you, and prevent you from it.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.