I have a close friend who does me favors and gives me gifts, and the problem is that my friend mentions his kindness to me to people, saying that I bought him this and that
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The questioner : I have a close friend who does me favors and gives me gifts, and the problem is that my friend mentions his kindness to me to people, saying that I bought him this and that. When I heard this, I was in great pain and resolved never to accept any kindness from him again. Is it permissible for me to do that, or what should I do? How should I deal with him? And is it permissible for me to recount what he did to people?
The Shaykh : The answer to this is directed to the one who does the favor and the one to whom the favor is done. As for the one who does the favor, it is forbidden for him to boast about his charity and kindness, because Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:[Al-Baqarah 2:264] And because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, in what was narrated by Abu Dharr and recorded by Muslim, he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sunan Ibn Majah 2208Sahih (Darussalam) Abu Dharr said: Who are they, O Messenger of Allah? He said: Sahih Muslim 106a The point of this hadith is: So this man who does the favor is sinful for mentioning his kindness to others, and he nullifies his reward and recompense. As for the one to whom the favor is done, I think he should not accept a gift from this man and should reject it completely, because this man has become one who is not sincere to him, but rather one who exposes him, and may Allah protect us from that, by showing people that he did a favor on so-and-so with this, and did a favor on so-and-so with that. So the gift of such a person should be rejected.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : The answer to this is directed to the one who does the favor and the one to whom the favor is done. As for the one who does the favor, it is forbidden for him to boast about his charity and kindness, because Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:
O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injury
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا تُبْطِلُوا صَدَقَاتِكُمْ بِالْمَنِّ وَالأَذَىThere are three to whom Allah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection nor will He look at them or purify them, and theirs will be a painful torment.
ثلاثة لا يكلمهم الله يوم القيامة ولا ينظر إليهم ولا يزكيهم ولهم عذاب أليمthe dragger of lower garment, the recounter of obligation the seller of goods by false oath.
المسبل، والمنان، والمنفق سلعته بالحلف الكاذبThe one who boasts of what he gives
المنانThe questioner : May Allah reward you with good.