What is the ruling on traveling from one city to another to offer condolences or to pray over the deceased?
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The questioner : What is the ruling on traveling from one city to another to offer condolences or to pray over the deceased?
The Shaykh : The original ruling is that there is nothing wrong with it, but I fear that a door will be opened for people to compete in this, which will burden people and be a burden to them. Because if this becomes a custom, the one who stays behind becomes a target for criticism and violation of his honor, so what is not a recommended practice becomes a recommended practice. Therefore, what I see is that one should not go to pray over the deceased if the distance is that of a shortened prayer, or to offer condolences, except if it is a very close relative, such as the father, mother, brother, sister, paternal uncle, nephew, maternal uncle, or niece. In that case, it may be said that there is nothing wrong with it because of the strength of the kinship, and because this is not possible for everyone, so it is not feared that the door will be opened to people. The condolence intended is to strengthen the bereaved to bear the calamity; it is not a congratulation sought from everyone, but rather strengthening the bereaved to be patient and to seek reward. If one is not bereaved by a death, he is not to be offered condolences at all, because some people may not be affected by the death of a cousin, for example, because he was in a dispute with him before his death and was tired of him, so he does not care whether he dies or lives. Such a person is not offered condolences; condolences for what! In fact, if it were said that he is pleased by his death if he was a burden to him. But if we see a person truly bereaved and affected, we offer him condolences that resemble an admonition, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did with one of his daughters when she sent to him that her son or daughter was in the throes of death. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the one who came to invite him: When such a thing befalls the soul, a person is convinced and the calamity becomes light for him. As for us going to offer condolences and increasing the sadness, and sitting remembering the virtues of the deceased and his actions in his life and his good treatment, this is from the wailing that is prohibited. Therefore, people today have taken condolences in a manner that is not prescribed. In some countries, tents are set up, with lights and chairs, and this is inside and that is outside, until you would say: this is a wedding party. They bring a reciter to recite the Qur'an, reciting the Qur'an for a financial fee, so the Book of Allah the Exalted is sold for dirhams and dinars. And the one who recites the Qur'an does not recite it except for a fee; he has no reward and no wage, and the deceased does not benefit from it. So spending money on him is a waste of money, especially if it is from the estate, and among the heirs are minors, so money is taken from these minors without right, indeed falsely.
I advise my brothers, if they are struck by the death of one of their relatives or friends, to bear it and be patient and say what the patient say: "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return. O Allah, reward me in my affliction and replace for me something better than it." Abu Salama (may Allah be pleased with him) died, leaving behind his wife Umm Salama, and she loved him intensely and he loved her. And I heard from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that whoever is struck by a calamity and says:Sahih Muslim 918a So when Abu Salama died, she said: "O Allah, reward me in my affliction and replace for me something better than it." And she would say to herself: Who is better than Abu Salama? Meaning she was thinking about who this one would be who would come to be better, because she believed that the saying of the Messenger is the truth and that Allah must replace for her something better than him, better than Abu Salama? But she would say: Who is this? So when her waiting period ended, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married her, and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was better for her than Abu Salama without doubt. And Allah accepted the supplication of His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when he entered upon Abu Salama (may Allah be pleased with him) and his eyes had become fixed and he died. He saw his eyes fixed, so he closed them, (peace and blessings be upon him), and said: Bulugh al-Maram 538 Five supplications, if they were weighed against the world, the world would be outweighed by them. One of them we know because it was witnessed in this world, and it is his saying: So the one who replaced him in his offspring is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), who married Umm Salama, and the son of Abu Salama, 'Umar, and his sister were under his care, yes, stepchildren of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). As for the other hidden supplications, we hope that Allah the Exalted has accepted them, as Allah has accepted what we witnessed.
The conclusion is: I advise my brothers, as advice for the sake of Allah Mighty and Majestic, to leave these customs that are not from the guidance of the righteous predecessors. And the righteous predecessors, and Allah is better than us in seeking nearness to Allah Mighty and Majestic and benefiting the deceased, never did this. And our Hanbali scholars, as well as the Shafi'i scholars, and perhaps others as well, have explicitly stated that gathering for condolences is an innovation. Some of them did not explicitly state that it is an innovation, but said: it is disliked. If you wish, refer to the books of the scholars on that so that it becomes clear to you.
I ask Allah the Exalted to guide us to His straight path.
The questioner : Yes. Amen.
The Shaykh : And to grant us success in following the methodology of the first of the earlier ones, from the emigrants and the helpers.
The questioner : Amen, may Allah reward you with good, O honorable Shaykh. This questioner is Umm Turki from Riyadh.
The Shaykh : The original ruling is that there is nothing wrong with it, but I fear that a door will be opened for people to compete in this, which will burden people and be a burden to them. Because if this becomes a custom, the one who stays behind becomes a target for criticism and violation of his honor, so what is not a recommended practice becomes a recommended practice. Therefore, what I see is that one should not go to pray over the deceased if the distance is that of a shortened prayer, or to offer condolences, except if it is a very close relative, such as the father, mother, brother, sister, paternal uncle, nephew, maternal uncle, or niece. In that case, it may be said that there is nothing wrong with it because of the strength of the kinship, and because this is not possible for everyone, so it is not feared that the door will be opened to people. The condolence intended is to strengthen the bereaved to bear the calamity; it is not a congratulation sought from everyone, but rather strengthening the bereaved to be patient and to seek reward. If one is not bereaved by a death, he is not to be offered condolences at all, because some people may not be affected by the death of a cousin, for example, because he was in a dispute with him before his death and was tired of him, so he does not care whether he dies or lives. Such a person is not offered condolences; condolences for what! In fact, if it were said that he is pleased by his death if he was a burden to him. But if we see a person truly bereaved and affected, we offer him condolences that resemble an admonition, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did with one of his daughters when she sent to him that her son or daughter was in the throes of death. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the one who came to invite him:
Tell her to be patient and to seek reward, for to Allah belongs what He has taken, and to Him belongs what He has left, and every thing with Him is by a specified term.
مُرها فلتصبر ولتحتسب، فإن لله ما أخذ، وله ما أبقى، وكل شيء عنده بأجلٍ مسمّىI advise my brothers, if they are struck by the death of one of their relatives or friends, to bear it and be patient and say what the patient say: "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return. O Allah, reward me in my affliction and replace for me something better than it." Abu Salama (may Allah be pleased with him) died, leaving behind his wife Umm Salama, and she loved him intensely and he loved her. And I heard from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that whoever is struck by a calamity and says:
O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it
اللهم أجرني في مصيبتي وأخلف لي خيراً منهاO Allah! Forgive Abu Salamah, raise his status among (Your) rightly guided servants, make his grave spacious, and fill it with light for him, and be his successor in taking good care of his descendants whom he has left behind, (and make them pious).
اللهم اغفر لأبي سلمة، وارفع درجته في المهديّين، وافسح له في قبره، ونوّر له فيه، واخلفه في عقبهAnd replace him in his offspring.
واخلفه في عقبهThe conclusion is: I advise my brothers, as advice for the sake of Allah Mighty and Majestic, to leave these customs that are not from the guidance of the righteous predecessors. And the righteous predecessors, and Allah is better than us in seeking nearness to Allah Mighty and Majestic and benefiting the deceased, never did this. And our Hanbali scholars, as well as the Shafi'i scholars, and perhaps others as well, have explicitly stated that gathering for condolences is an innovation. Some of them did not explicitly state that it is an innovation, but said: it is disliked. If you wish, refer to the books of the scholars on that so that it becomes clear to you.
I ask Allah the Exalted to guide us to His straight path.
The questioner : Yes. Amen.
The Shaykh : And to grant us success in following the methodology of the first of the earlier ones, from the emigrants and the helpers.
The questioner : Amen, may Allah reward you with good, O honorable Shaykh. This questioner is Umm Turki from Riyadh.