What is the ruling on a husband kissing his wife, and what is the meaning of "mubasharah" (intimacy) in the hadith?

The questioner : A husband kisses his wife while fasting. What is the ruling on that, and what does it mean for a fasting person to have intimacy with his wife?

The Shaykh : Yes, I say that the kissing mentioned in the question concerns two types of men: either he is a young man, or he is an old man or a middle-aged man. If he is a young man, then if he does that, it is permissible, and it is even more permissible for an old man. But it is said to the young man, as he (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the well-known hadith: It is said to him: Do not do it, because it is feared for you that it may lead to what is described in the saying of Shawqi of Egypt: "A glance, then a smile, then a greeting, then a conversation, then an appointment, then a meeting." Here, it has gone beyond what is the appointment, which is the kiss. It is feared that the greatest danger for the fasting person may occur, which is the meeting alluded to in this poetry, which is intercourse. In that case, he falls into a problem for which he has no reckoning until the incident occurs and he regrets it, but it is too late for regret. He must fast two consecutive months as expiation for his intercourse with his wife in Ramadan. So, whoever among the youth is of the type who has firmness and determination and controls his will, he may kiss and he may have intimacy. The word "mubasharah" came in the question, and the intended meaning of mubasharah is the man placing his body against his wife's body and doing with her what he wishes from what leads to his emission of fluid and follows the fluid, except for intercourse. If he has intercourse, we say: What is the expiation? So, whoever is of the type who has firmness and determination and controls himself so that he does not fall into intercourse, it is permissible for him, and there is nothing wrong with it. It is authentically narrated from Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him), as in the book Sahih Ibn Hibban with a sound chain, that a young man asked Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both). He said: I am a young man and I recently married a beautiful woman. May I kiss her? He said: Can you be patient? He said: Yes. He said: Kiss. He said: May I have intimacy with her? He said: Can you be patient? He said: I am patient. He said: Have intimacy. He said: May I strike my hand on her private part? He said: Can you be patient? He said: I am patient. He said: Strike. Hahaha. The point is to heed the point that Abdullah ibn Abbas, the interpreter of the Qur'an, dwelt upon, and you know his status and his knowledge. Be patient, be patient, be patient, strike, do what you wish, except do not have intercourse. As for the young man, whose nature is that he does not have patience, do you hear a discordant voice, a strange voice for the youth? The Lady Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) pointed to this reality that we dwelt upon just now: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) used to have intimacy with his wife while he was fasting. Then she warned: And which of you can control his desire as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) could control his desire? "Irb" here in the language is intended to mean two metaphorical meanings: one is his "irb," meaning his organ, and the other is his desire. And all roads, as they say, lead to the mill. So, whoever can control himself so that he does not fall into the forbidden intercourse for the fasting person in Ramadan, he may do so, following the example of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). And here, in the end, to heed the difference between the young man andThe Shaykh : I must mention a hadith and attach to it by mentioning something else related to the nature of the young man andThe Shaykh : As for the hadith, it is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was approached by a questioner, and he made the first part of his questionThe questioner : whether he may kiss while fasting. He answered him with "No." Then another came and asked him the same question, so he permitted it with that answer. So, one of the wise and intelligent people present noticed that the ruling differed. He said: O Messenger of Allah, so-and-so came to you and asked you about kissing, so you forbade it and prohibited it, and so-and-so came to you and you permitted it for him. He said:The questioner : The first was a young man, and the second was an old man. This must indeed be observed, as we mentioned just now. But the matter is such that I cannot say that Zayd among people is of this type and 'Amr among people is of that type. Rather, the matter is as Allah the Exalted said in the Noble Qur'an: As for the other matter that I mention, and with which I conclude the answer to this question: Some young man is an old man, and some old man is a young man. So, the criterion is not the apparent youth andThe Shaykh : the apparent old age. Therefore, I return and say: Rather, man is a witness over himself. So, every person, whether he is a young man or an old man, after he has known the ruling of the Shari'ah, he is the one who judges himself, and Allah is his accountant. Please.