The ruling on sitting to receive condolences and preparing food for the condolence visitors.

Al-Halabi : The brother here says:The questioner : It is reported in Sahih al-Bukhari, in the Book of Foods, from some of the female Companions that when a member of their family died, the women would gather for that and then disperse, except for her family and her close relatives. Then she ordered a large pot to be prepared. I think it is in the Book of Foods in Sahih al-Bukhari, from Aisha, that when a member of her family died, the women would gather for that and then disperse, except for her family and her close relatives. Then she ordered a large pot to be prepared with a type of food. Does this text or this report indicate that gathering at the deceased's home, and likewise preparing food, is permissible?

The Shaykh : If the gathering for condolences is not regulated, there is no harm in it. As for sitting to receive condolences and welcoming the condolence visitors under specific conditions and limits, as they say, for three days, and celebrating with them as if it were a wedding invitation or a celebration or something similar, this is undoubtedly from the mourning of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, so it is not permissible. This is a case, as the Hanafi scholars say, of a specific occurrence with no generality; it is not a rule from which other rulings are derived. If, for example, a person is stricken by a death and people come to him, both strangers and relatives, and so on, he should offer something to these relatives; it is a natural thing, as if they had come for any other occasion. But this is not what people do today; they invert his saying (peace and blessings be upon him) . The issue has absolutely no relation to what people do today.

The questioner : I mean, the gathering is not permissible in an absolute sense.

The Shaykh : It is not permissible in an absolute sense, yes.

The questioner : Al-Bukhari reported that when the news of Ja'far's death reached him, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said, "He sat in the house." In another narration, "in the mosque, and I was looking from... the door." The Maliki and Hanafi schools say that sitting to receive condolences is permissible. Is this permissible in an absolute sense?

The Shaykh : Regarding sitting to receive condolences, the answer has already been given at length. Sitting to receive condolences has a natural aspect and an artificial aspect, or a natural aspect and a contrived aspect. What happens today? What happens today is that if the bereaved person is a shop owner, his business is disrupted, and if he is an employee, they say he is allowed to be late, and so on. But the natural sitting that we understand from such texts is a man who is stricken by a death; he does not intentionally leave the house, nor does he intentionally sit in the house, but he remains going about as he was before. At the time he is sitting in the house, condolence visitors come. We do not say, "Drive them away," for sitting to receive condolences is not prescribed. We say that sitting to receive condolences is this contrived, artificial, and innovated sitting. As for a man, as we said earlier, who is stricken by a death, he goes to bury the deceased. Where does he go? He goes to his house, not to his workshop, not to his shop. What do they do today? He goes to his house. When does he go to his work? The first day, the second day, the third day is far away. He goes to this contrived, innovated sitting. So if this man buries the deceased and everything is finished, and he goes to his work, his job, his craft, and so on, and then he returns to the house according to his usual schedule, for example, if he is an employee, he returns at 2 o'clock or 4 o'clock depending on his job, and sits in the house, and people come to offer condolences, there is no harm. He returns in the evening after 'Isha', and people come to offer condolences, there is no harm. But there are people who see him in the mosque, see him on the road, and offer condolences. This is an uncounted condolence. When is it counted? When he sits to receive the condolence visitors and those who come to him for condolences in his house. This is the condolence that is recognized by them. So there is a clear distinction, in my belief, between what these texts indicate regarding the natural matter that proceeds perfectly among Muslims, and what people are doing today. That is something else entirely, and there is no problem with it, if Allah wills.