Ruling on gathering for condolences
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The questioner: Your Eminence, when people die, the bereaved sit in the house and face the condolence visitors. We have heard from you that this is a religious innovation. Is their sitting considered forbidden? Also, do they close their door to visitors and the telephone? And are those who go to them to offer condolences sinful? And what is the ruling regarding the father or mother in this matter?
In any case, we will limit ourselves to the first part, because our rule is not to go beyond the question.
Gathering for condolences is undoubtedly a religious innovation. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) had sons, uncles, and companions who died, and he never sat for a single day to receive condolences, even though he is the Lawgiver, and even though the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) were the most intense in consoling the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and offering him condolences. But they did not do this, and they did not flock to him to console him, and we have never been informed of this. Rather, Jarir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: [We considered gathering for the family of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing] And it is known that wailing is among the major sins, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the one who wails and the one who is consoled.
And I say to you from this place: Customs do not judge the Shari'ah; rather, the Shari'ah judges customs.Meaning: We must return customs to the Shari'ah, not return the Shari'ah to customs.We do not say: People have become accustomed to this. Did the pre-Islamic age of ignorance become accustomed to associating partners with Allah, and did the Messenger leave them as they were? And the sinners become accustomed to sinning, do we leave them? If this matter did not exist in the time of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) or the time of the Companions, why do we do it?! Moreover, this gathering is accompanied in some countries by lighting up the lights; you find the house as if it were a wedding house, with chairs arranged, and the people gathering inside and outside. Perhaps there is crying and wailing, and perhaps a reciter comes to recite for money, seeking worldly gain through the deeds of the Hereafter, so we assist him in this sin.
In conclusion: We see that this is among the religious innovations, and that it should be abandoned. The scholars before us have mentioned this; look at their books.But someone might say: If the relatives of the deceased want to come to the house of their relative to console him and then leave, without opening the door to receive people inside and outside, I hope there is no harm in this, and no blame.
Because sometimes, if your uncle or your brother dies, it is not maintaining family ties not to go to their house to console them. Go and console them, but without a gathering. Do you know why condolences were prescribed? They were prescribed so that we strengthen the bereaved in patience and endurance, not so that we gather with him just to be with him.
And therefore: If the one who has a relative who died did not care about his relative at all, and perhaps he is happy that he died because he had problems with him in this world, then he does not deserve condolences.Perhaps he says: He deserves congratulations, because his opponent has died. But people have become accustomed to going to console the one who has a relative who died and gathering with him. Some people slaughter animals.So we say: Do not burden yourself with a matter that is not recommended for you in the Shari'ah; it only involves wasting time and money, and contradicting the guidance of the Salaf.
In any case, we will limit ourselves to the first part, because our rule is not to go beyond the question.
Gathering for condolences is undoubtedly a religious innovation. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) had sons, uncles, and companions who died, and he never sat for a single day to receive condolences, even though he is the Lawgiver, and even though the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) were the most intense in consoling the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and offering him condolences. But they did not do this, and they did not flock to him to console him, and we have never been informed of this. Rather, Jarir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: [We considered gathering for the family of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing] And it is known that wailing is among the major sins, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the one who wails and the one who is consoled.
And I say to you from this place: Customs do not judge the Shari'ah; rather, the Shari'ah judges customs.Meaning: We must return customs to the Shari'ah, not return the Shari'ah to customs.We do not say: People have become accustomed to this. Did the pre-Islamic age of ignorance become accustomed to associating partners with Allah, and did the Messenger leave them as they were? And the sinners become accustomed to sinning, do we leave them? If this matter did not exist in the time of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) or the time of the Companions, why do we do it?! Moreover, this gathering is accompanied in some countries by lighting up the lights; you find the house as if it were a wedding house, with chairs arranged, and the people gathering inside and outside. Perhaps there is crying and wailing, and perhaps a reciter comes to recite for money, seeking worldly gain through the deeds of the Hereafter, so we assist him in this sin.
In conclusion: We see that this is among the religious innovations, and that it should be abandoned. The scholars before us have mentioned this; look at their books.But someone might say: If the relatives of the deceased want to come to the house of their relative to console him and then leave, without opening the door to receive people inside and outside, I hope there is no harm in this, and no blame.
Because sometimes, if your uncle or your brother dies, it is not maintaining family ties not to go to their house to console them. Go and console them, but without a gathering. Do you know why condolences were prescribed? They were prescribed so that we strengthen the bereaved in patience and endurance, not so that we gather with him just to be with him.
And therefore: If the one who has a relative who died did not care about his relative at all, and perhaps he is happy that he died because he had problems with him in this world, then he does not deserve condolences.Perhaps he says: He deserves congratulations, because his opponent has died. But people have become accustomed to going to console the one who has a relative who died and gathering with him. Some people slaughter animals.So we say: Do not burden yourself with a matter that is not recommended for you in the Shari'ah; it only involves wasting time and money, and contradicting the guidance of the Salaf.