There are some customs observed during condolence gatherings; after forty days have passed since the death, the deceased's family slaughters an animal and invites relatives and acquaintances to eat from this sacrifice.
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The questioner : There are some customs observed during condolence gatherings; after forty days have passed since the death, the deceased's family slaughters an animal and invites relatives and acquaintances to eat from this sacrifice, knowing that those invited to this feast are not in need. This is also considered a type of the forbidden wailing. Is there a sin on me for attending such occasions?
The Shaykh : First: We must know what the ruling on this custom is.
We say: This custom is a blameworthy religious innovation that involves wasting time, harming wealth, honoring the innovation, and engaging in wailing. Jarir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "We used to consider gathering with the family of the deceased and preparing food to be a form of wailing". It is obligatory to refrain from it, to put an end to it, and to eliminate it from existence.
As for attending it, it is not permissible to attend. It is obligatory for the one who is invited to it to advise the one who invited him, saying: Fear Allah for your own sake and fear Allah for your deceased. Do not be a cause of his torment through weeping over him or wailing. Save your wealth and save your time, and revere your Lord. The deceased has died and departed.
So, O my Muslim brother, do not compromise in the religion of Allah, do not let custom rule in the Shari'ah of Allah, and do not favor anyone in the religion of Allah. Rather, speak the truth even if it is bitter, unless this leads to a great harm that is much greater, such as: if a person commands what is right or forbids what is wrong, and commanding what is right and forbidding what is wrong results in a greater wrong. In that case, wisdom is to be accommodating and to try to remove the wrong gradually.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : First: We must know what the ruling on this custom is.
We say: This custom is a blameworthy religious innovation that involves wasting time, harming wealth, honoring the innovation, and engaging in wailing. Jarir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "We used to consider gathering with the family of the deceased and preparing food to be a form of wailing". It is obligatory to refrain from it, to put an end to it, and to eliminate it from existence.
As for attending it, it is not permissible to attend. It is obligatory for the one who is invited to it to advise the one who invited him, saying: Fear Allah for your own sake and fear Allah for your deceased. Do not be a cause of his torment through weeping over him or wailing. Save your wealth and save your time, and revere your Lord. The deceased has died and departed.
So, O my Muslim brother, do not compromise in the religion of Allah, do not let custom rule in the Shari'ah of Allah, and do not favor anyone in the religion of Allah. Rather, speak the truth even if it is bitter, unless this leads to a great harm that is much greater, such as: if a person commands what is right or forbids what is wrong, and commanding what is right and forbidding what is wrong results in a greater wrong. In that case, wisdom is to be accommodating and to try to remove the wrong gradually.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.