A questioner from Sweden says: Sometimes we are compelled to visit some Muslims to perform a duty, such as offering condolences or congratulations, but they do not seat the women separately
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The questioner : This questioner from Sweden says: Sometimes we are compelled to visit some Muslims to perform a duty, such as offering condolences or congratulations, but they do not seat the women separately from the men, meaning: they do not adhere to this religious requirement. So, should we boycott them and not visit them?
The Shaykh : This questioner described condolences and congratulations as obligatory, and this is not correct.
Condolences are not obligatory; rather, they are a recommended practice (sunnah). They are not a recommended practice for every relative whose relative has died, but they are a recommended practice for consoling the one afflicted by a death, whether the deceased was a relative or not. If the operative cause is the affliction, then one who has not been afflicted by the death of a relative is not offered condolences, and one who has been afflicted by the death of a friend or colleague is offered condolences. So, the operative cause in condolences is not kinship, but the affliction. Whenever it is known that this person is afflicted, he is offered condolences and it is said to him:, and this abode is not an abode of permanence, and the one who has not died today will die tomorrow, and similar words that console him and lift from him the heat of the affliction.
In any case, it is not obligatory, I mean condolences; rather, it is from what is recommended. If attending the condolence gathering necessitates the free mixing of men and women, then it is not permissible, because one cannot do a recommended thing for a forbidden thing.
Likewise, congratulations are even more so, for congratulations are not obligatory. The most that can be said is that they are permissible. They are shorter in status than condolences, because condolences are a recommended practice for the afflicted, while these are merely permissible.
If congratulations necessitate the mixing of men and women, then it is not permissible to go to them, except for one who has authority such that if he goes, he can separate the women from the men. In that case, his going becomes obligatory in order to remove this evil.
The Shaykh : This questioner described condolences and congratulations as obligatory, and this is not correct.
Condolences are not obligatory; rather, they are a recommended practice (sunnah). They are not a recommended practice for every relative whose relative has died, but they are a recommended practice for consoling the one afflicted by a death, whether the deceased was a relative or not. If the operative cause is the affliction, then one who has not been afflicted by the death of a relative is not offered condolences, and one who has been afflicted by the death of a friend or colleague is offered condolences. So, the operative cause in condolences is not kinship, but the affliction. Whenever it is known that this person is afflicted, he is offered condolences and it is said to him:
Be patient and seek reward, for Allah has what He has taken and what He has left, and everything with Him is by a specified term.
اصبر واحتسب فإن لله ما أخذ وله ما أبقى وكل شيء عنده بأجل مسمىIn any case, it is not obligatory, I mean condolences; rather, it is from what is recommended. If attending the condolence gathering necessitates the free mixing of men and women, then it is not permissible, because one cannot do a recommended thing for a forbidden thing.
Likewise, congratulations are even more so, for congratulations are not obligatory. The most that can be said is that they are permissible. They are shorter in status than condolences, because condolences are a recommended practice for the afflicted, while these are merely permissible.
If congratulations necessitate the mixing of men and women, then it is not permissible to go to them, except for one who has authority such that if he goes, he can separate the women from the men. In that case, his going becomes obligatory in order to remove this evil.