What is the ruling on marrying off young girls based on a mere promise?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : A very important question, may Allah reward you with good. This is a common custom where, for example, in a gathering, one person says to his neighbor, friend, or cousin, "Marry your young daughter to my son so-and-so." They are young, so he says, "Yes, I accepted, or I accepted marrying so-and-so to your son," and the other says, "I accepted," and the whole matter is just that, mere talk.
The Shaykh : This is a promise, not a contract.
The questioner : Why, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Because the meaning of "marry me" is that everyone knows I want to marry you to so-and-so, meaning when the time for your marriage comes. But now, one is in the cradle, the boy is crying for his mother's breast, and she is also crying for milk, just born. Does anyone say this one will marry this one?
The questioner : But O Shaykh, the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)Sunan Ibn Majah 2039Hasan (Darussalam).
The Shaykh : No, they are not saying it in jest. A contract in jest is like a contract in earnest, but we say this is not a contract, it is a promise. We have a similar case here where someone says, "I want you as a wife for my son..." Yes, this exists.
The questioner : And we have.
The Shaykh : Yes, and you, all of you, are from the people of Najd.
The questioner : We used to prohibit that, meaning.
The Shaykh : In any case, if you prohibit it, that is out of caution. Otherwise, if they came to me for judgment, I would not rule that it is a marriage contract. But yes, out of caution, no one should make a claim. The problem is that if a person considers this a marriage, and then the time for her marriage comes, he goes looking...
The questioner : Some people demand it, saying, "Wasn't so-and-so and so-and-so..."
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you, there is another issue with this. The witnesses may not be present, and if they are present, it lacks another thing, which, according to the stronger opinion, is the consent of the woman and the consent of the man as well. We do not know. In any case, this contract is not valid, and I see that it is not a contract but a promise, because everyone knows that a contract has a specific age and is done in a specific manner. Yes?
The questioner : ... the author's saying ...
The Shaykh : No, no, that is not the intended meaning. The intended meaning is that the contract must be by marriage and giving in marriage.
The questioner : There is no doubt ...
The Shaykh : This is a promise, not a contract.
The questioner : Why, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Because the meaning of "marry me" is that everyone knows I want to marry you to so-and-so, meaning when the time for your marriage comes. But now, one is in the cradle, the boy is crying for his mother's breast, and she is also crying for milk, just born. Does anyone say this one will marry this one?
The questioner : But O Shaykh, the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
There are three matters in which seriousness is serious
ثلاث جدّهن جد وهزلهن هزلThe Shaykh : No, they are not saying it in jest. A contract in jest is like a contract in earnest, but we say this is not a contract, it is a promise. We have a similar case here where someone says, "I want you as a wife for my son..." Yes, this exists.
The questioner : And we have.
The Shaykh : Yes, and you, all of you, are from the people of Najd.
The questioner : We used to prohibit that, meaning.
The Shaykh : In any case, if you prohibit it, that is out of caution. Otherwise, if they came to me for judgment, I would not rule that it is a marriage contract. But yes, out of caution, no one should make a claim. The problem is that if a person considers this a marriage, and then the time for her marriage comes, he goes looking...
The questioner : Some people demand it, saying, "Wasn't so-and-so and so-and-so..."
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you, there is another issue with this. The witnesses may not be present, and if they are present, it lacks another thing, which, according to the stronger opinion, is the consent of the woman and the consent of the man as well. We do not know. In any case, this contract is not valid, and I see that it is not a contract but a promise, because everyone knows that a contract has a specific age and is done in a specific manner. Yes?
The questioner : ... the author's saying ...
The Shaykh : No, no, that is not the intended meaning. The intended meaning is that the contract must be by marriage and giving in marriage.
The questioner : There is no doubt ...