Chapter on the Prohibition of Mutual Hatred, Severing Ties, and Turning Away: Allah the Exalted said: ((The believers are but brothers)).
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The reader: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
He (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "Chapter on the Prohibition of Mutual Hatred, Severing Ties, and Turning Away. Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Hujurat 49:10] And He said: [Al-Ma'idah 5:54] And He said: [Al-Fath 48:29]"
The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his book *Riyad al-Salihin*: "Chapter on the Prohibition of Mutual Hatred, Severing Ties, and Turning Away"
Mutual hatred is in the hearts, severing ties is in actions and words, and turning away is in actions. As for hatred in the hearts, it is for a person to hate his believing brother. And this, I mean hating a believer, is forbidden. Why do you hate him? One might say, "I hate him because he disobeys Allah (Mighty and Majestic)." We say: If he disobeys Allah, do not hate him with absolute hatred. The one who hates with absolute hatred in all circumstances is the disbeliever, because there is no good in him. As for the believer, even if he disobeys and persists in his sin, you must love him for the faith he possesses and dislike him for the open sinfulness and disobedience he possesses. If someone says, "How can hatred and love coexist?" we say: They coexist because each is directed at a different aspect; they do not agree in one place. I love him for his faith and dislike him for his open sinfulness. This is like a patient who is given medicine with a bitter taste and foul smell; he loves the medicine in one aspect and dislikes it in another. He loves it for the healing it contains and dislikes it for its taste or smell or the like. So the believer is your brother; you and he are on one foundation, which is faith. Why do you hate him with absolute hatred? I hate him for the sin he has; there is no harm in that. I love him for the faith he has. And this leads—meaning, if you love him for the faith he has and dislike him for the open sinfulness he has—to you advising him, because you believe he is your brother, so you love him and wish for him what you wish for yourself. So you advise him regarding the disobedience you dislike in him.
And from that is greeting him with peace. Greet him even if he is in sin, except if you know that if you leave off greeting him, he will be guided and his affairs will improve. In that case, boycotting becomes a beneficial medicine.
As for severing ties, it is cutting off the connection between you and your brother. Your believing brother has a right upon you to maintain ties with him, and it is not permissible for you to cut him off because he is your brother, even if he is disobedient. Therefore, you will find a person honoring his neighbor even if his neighbor is disobedient; he honors him because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih Muslim 47a Honor him even if he is disobedient, but advise him. Similarly, some people sever ties with their relatives because they cut them off or because they are in sin. This is a mistake. Maintain ties with your relatives even if they are disobedient. Maintain ties with them even if they cut you off, as meaning, it is as if you are putting hot ashes or hot dust into their hearts. Meaning, you continue to maintain ties with them even if they cut you off, even if they wrong you, even if they transgress against you. Maintain ties with them, because the one who does not maintain ties except when they maintain ties with him is not one who maintains ties, but rather one who is merely reciprocating.
Turning away is also not permissible between believers. But is it turning away in the hearts or turning away in the bodies, or both? Both. Do not turn away in the hearts, even if you find that your brother has turned away from you with his heart; draw near to him and face him.[Fussilat 41:34] If we applied these divine and prophetic directives, much good would come to us. But Satan plays tricks on us, saying, "How can you maintain ties with him when he cuts you off? How can you face him when he turns away from you? Leave him; there is no good in him." This is from the inspiration of Satan. As for Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), the texts of the Book and the Sunnah all forbid turning away. Similarly, turning away in the bodies: some people do not care to turn their faces away from people and to avert themselves. Perhaps out of arrogance, and may Allah protect us from that, they act haughtily, speaking to you while their face is turned to the other side. We ask Allah for safety from this. This is not permissible. Some people are like animals; you find them sitting in one place, each with his back to the other. What is this? This is not proper conduct, neither religiously prescribed conduct nor Arab conduct nor good character. You sit together, each with his back to the other.
Allah described the people of Paradise as being on couches, what? Facing each other. Facing each other is a praiseworthy and good attribute, and turning away is a blameworthy and vile attribute. But some people are uncultured; they have no Islamic upbringing, and you find them in gatherings turning away from each other. This is a mistake. And similar to this action is what some people do now when they finish the prayer and are in the row; they move forward, leaving the people behind them, facing them with their backs. In their mind, they imagine at that moment that they are great and that the people are behind them. Because I do not think anyone moves forward in this way without feeling, even if unintentionally, a sense of greatness. Therefore, you may find some of them puffing up and doing this with their hands. And I have seen you end this practice. If I find a person moving forward, I say, "Go back," because this resembles turning away; it resembles turning away. If he says, "By Allah, the space is tight for me and my back hurts, and I cannot remain sitting cross-legged," we say, the matter is broad and praise be to Allah. Stand up, move forward, be against the wall, and do as you wish, or move back. But to move forward in front of the people, with the people behind you, this is not befitting. These are three things: mutual hatred, secondly severing ties, and thirdly turning away. All of this is prohibited. As for discussing the verses, that will come, if Allah wills, in the next lesson. And Allah knows best. Yes.
The questioner : ... Is this evidence for ...
The Shaykh : No.
The questioner : ...
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
He (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "Chapter on the Prohibition of Mutual Hatred, Severing Ties, and Turning Away. Allah the Exalted said:
The believers are but brothers
إنما المؤمنون إخوةhumble toward the believers, powerful against the disbelievers
أذلة على المؤمنين أعزة على الكافرينMuhammad is the Messenger of Allah; and those with him are forceful against the disbelievers, merciful among themselves
محمد رسول الله والذين معه أشداء على الكفار رحماء بينهمThe Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his book *Riyad al-Salihin*: "Chapter on the Prohibition of Mutual Hatred, Severing Ties, and Turning Away"
Mutual hatred is in the hearts, severing ties is in actions and words, and turning away is in actions. As for hatred in the hearts, it is for a person to hate his believing brother. And this, I mean hating a believer, is forbidden. Why do you hate him? One might say, "I hate him because he disobeys Allah (Mighty and Majestic)." We say: If he disobeys Allah, do not hate him with absolute hatred. The one who hates with absolute hatred in all circumstances is the disbeliever, because there is no good in him. As for the believer, even if he disobeys and persists in his sin, you must love him for the faith he possesses and dislike him for the open sinfulness and disobedience he possesses. If someone says, "How can hatred and love coexist?" we say: They coexist because each is directed at a different aspect; they do not agree in one place. I love him for his faith and dislike him for his open sinfulness. This is like a patient who is given medicine with a bitter taste and foul smell; he loves the medicine in one aspect and dislikes it in another. He loves it for the healing it contains and dislikes it for its taste or smell or the like. So the believer is your brother; you and he are on one foundation, which is faith. Why do you hate him with absolute hatred? I hate him for the sin he has; there is no harm in that. I love him for the faith he has. And this leads—meaning, if you love him for the faith he has and dislike him for the open sinfulness he has—to you advising him, because you believe he is your brother, so you love him and wish for him what you wish for yourself. So you advise him regarding the disobedience you dislike in him.
And from that is greeting him with peace. Greet him even if he is in sin, except if you know that if you leave off greeting him, he will be guided and his affairs will improve. In that case, boycotting becomes a beneficial medicine.
As for severing ties, it is cutting off the connection between you and your brother. Your believing brother has a right upon you to maintain ties with him, and it is not permissible for you to cut him off because he is your brother, even if he is disobedient. Therefore, you will find a person honoring his neighbor even if his neighbor is disobedient; he honors him because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbour with kindness
من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليكرم جارهA man came to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I have a relative whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off. I do good to them, but they wrong me. I am patient with them," and he said another word. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If the matter is as you say, it is as if you are pouring molten lava on them."
جاء رجل إلى الرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام قال يا رسول الله إن لي رحما أصلهم ويقطعونني وأحسن إليهم ويسيئون إلي وأحلم عليهم وقال كلمة أخرى فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم إن كان الأمر كما قلت فكأنما تسفهم الملTurning away is also not permissible between believers. But is it turning away in the hearts or turning away in the bodies, or both? Both. Do not turn away in the hearts, even if you find that your brother has turned away from you with his heart; draw near to him and face him.
Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.
ادفع بالتي هي أحسن فإذا الذي بينك وبينه عداوة كأنه ولي حميمAllah described the people of Paradise as being on couches, what? Facing each other. Facing each other is a praiseworthy and good attribute, and turning away is a blameworthy and vile attribute. But some people are uncultured; they have no Islamic upbringing, and you find them in gatherings turning away from each other. This is a mistake. And similar to this action is what some people do now when they finish the prayer and are in the row; they move forward, leaving the people behind them, facing them with their backs. In their mind, they imagine at that moment that they are great and that the people are behind them. Because I do not think anyone moves forward in this way without feeling, even if unintentionally, a sense of greatness. Therefore, you may find some of them puffing up and doing this with their hands. And I have seen you end this practice. If I find a person moving forward, I say, "Go back," because this resembles turning away; it resembles turning away. If he says, "By Allah, the space is tight for me and my back hurts, and I cannot remain sitting cross-legged," we say, the matter is broad and praise be to Allah. Stand up, move forward, be against the wall, and do as you wish, or move back. But to move forward in front of the people, with the people behind you, this is not befitting. These are three things: mutual hatred, secondly severing ties, and thirdly turning away. All of this is prohibited. As for discussing the verses, that will come, if Allah wills, in the next lesson. And Allah knows best. Yes.
The questioner : ... Is this evidence for ...
The Shaykh : No.
The questioner : ...