Explanation of the words of Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) regarding what he quoted: "
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The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
The author stated, in what he quoted from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih Muslim 1468b.
Al-farak means hatred and enmity. It means that a believer does not become an enemy to a believing woman, such as his wife, nor does he hate her if he sees in her traits that he dislikes. This is because a person is obligated to act with justice and to treat those he deals with according to what their situation requires. Justice is to weigh the bad traits against the good ones, and to look at which is more numerous and which has a greater impact, and to give precedence to what is more numerous and what has a stronger effect. This is justice:[Al-Ma'idah 5:8], meaning that your hatred of them should not lead you to act unjustly. Be just, even if you hate them. For this reason, when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sent Abdullah ibn Rawahah to the people of Khaybar to estimate the value of their date fruit, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had previously made a deal with the people of Khaybar when he conquered it, whereby they would be exempt from the burden of labor, and they would be responsible for maintaining the palm trees and crops, and they would receive half the produce.
So he used to send someone to estimate the fruit for them. He sent Abdullah ibn Rawahah to them, and he gathered them and said to them:.
The point is that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded that a person should judge with justice and equity. He said:Sahih Muslim 1468b, meaning he should not hate her because of her traits. If he dislikes a trait in her, he should be pleased with another trait in her.
Suppose, for example, that she did a poor job preparing the coffee, but did a good job preparing the lunch or the dinner. She did poorly in one night’s sleep, but did well on other nights. She treated the children poorly once, but did well many times, and so on.
So if she does something wrong to you, do not look only at the wrong in the present moment. Look at the past and look to the future, and judge with justice.
And what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned regarding a woman also applies to others with whom you have dealings, friendship, or the like. If someone does you wrong one day, do not forget their kindness to you another time. Compare the two. If the kindness outweighs the wrong, then the ruling is in favor of the kindness. If the wrong outweighs the kindness, then look: if the person is worthy of forgiveness, forgive them,[Ash-Shuraa 42:40]. If the person is not worthy of forgiveness, then take your right. You are not to be blamed if you take your right, but look at the benefit.
In conclusion, a person should treat those with whom he has a connection, whether a spouse, a friend, or a business partner in buying and selling or otherwise, with justice. If he dislikes a trait in them or they do him wrong in a transaction, he should look at the other aspects so that he can compare the two. For this is the justice that Allah and His Messenger commanded,[An-Nahl 16:90]. And success is from Allah.
The author stated, in what he quoted from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
لا يَفرَك مؤمن مؤمنة، إن كره منها خلقاً رضي منها خلقاً آخرAl-farak means hatred and enmity. It means that a believer does not become an enemy to a believing woman, such as his wife, nor does he hate her if he sees in her traits that he dislikes. This is because a person is obligated to act with justice and to treat those he deals with according to what their situation requires. Justice is to weigh the bad traits against the good ones, and to look at which is more numerous and which has a greater impact, and to give precedence to what is more numerous and what has a stronger effect. This is justice:
O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah, witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ لِلَّهِ شُهَدَاءَ بِالْقِسْطِ وَلا يَجْرِمَنَّكُمْ شَنَآنُ قَوْمٍ عَلَى أَلَّا تَعْدِلُواSo he used to send someone to estimate the fruit for them. He sent Abdullah ibn Rawahah to them, and he gathered them and said to them:
O brothers of the monkeys and the pigs, I have come to you from the most beloved of people to me, and you are the most hateful to me, like your number of monkeys and pigs. But my love for him and my hatred for you should not lead me to be unjust to you. They said: By this the heavens and the earth stand firm.
يا إخوان القردة والخنازير، جئتكم من أحب الناس إلي، وإنكم لأبغض إلي من مثل عدتكم من القردة والخنازير، ولا يحملني حبي إياه وبغضي إياكم على أن لا أعدل فيكم، فقالوا: بهذا قامت السَّمَوَاتِ والأرضThe point is that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded that a person should judge with justice and equity. He said:
A believing man should not hate a believing woman
لا يَفرَك مؤمن مؤمنةSuppose, for example, that she did a poor job preparing the coffee, but did a good job preparing the lunch or the dinner. She did poorly in one night’s sleep, but did well on other nights. She treated the children poorly once, but did well many times, and so on.
So if she does something wrong to you, do not look only at the wrong in the present moment. Look at the past and look to the future, and judge with justice.
And what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned regarding a woman also applies to others with whom you have dealings, friendship, or the like. If someone does you wrong one day, do not forget their kindness to you another time. Compare the two. If the kindness outweighs the wrong, then the ruling is in favor of the kindness. If the wrong outweighs the kindness, then look: if the person is worthy of forgiveness, forgive them,
but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah
ومن عفا وأصلح فأجره على اللهIn conclusion, a person should treat those with whom he has a connection, whether a spouse, a friend, or a business partner in buying and selling or otherwise, with justice. If he dislikes a trait in them or they do him wrong in a transaction, he should look at the other aspects so that he can compare the two. For this is the justice that Allah and His Messenger commanded,