Explanation of Riyad al-Salihin-87b

The Shaykh : Mercy for this boy who is struggling with death The Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) weeping for this boy was not due to sadness, but rather he felt compassion and mercy for him because he was struggling with death. He said: May Allah make us and you among them
And among that is also the weeping that nature demands out of sadness for the separation from a loved one, as happened to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when his son (may Allah be pleased with him), his son Ibrahim, was born to Mary the Copt, whom the King of the Copts had gifted to him. She bore a child from him, and the boy grew up until he reached about sixteen months, meaning one year and four months. Then Allah the Exalted took him, and he was named Ibrahim, who is the Intimate Friend of the Merciful (peace be upon him). He was named Ibrahim, and when he reached approximately sixteen months, Allah the Exalted took him. He was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Thus said the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). The child passed away, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) informed: This type of weeping does not harm, because it is something that nature and innate disposition require, and it does not indicate a person's dissatisfaction with what Allah has decreed and destined.
As for the second type, it is the weeping in which a person wails. This weeping is the cause of the deceased being punished in his grave, and I seek refuge in Allah. That is, you are wailing, and your deceased is being punished in his grave for what was wailed over him. As long as you are wailing, the deceased is being punished, and you become the cause of his punishment in his grave, and I seek refuge in Allah. For this reason, some people err, and we ask Allah for safety. When a relative dies, they are in a corner of the house, wailing and crying, "Ah, ah, ah." As long as he does this, he punishes the deceased in his grave because of his weeping over him, as established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the hadith of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him). It is obligatory for a person to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, and to know that the greatness of the reward is due to the greatness of the calamity, and that the greater the calamity, the greater the reward.
As for the hadith of Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: This is something people did in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. When a calamity struck them, they would tear their garments like this, or slap their cheeks, or pull out their hair, and call out with the calls of the pre-Islamic age: "Oh, my woe! Oh, my destruction! Oh, the breaking of my back!" and the like. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) disavowed these people because the believer believes in Allah and believes in the decree of Allah. He knows that the situation cannot change from what it was, and that this is a matter that has been decreed and finished. It was written before the heavens and the earth were created by fifty thousand years. The pens have been dried up and the scrolls rolled up. The situation cannot change from what it was, no matter what. So what is the benefit of distress? What is the benefit of dissatisfaction? It is nothing but a command or whisper from Satan to deprive you of the reward on one hand, and to cause the deceased to be punished on the other hand. So you, my brother, must fear Allah the Exalted, be patient, seek reward, and say as Allah has commanded, as Allah has praised those who say: Who are they? And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Thus, a person must be patient, seek reward, and know that sadness and weeping in wailing do not benefit anything. Everything is finished. If someone traveled, for example, and was involved in an accident, would he say, "If I had not traveled, I would have been safe"? This is impossible, as Allah said: Look, He said this because they said, "Sit down, do not fight in the path of Allah." So they fought and were killed. They said, "If we had obeyed them, we would not have been killed." Allah the Exalted said: There is no escape from death. So you must be patient, seek reward, and say: "Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we return. O Allah, reward me in my calamity and replace for me something better than it." Allah will reward you in your calamity and replace for you something better than it. And this is the story of Umm Salama. Her husband Abu Salama died, and he was one of the most beloved people to her. She was sad at his separation. She had heard the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) say: So she said this. She said: "O Allah, reward me in my calamity and replace for me something better than it." And she said to herself: "Who is better than Abu Salama?" Abu Salama was her husband; he pleased her, he loved her, and she loved him. She wondered who would be better than Abu Salama. She did not doubt the news; she was certain that it was true and correct, but she said, "Who will come?" No sooner had her waiting period ended than the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) proposed to her, and he was better than Abu Salama. Allah replaced for her something better than her calamity, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) became the one who raised her children. Her children came under the care of the Messenger (peace be upon him). And this is also the result of another story.
Your soul, when it leaves your body, the eye sees it, by the permission of Allah, sees it leaving, and follows it. Five supplications weigh the world and what is on it. We have identified one of these supplications, and the rest, if Allah wills, are answered. The one we identified is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) replaced Abu Salama in his lineage, so he became the husband of his wife and the one who raised his children, because they lived in the care of the Messenger (peace be upon him). The important thing is that a person must be patient during calamities, recite the remembrance, and say: "O Allah, reward me in my calamity and replace for me something better than it." There is no harm in natural weeping that does not involve wailing, because this happened to the best of people, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). And success is from Allah.