Explanation of the hadith narrated by Abu Burdah, who said: Abu Musa fell ill and lost consciousness, and his head was in the lap of a woman from his household
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The reader: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) transmitted in the context of the hadiths in "The Chapter on the Prohibition of Wailing over the Dead
from Abu Burdah, who saidSahih al-Bukhari 1296 Agreed upon by al-Bukhari and Muslim
The wailer: the one who raises her voice in wailing and lamentation
The shaver: the one who shaves her head upon a calamity
The tearer: the one who tears her garment
And from al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) saySahih Muslim 933a Agreed upon by al-Bukhari and Muslim
And from Umm Atiyyah Nasaibah (may Allah be pleased with her), who saidRiyad as-Salihin 1661 Agreed upon by al-Bukhari and Muslim
And from al-Nu'man ibn Bashir (may Allah be pleased with them both), who saidRiyad as-Salihin 1662 Narrated by al-Bukhari
And from Ibn 'Umar .. "
The Shaykh : ...
The reader : " And from Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), who saidRiyad as-Salihin 1663 Agreed upon by al-Bukhari and Muslim
And from Abu Malik al-Ash'ari (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) saidSahih Muslim 934 Narrated by Muslim
And from Usayd ibn Abi Usayd, a Successor, from a woman among those who pledged allegiance, who said كان فيما أخذ علينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم في المعروف الذي أخذ علينا أن لا نعصيه فيه أن لا نخمش وجها ولا ندعوا ويلا ولا نشق جيبا وأن لا ننشر شعرا رواه أبو داود بإسناد حسن
وعن أبي موسى رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ما من ميت يموت فيقوم باكيهم فيقول وا جبلاه وا سيداه أو نحو ذلك إلا وكل به ملكان يلهزانه أهكذا كنت رواه الترمذي وقال حديث حسن
وعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم اثنتان في الناس هما بهم كفر الطعن في النسب والنياحة على الميت رواه مسلم " Among the things the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) took from us in the good that he took from us, which was that we would not disobey him in it, was that we would not scratch our faces, not wail, not tear our garments, and not pull out our hair. Abu Dawud narrated it with a good chain. And from Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "There is no one who dies and his mourners stand up and say, 'Woe to his fate, woe to his master,' or the like of that, but that two angels are assigned to him who strike him, saying, 'Was this how you were?'" Al-Tirmidhi narrated it and said, "It is a good hadith." And from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Two things among the people are disbelief: slandering lineage and wailing over the dead." Muslim narrated it.
The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
These hadiths that al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) cited in his book *Riyad al-Salihin* all indicate the prohibition of wailing and lamentation over the dead
As for wailing, it is crying with a loud voice until it becomes like the cooing of pigeons. And as for lamentation, it is mentioning the virtues of the deceased and sighing over them and expressing grief. I will mention some of the hadiths regarding this
The hadith of Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him) The wailer is from *salq*, which is raising the voice, meaning that she disturbs, she disturbs, she screams upon a calamity. So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is innocent of this, and we testify to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) that we are innocent of everyone from whom the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is innocent, and of every action from which he is innocent
As for the shaver, it is that it was the custom of women in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance that when a woman was struck by the death of a relative, she would shave her head, as if she were angry and upset. The head is taken as adornment for women, and its length and thickness are desirable for women. But in our current time, when people have opened up to the women of the disbelievers or those who imitate them, the woman tries to shorten her head hair so that it is like a man's head, may Allah protect us from that
As for the tearer, she is the one who tears her garment upon a calamity, and also the one who dishevels her hair upon a calamity. Every action that indicates dissatisfaction is included in this innocence from which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) is innocent
And in these hadithsRiyad as-Salihin 1664
The tunic means the garment, and the coat is what clings to the body. The meaning is that her skin is scabby, may Allah protect us from that. Scab is known as an itch that causes the skin to break out in sores. If her skin is scabby and she is wearing a tunic of pitch, this becomes more intense burning in the Fire, may Allah protect us from that. But if she repents before her death, Allah will accept her repentance, because whoever repents from any sin before he dies, Allah will accept his repentance
And also among these hadiths is meaning "Listen." So the interrogative here means a command, i.e., listen, listen. Sahih Muslim 924 means that Allah does not punish for crying and sorrow, but He punishes for speech and voice, or He shows mercy. For example, if a person is struck by a calamity and says "Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we return," believing in it with his heart, believing that we are the property of Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in ownership, decree, and management, and that we are returning to Him in all our affairs and will meet Him on the Day of Resurrection. If he believes in this, and then also says what is in the hadith of Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) Sahih Muslim 918a, then he will be rewarded for ... and shown mercy for this speech. But if he keeps saying "Woe to you," "Woe to me," "Woe to the one who is gone," and the like of that, then he will be punished for it, may Allah protect us from that. And the meaning of "Woe to you" is that this deceased was like a mountain, a refuge for me, and I have lost him. So it is a form of lamentation with praise
So the summary of these hadiths is that crying that comes from mere nature is permissible. But as for wailing, lamentation, striking the cheeks, tearing the garment, plucking the hair, or shaving it, or disheveling it, all of this is forbidden, and it is from what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) is innocent of. And success is from Allah.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) transmitted in the context of the hadiths in "The Chapter on the Prohibition of Wailing over the Dead
from Abu Burdah, who said
Abu Musa got seriously ill, fainted and could not reply to his wife while he was lying with his head in her lap. When he came to his senses, he said, "I am innocent of those, of whom Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was innocent. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) is innocent of a woman who cries aloud (or slaps her face) who shaves her head and who tear off her clothes (on the falling of a calamity)
وجع أبو موسى فغشي عليه ورأسه في حجر امرأة من أهله فأقبلت تصيح برنة فلم يستطع أن يرد عليها شيئا فلما افاق قال أنا بريء ممن برئ منه رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم برئ من الصالقة والحالقة والشاقةThe wailer: the one who raises her voice in wailing and lamentation
The shaver: the one who shaves her head upon a calamity
The tearer: the one who tears her garment
And from al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) say
He who is lamented upon would be punished because of the lamentation for him on the Day of judgment.
من نيح عليه فإنه يعذب بما نيح عليه يوم القيامةAnd from Umm Atiyyah Nasaibah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said
the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took from us an oath that we would not wail
أخذ علينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عند البيعة أن لا ننوحAnd from al-Nu'man ibn Bashir (may Allah be pleased with them both), who said
When 'Abdullah bin Rawahah (May Allah be pleased with him) became unconscious, his sister began to weep and shout: "Alas! For the mountain among men. Alas! for such and such (mentioning his virtuous qualities)." When he recovered his consciousness, he said: "I was asked (disapprovingly, by the angels) about everything you said concerning me whether I am as you said."
أغمي على عبدالله بن رواحة رضي الله عنه فجعلت أخته تبكي وتقول وا جبلاه وا كذا وا كذا تعدد عليه فقال حين أفاق ما قلت شيئا إلا قيل لي أنت كذلكAnd from Ibn 'Umar .. "
The Shaykh : ...
The reader : " And from Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), who said
Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Sa'd bin 'Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf, Sa'd bin Abu Waqqas and 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with them). When they entered his house, they found him unconscious. The Messenger of Allah asked, "Has he died?" They replied: "No, O Messenger of Allah." Hearing this the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) began to weep. When his Companions saw this, they also began to weep too. He said, "Listen attentively: Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but takes to task or show mercy because of the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue)." [Al- Bukhari and Muslim] .
اشتكى سعد بن عبادة رضي الله عنه شكوى فأتاه رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يعوده مع عبدالرحمن بن عوف وسعد بن أبي وقاص وعبدالله بن مسعود رضي الله عنهم فلما دخل عليه وجده في غشية فقال أقضى قالوا لا يا رسول الله فبكى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فلما رأى القوم بكاء النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بكوا قال ألا تسمعون إن الله لا يعذب بدمع العين ولا بحزن القلب ولكن يعذب بهذا وأشار إلى لسانه أو يرحمAnd from Abu Malik al-Ash'ari (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said
If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange.
النائحة إذا لم تتب قبل موتها تقام يوم القيامة وعليها سربال من قطران ودرع من جربAnd from Usayd ibn Abi Usayd, a Successor, from a woman among those who pledged allegiance, who said كان فيما أخذ علينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم في المعروف الذي أخذ علينا أن لا نعصيه فيه أن لا نخمش وجها ولا ندعوا ويلا ولا نشق جيبا وأن لا ننشر شعرا رواه أبو داود بإسناد حسن
وعن أبي موسى رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ما من ميت يموت فيقوم باكيهم فيقول وا جبلاه وا سيداه أو نحو ذلك إلا وكل به ملكان يلهزانه أهكذا كنت رواه الترمذي وقال حديث حسن
وعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم اثنتان في الناس هما بهم كفر الطعن في النسب والنياحة على الميت رواه مسلم " Among the things the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) took from us in the good that he took from us, which was that we would not disobey him in it, was that we would not scratch our faces, not wail, not tear our garments, and not pull out our hair. Abu Dawud narrated it with a good chain. And from Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "There is no one who dies and his mourners stand up and say, 'Woe to his fate, woe to his master,' or the like of that, but that two angels are assigned to him who strike him, saying, 'Was this how you were?'" Al-Tirmidhi narrated it and said, "It is a good hadith." And from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Two things among the people are disbelief: slandering lineage and wailing over the dead." Muslim narrated it.
The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
These hadiths that al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) cited in his book *Riyad al-Salihin* all indicate the prohibition of wailing and lamentation over the dead
As for wailing, it is crying with a loud voice until it becomes like the cooing of pigeons. And as for lamentation, it is mentioning the virtues of the deceased and sighing over them and expressing grief. I will mention some of the hadiths regarding this
The hadith of Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him)
He fainted, and his head was in the lap of one of his family members, and this woman whose lap his head was in began to cry with a loud wail, meaning with wailing. When he regained consciousness, (may Allah be pleased with him), he said, "I am innocent of what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) disavowed. Indeed, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) disavowed the one who raises her voice, the one who shaves her head, and the one who tears her garment."
أنه غشي عليه ورأسه في حجر بعض أهله فجعلت هذه المرأة التي هو في حجرها تبكي برنة يعني بنياحة فلما أفاق رضي الله عنه قال أنا بريء مما برئ منه النبي صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم إن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم برئ من الصالقة والحالقة والشاقةAs for the shaver, it is that it was the custom of women in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance that when a woman was struck by the death of a relative, she would shave her head, as if she were angry and upset. The head is taken as adornment for women, and its length and thickness are desirable for women. But in our current time, when people have opened up to the women of the disbelievers or those who imitate them, the woman tries to shorten her head hair so that it is like a man's head, may Allah protect us from that
As for the tearer, she is the one who tears her garment upon a calamity, and also the one who dishevels her hair upon a calamity. Every action that indicates dissatisfaction is included in this innocence from which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) is innocent
And in these hadiths
If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a garment of scabies
أن النائحة إذا لم تتب قبل موتها فإنها تقام يوم القيامة من قبرها وعليها سربال من قطران ودرع من جربThe tunic means the garment, and the coat is what clings to the body. The meaning is that her skin is scabby, may Allah protect us from that. Scab is known as an itch that causes the skin to break out in sores. If her skin is scabby and she is wearing a tunic of pitch, this becomes more intense burning in the Fire, may Allah protect us from that. But if she repents before her death, Allah will accept her repentance, because whoever repents from any sin before he dies, Allah will accept his repentance
And also among these hadiths is
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) wept when he saw that Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas (may Allah be pleased with him) had fainted, so those of the Companions with him wept, and then he (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Do you not hear? Do you not hear?"
أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بكى لما رأى سعد بن عبادة رضي الله عنه قد غشي عليه فبكى من معه من الصحابة ثم قال صلى الله عليه وسلم ألا تسمعون ألا تسمعونAllah does not punish for the tears that the eye sheds or the grief the heart feels, but He punishes for this (pointing to his tongue), or He may show mercy.
إن الله لا يعذب ببكاء العين ولا بحزن القلب ولكن يعذب بهذا وأشار إلى لسانه أو يرحمO Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it
اللهم آجرني في مصيبتي واخلف لي خيرا منهاSo the summary of these hadiths is that crying that comes from mere nature is permissible. But as for wailing, lamentation, striking the cheeks, tearing the garment, plucking the hair, or shaving it, or disheveling it, all of this is forbidden, and it is from what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) is innocent of. And success is from Allah.