And prayers and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions: He said (may Allah have mercy on him):
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The reader: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may prayers and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions:
He said (may Allah have mercy on him): "Chapter on the dislike of a father preferring some of his children over others in gifts:
Al-Nu'man ibn Bashir (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported:Bulugh al-Maram 7:183 .
In a narration:Sahih Muslim 1623e.
In another narration:Riyad as-Salihin 1773.
In another narration:Sahih Muslim 1623h.
In another narration:Sunan Abi Dawud 3542 .
Then he said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3019 Agreed upon by al-Bukhari and Muslim " .
The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his book *Riyad al-Salihin*: "Chapter on the prohibition of preferring some children over others in gifts" :
Children includes males and females, and the meaning of gift is pure generosity, not maintenance. Maintenance is giving each person what he needs, whether little or much. So if one of them seeks knowledge and needs books, and the other does not, and you give the first one the books he needs, there is no harm. Likewise, if one of them needs clothes and the other does not, you give the one who needs clothes. Likewise, if one of them falls ill and needs money and medicine, and you give it to him, there is no harm. Likewise, if one of them reaches the age of marriage and you marry him off, you marry him off and there is no harm. The important thing is what is for removing a need; the equality in that is to give each person what he needs. But if it is pure generosity, it is obligatory to be just among them.
The scholars differed: Is equality giving the male and the female the same, so if you give the male one hundred, you give the female one hundred? Or is equality giving them as Allah the Mighty and Majestic gave them in inheritance, meaning the male has the share of two females, so if you give the male one hundred, you give the female fifty? This is the stronger position, because there is no division more just than the division of Allah the Mighty and Majestic.
So if you give each one what he needs, and then you give pure generosity, we say: If you give the female one dirham, give the male two dirhams. This is the equality. If he does so, meaning he prefers some of the children over others, it is obligatory for him to return what he preferred with. So if he gave one of them one hundred and did not give the others, it is obligatory for him to return the one hundred, meaning he takes it back or gives the others what he gave the first one, or he seeks their forgiveness on the condition that they forgive him out of satisfaction and willingness, not out of shyness and embarrassment.
So the way of justice for one who prefers some of his children over others has three paths. Justice has three paths:
The first: That he returns what he preferred with.
The second: That he gives the others the same, and the male has the share of two females.
The third: That he seeks their forgiveness on the condition that they forgive him out of satisfaction and willingness, not out of embarrassment and shyness.
Then the author mentioned the hadith of Al-Nu'man ibn Bashir ibn Sa'd al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave him a gift, a male slave, and in another narration a garden, and perhaps he gave him the garden and the slave so that he would work in the garden. So his mother, 'Amrah bint Rawhah (may Allah be pleased with her), and she was a jurist, said: "I am not satisfied that you give this son of yours without his brothers until you have the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) witness it." So Bashir ibn Sa'd (may Allah be pleased with him) went to have the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) witness it, and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him: meaning return what you gave. Then he said: Sunan Abi Dawud 3542 : And this is a disavowal from him, not a permission for him to witness that, but it is a disavowal from him. For this reason he said: : Because if you prefer one of them over the other, something remains in the heart of the one who was not preferred, and he does not treat his father with kindness.
Then he said:Sahih al-Bukhari 2587 : So he (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered us to be just among the children in gifts, even if you give one of them ten riyals, give the other the same. Do not say: "This is a small thing that is not worth asking permission for." Never, if it is one riyal, do not give it to him unless you give the second one. Until the righteous Salaf (may Allah be pleased with them): "When they accepted one of the children, they accepted the second" : because of the intensity of their justice among them.
Likewise, in looking at them, do not look at this one with a look of anger and at this one with a look of satisfaction. No, be just among them even in facing them and the openness of the face, unless one of them does something that angers, that has its own matter, but without a reason, make them equal and do not prefer one over another.
And here is an issue: Some people marry off their older children, and they have younger children, so they bequeath to them after their death the amount of the mahr. This is forbidden and not permissible, because these are given to them for their need, a need that their other younger brothers do not share. So it is not permissible for you to bequeath to them anything. And if he bequeaths, the bequest is invalid and is returned to the estate, and they inherit it according to their inheritance shares.
Likewise, some people have a son who works with them in their trade or farming, and they give him a preference over his brothers. This is also not permissible, because if the son has volunteered to work with his father, this is kindness and its reward in the Hereafter is greater than its reward in this world. And if he does not want that, and wants to work for his father for a wage, let him set a wage for him, saying for example: "For you every month so much and so much," as is set for a stranger, or he says to you: "A share of the profit," as is set for a stranger. And as for giving him a special share among his children while the son has volunteered to work and made that part of kindness, it is not permissible for him to do that.
And if he gave one of them because he is a student of knowledge memorizing the Qur'an, and if he said to the others: "Whoever seeks knowledge from you, I will give him like his brother," or "Whoever memorizes the Qur'an, I will give him like his brother," and some of them sought and some left, then these are the ones who left the matter to themselves, so they have no right.
And as for if he gave this one without opening the door to his brothers, this is not permissible.
And it is known from the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 2587 : That relatives other than children do not require justice among them. So you may give some of your brothers more than the others, or give them and withhold from the others, because the text only came regarding children. And as for the saying of some scholars (may Allah have mercy on them): "That it is obligatory for him to be just among all the heirs according to their inheritance shares" , this is a saying with no evidence. Justice is only obligatory among whom? Among the children only. And Allah grants success.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may prayers and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions:
He said (may Allah have mercy on him): "Chapter on the dislike of a father preferring some of his children over others in gifts:
Al-Nu'man ibn Bashir (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported:
His father brought him to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and said, "I have given this son of mine a slave, who was belonging to me." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) asked, "Have you given all your children the like of him?" He replied, "No." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) then said, "Take him back then."
أن أباه أتى به رسولَ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال : إني نحلت ابني هذا غلامًا كان لي ، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : أَكُلَّ ولدك نحلته مثل هذا ؟ فقال : لا، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : فأرجعهIn a narration:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to him: Have you done the same with every son of yours? He said: No. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Fear Allah, and observe equity in case of your children. My father returned and got back the gift.
فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : أفعلت هذا بولدك كلهم ؟ قال : لا ، قال : اتقوا الله واعدلوا في أولادكم ، فرجع أبي فرد تلك الصدقةIn another narration:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked, "Have you other children besides this one?" He said, "Yes." The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked, "Have you awarded a gift like this to all of them." He said, "No." The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "I am not going to bear witness to this act of injustice."
فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : يا بشير ألك ولد سوى هذا ؟ قال : نعم ، قال: أكلهم وهبت له مثل هذا ؟ قال : لا، قال : فلا تشهدني إذا فإني لا أشهد على جورIn another narration:
Call me not as witness to an injustice
لا تشهدني على جورIn another narration:
call some other person than me as witness to it
أشهد على هذا غيريThen he said:
Would you like them to show you equal filial piety?” When he replied that he would, he said, "Don’t do it then.”
أيسرك أن يكونوا إليك في البر سواء ؟ قال : بلى ، قال : فلا إذنThe Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
The author (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his book *Riyad al-Salihin*: "Chapter on the prohibition of preferring some children over others in gifts" :
Children includes males and females, and the meaning of gift is pure generosity, not maintenance. Maintenance is giving each person what he needs, whether little or much. So if one of them seeks knowledge and needs books, and the other does not, and you give the first one the books he needs, there is no harm. Likewise, if one of them needs clothes and the other does not, you give the one who needs clothes. Likewise, if one of them falls ill and needs money and medicine, and you give it to him, there is no harm. Likewise, if one of them reaches the age of marriage and you marry him off, you marry him off and there is no harm. The important thing is what is for removing a need; the equality in that is to give each person what he needs. But if it is pure generosity, it is obligatory to be just among them.
The scholars differed: Is equality giving the male and the female the same, so if you give the male one hundred, you give the female one hundred? Or is equality giving them as Allah the Mighty and Majestic gave them in inheritance, meaning the male has the share of two females, so if you give the male one hundred, you give the female fifty? This is the stronger position, because there is no division more just than the division of Allah the Mighty and Majestic.
So if you give each one what he needs, and then you give pure generosity, we say: If you give the female one dirham, give the male two dirhams. This is the equality. If he does so, meaning he prefers some of the children over others, it is obligatory for him to return what he preferred with. So if he gave one of them one hundred and did not give the others, it is obligatory for him to return the one hundred, meaning he takes it back or gives the others what he gave the first one, or he seeks their forgiveness on the condition that they forgive him out of satisfaction and willingness, not out of shyness and embarrassment.
So the way of justice for one who prefers some of his children over others has three paths. Justice has three paths:
The first: That he returns what he preferred with.
The second: That he gives the others the same, and the male has the share of two females.
The third: That he seeks their forgiveness on the condition that they forgive him out of satisfaction and willingness, not out of embarrassment and shyness.
Then the author mentioned the hadith of Al-Nu'man ibn Bashir ibn Sa'd al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave him a gift, a male slave, and in another narration a garden, and perhaps he gave him the garden and the slave so that he would work in the garden. So his mother, 'Amrah bint Rawhah (may Allah be pleased with her), and she was a jurist, said: "I am not satisfied that you give this son of yours without his brothers until you have the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) witness it." So Bashir ibn Sa'd (may Allah be pleased with him) went to have the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) witness it, and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:
Do you have sons? He said: “Yes.” He said: “Did you give them the like of what you gave al-Nu'man?” He said: “No.” He said: “Return it.”
ألك بنون ؟ قال : نعم ، قال: أعطيتهم مثل ما أعطيت النعمان قال : لا ، قال : ردcall some other person than me as witness to it
أشهد على هذا غيريHave someone else witness this, for I do not witness for injustice. Then he said: “Do you want them to be equal to you in kindness?” He said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “Then be equal among them.”
أشهد على هذا غيري فإني لا أشهد على جور ، ثم قال : أتريد أن يكونوا إليك في البر سواء ؟ قال : نعم يا رسول الله ، قال : إذن سوي بينهمThen he said:
Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.
اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكمLikewise, in looking at them, do not look at this one with a look of anger and at this one with a look of satisfaction. No, be just among them even in facing them and the openness of the face, unless one of them does something that angers, that has its own matter, but without a reason, make them equal and do not prefer one over another.
And here is an issue: Some people marry off their older children, and they have younger children, so they bequeath to them after their death the amount of the mahr. This is forbidden and not permissible, because these are given to them for their need, a need that their other younger brothers do not share. So it is not permissible for you to bequeath to them anything. And if he bequeaths, the bequest is invalid and is returned to the estate, and they inherit it according to their inheritance shares.
Likewise, some people have a son who works with them in their trade or farming, and they give him a preference over his brothers. This is also not permissible, because if the son has volunteered to work with his father, this is kindness and its reward in the Hereafter is greater than its reward in this world. And if he does not want that, and wants to work for his father for a wage, let him set a wage for him, saying for example: "For you every month so much and so much," as is set for a stranger, or he says to you: "A share of the profit," as is set for a stranger. And as for giving him a special share among his children while the son has volunteered to work and made that part of kindness, it is not permissible for him to do that.
And if he gave one of them because he is a student of knowledge memorizing the Qur'an, and if he said to the others: "Whoever seeks knowledge from you, I will give him like his brother," or "Whoever memorizes the Qur'an, I will give him like his brother," and some of them sought and some left, then these are the ones who left the matter to themselves, so they have no right.
And as for if he gave this one without opening the door to his brothers, this is not permissible.
And it is known from the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him):