The Ruling on a Father Assisting His Son in Marriage

Question:
The first message in this episode is from listener Ahmad Mansur Muhammad Asiri. Brother Ahmad has a somewhat lengthy case, the summary of which is that he got married, and that marriage cost him large sums of money. At that point, he needed his father to help him with the costs of married life and living with his wife, but his father turned away from him and did not help him in any way. At that point, he seeks your guidance for him and those like him. May Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow his guidance. As for what follows:
There is no doubt that marriage is among the most important matters, and it is a prescribed sunnah (recommended practice). It may become obligatory if one has the ability, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): .
This hadith indicates that marriage is obligatory if one has the ability, because of the great benefits involved, such as preserving the man’s chastity and protecting him from the causes of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation), and because of the offspring that results from it and the increase of the ummah (the Muslim community). If a man cannot afford it, but his father can, then it is obligatory for his father to marry him off, because the cost of marriage is like the cost of food, drink, and clothing. It is obligatory for the father to provide for his children what they need, such as food and clothing, and it is also obligatory for him to provide for the cost of their marriage, because every person needs that, if he is able to do so.
As for if he is not able, then he is excused [Al-Taghabun:16]. What I advise all Muslims to do is to strive to marry off their sons and daughters, and to help in that, out of concern for their chastity and their distance from evil, and in accordance with the texts indicating that, such as His saying in His great Book: [An-Nur:32] and His saying (Exalted and Majestic is He): [An-Nisa:3]. And for this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: the hadith, and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: .
So it is obligatory for fathers to marry off their children who are unable to do so, if the father is able to marry off his son. It is also obligatory for him to strive to marry off his daughter and be concerned about it. Likewise, if a sister does not have a father, her brother should strive to marry her off if a suitable suitor proposes to her, and he should not do anything to obstruct the marriage without a legitimate Shari'ah reason, because striving to marry off sons and daughters is helping them toward good and toward chastity from the causes of evil. So it is obligatory for everyone, men and women, to cooperate in that. Yes.

The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good. If this son has an income, but he was negligent with his income and squandered it here and there, is it then upon the father...

The Shaykh: The criterion is the state at the time of marriage. If at the time of marriage he has the ability, it is not obligatory for the father to give him anything in that, except if he gives his brothers the same. As for if the son has wealth with which he can marry, then it is not obligatory for the father to help him in that. The fact that the son may have some foolishness and may have been negligent with some wealth, the criterion is the state at the time of the marriage contract, and previous negligence does not prevent assistance.