Ruling on sitting with the suitor in the presence of a mahram and repeating the sitting
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Our sister Nadiya from Algeria asks about sitting in front of the suitor in the presence of the family. Is this permissible or not?
Answer: There is no harm in sitting in front of the suitor so that he can look at her without seclusion, provided her father, her brother, a woman, her mother, or someone similar is with her. He must not be alone with her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the suitor:, and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 6:1350.
The point is that if it is possible for him to look at her, that is appropriate; because this is closer to establishing harmony between them, closer to the success of the proposal, and closer to the success of the marriage. However, he must not be alone with her; rather, he sees her in the presence of others, such as her father or someone similar. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. Regarding repeating the sitting, Your Eminence, she is asking about repeating the sitting?
The Shaykh: If there is a need to repeat it, there is nothing wrong with it, for example, if the first time was not sufficient, or the second time. If there is a need, there is no blame, so that he knows her well and she knows him well.
The presenter: But continuously.
The Shaykh: But continuously without need, that is not appropriate, because the original ruling is prohibition, and it was only made permissible for the sake of benefit and need. And because frequent repetition without need may lead to corruption, it may lead to seclusion, and it may lead to unlawful sexual intercourse, may Allah keep us safe, yes, as has happened to many people.
The presenter: Yes, yes. So: sitting only for the sake of need.
The Shaykh: And the benefit related to marriage without seclusion.
The presenter: May Allah bless you. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer: There is no harm in sitting in front of the suitor so that he can look at her without seclusion, provided her father, her brother, a woman, her mother, or someone similar is with her. He must not be alone with her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the suitor:
Go and look at her
اذهب فانظر إليهاIf one of you proposes to a woman, then if he is able to look at what would incline him to marry her, let him do so
إذا خطب أحدكم امرأة فإن استطاع أن ينظر منها إلى ما يدعوه إلى نكاحها فليفعلThe point is that if it is possible for him to look at her, that is appropriate; because this is closer to establishing harmony between them, closer to the success of the proposal, and closer to the success of the marriage. However, he must not be alone with her; rather, he sees her in the presence of others, such as her father or someone similar. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. Regarding repeating the sitting, Your Eminence, she is asking about repeating the sitting?
The Shaykh: If there is a need to repeat it, there is nothing wrong with it, for example, if the first time was not sufficient, or the second time. If there is a need, there is no blame, so that he knows her well and she knows him well.
The presenter: But continuously.
The Shaykh: But continuously without need, that is not appropriate, because the original ruling is prohibition, and it was only made permissible for the sake of benefit and need. And because frequent repetition without need may lead to corruption, it may lead to seclusion, and it may lead to unlawful sexual intercourse, may Allah keep us safe, yes, as has happened to many people.
The presenter: Yes, yes. So: sitting only for the sake of need.
The Shaykh: And the benefit related to marriage without seclusion.
The presenter: May Allah bless you. May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.